Yesterday I saw the flowers crying
Mourning for what used to be
And then I touched them with my mind
And saw they also cried for me

Today I saw the high sun frowning
Saddened by what I have become
No longer able to unfreeze my heart
Forever frozen until numb

Outside I found the air was dying
Stale and lifeless, short of breath
Poisoned by my thoughtless needs
To slowly lead us both to death
And all that is green has now been paled
The colors have faded, their brightness assailed
And, though I wish to make amends
The path of nature now only descends

The lonely creature of the woods are going
The way of the hopelessly forlorn
Until all that remains is myself, wretched man
Condemned to die before the morn

Lonely spirits hide behind my sight
They search the ruins of a dying mind
Dredging deeply for my will and courage
To face the future cleansing of my dreams

Piles of ashes sifting through my fingers
Wailing to the winds of remorse and regret
The only remnant of the past and of tomorrow
A shriveled life, a withered destiny

Upon a pyre, the ruins of my vision
Are burned away, freeing them of sin
Who cares to resurrect the unremembered and unknown
When even the ashes are just a memory

Follow me not in the depths of what is real
Into the objective vision over all
And do not join me in my misery
In my decision to remain as one apart

Deceive me not with false hopes of relief
Into believing that good can come of life
For I know that belief comes only from insanity
When I feel the pain of tortures unknown

What do I see in visions discreet?
Futures unseen, paths not meant to be
Where can I find inside my mind?
A means of escape from all of their kind

Sometimes I scream late at night in my head
In vain to release the frustrations
And I find no solace in the knowledge and lore
That is at the heart of my coping with life

And though I try to be not a sinner
I am yet a slave to temptation

Sometimes I cry when I look at the world
And watch it rushing hastily by
Without but a glance at my wretched self
Unconcerned with anguish and pain

A speck in the void, a fleeting cloud on the wind
I can't preserve even a second of love
But is it too late, Lord, help me not to hate
And to show the world that true sincerity lives

I stand on the edge of darkness, small and insignificant
Balanced between compromise and conviction
The abyss sweetly calls my name

I stare at this empty page, reflecting my future
Unable to express my inner trepidations
In hollow meaningless empty words

Who stands between me and self control?
How small the straw that is the last
How thin the walls which seal my mind
How close the final episode of apathy

In the darkness of night
The silence slowly takes form
The black velvet of loneliness
Stealthily moves to envelope my mind
And I relive morbid scenes of my life's tragedies

The icy touch of regretful woes
The spectre that is past grips my heart
Inflicting torture and deadly hindsight
Demanding correction of my wrongs

I walk back in time on the path of despair
The memories seem so painfully real
Ever shackled thus to my present days
I reside in the shadow of depression
In the churning maelstrom of emotion
The spectre bears me along unrelentingly...

Your scars remain before my eyes
Even those you choose not to reveal
Sensitive enough to yet bring tears
A burden of grief that I cannot ease

Dejectedly I sit and stare
Feeling all of my wounds afresh
Deep they reach into repressed
Feelings which I ever hoped to hide

Driven to our self-inflicted pain
And compelled to relive again
All of our vulnerable yesterdays
Thus we cope in our different ways

Who can tell me where to hide
What will make you whole inside
Most things I know will never change
Especially not the ones we wish
I torture myself
For I haven't any answers
So in despair we continue on
Fearful of another sunrise
Of another harmful dream

Lost inside the waking world
Where all is fear and decay
Playing the fool of society
The lonely game of life

Where is true sincerity
My own emotions I can't even trust
In the web of conformity
It seems there are no answers

Here is the night
And here I am
Where I remain within the walls
Which protect and hide
My thoughts on fast-forward
To empty promises I've made myself
To a place everywhere...
And nowhere

(Racing thoughts; no stop them please. Won't someone make me?
Laugh again; I just want to sleep forever, only without dreams.
Just black: nothing, but sleep never comes; I reach out - call out.
No one is there, no one hears. Where are you? Maybe I'll never know.
Find me, save me from all choices - all futures. No, answers never come.)

I'm alone
No one watches me
In no one's thoughts am I now
Must it be as if it never were?
I can't see beyond yesterday
As I fade from your memory
So do I fade from my own

(Goodbye...)