I could not understand
The motives of time
I could not see the path
Lain beneath my feet
I could not feel the world
I'm destined to destroy
I could not sense the pain
Echoing through me

And I would like to know
Will I remain the same?
And I would like to know
If I could die someday

My hands could never touch
The atoms in the air
My tongue could never taste
The exhaust from the stars
My lungs could never breathe
The rivers deep in time
My brain could never grasp
The space between space

And I would like to know
Will I remain the same?
And I would like to know
If I could die someday

Submit to your absolute fear
Surgical, precise evolution
Dive into a realm beyond existence
Will I awake at the end?

Submit to your absolute fear
Surgical, precise evolution
Become the thing you always hated most
Assassinate the remaining semblance

Though I never felt the presence of a god
I had aspirations of another life
A realm beyond this trite and futile flesh and bone
Standing on the precipice to transcend

My eyes can now perceive
The movements of time
My heart can now beat
To the rhythms of their pain
My mind can understand
The atrocities I will do
My hands already drenched
With blood yet to be spread

And I would like to know
Will I remain the same?
And I would like to know
If I could die someday
And I would like to know
Is eternity forced on me?
And I would like to know
What have I become?

Trembling from
Paradigm shifts
Unknowable
Pain

Mind contorting
Exploding stars
A panicked heart
Erupting seas

Breaking the surface
(Breaking the surface)
Of the water
This liquid enveloped
(This liquid enveloping)
My identity
Desperately inhale for air
(Desperately inhale for air)
Revealing the vortex
A vortex that
(A vortex that consumed)
Consumed worlds

Steady my mind and prepare
Prepare for the onslaught
As my nervous system attunes
Itself to this violent universe

Steady my mind and prepare
Prepare for the pain
A passionate lamentation
The genocide of culture

All I wish for
Is my blindness
I can never
Open my eyes

The intimate truth
Of existence
Unveil its true
Features to me

Weeping with closed eyes
(Closed eyes)
This sound alone
(The sound)
Shatters my soul
(Shatters my soul)
Forcing my body
Into the fetal form
(The fetal form)
I break down
With the agony

Steady my mind and prepare
Prepare for the onslaught
As my nervous system attunes
Itself to this violent universe

Steady my mind and prepare
Prepare for the pain
A passionate lamentation
The genocide of culture

I scream and I scream
Louder and louder
Forcing my lungs
To cry a crescendo

To block out the noise
To block out the pain
I desperately crave
I desperately need

To know the sweet
Release of death
To be granted
The choice (to die)

But it's too selfish of me
To ask in these times
(Such luxuries)

Releasing my hands
The veil of my sight
Blood dripping from where
I dug into skin

I peer into everything
And nothing all at once
Accept the pain of my
Approaching sins

There was a singular
Moment I recall
A vanishing weight
From deep within

When something inside me
Something inside fell asleep
And something else unknown
Something else woke up

Now that I can see the end
Can I do what must be done?
Can I learn to control
This monstrosity inside?

In myself I know I can find
All the things I despise
But what am I now
If I am not God?

What if we fail? What if we fall?
What if our reach exceeds our grasp?
Can we sustain a defeat of this size?
A war with uncertain odds?
What if I'm weak? And what if I'm wrong?
A shepherd leading the flock astray?
Can we bear another failure?

The ugly truth of us
Cosmic triumvirate
Combating death with death
My faith in us is wavering

Preserving life with blood
No knowledge or culture left
History, a grand failure
Evolution was just a joke

What if we fail? What if we fall?
What if our reach exceeds our grasp?
Can we sustain a defeat of this size?
A war with uncertain odds?
And what if I'm weak? And what if I'm wrong?
Just a shepherd leading the flock astray?
Can we bear another failure?

And what if we fail? What if we fall?
What if our reach exceeds our grasp?
Can we sustain a defeat of this size?
A war with unknowable odds?
And what if I'm weak? What if I'm wrong?
A shepherd leading my flock astray?
Can I sustain another failure?

We do not get the luxuries of death
Your identities remain nameless
We will not live to ever see
The world we fight and die for

We do not get the luxuries of life
A sweet embrace, a caress denied
All that we love and all that we know
Not even remembered by the dust of stars

Plagued by our vague humanity
We were always such a brilliant disease
Plagued by our vague humanity
Yet even disease can have beauty

Plagued by our vague humanity
We were always such a brilliant disease
Plagued by our vague humanity
Yet even disease can have beauty

What if we fail? What if we fall?
What if our reach exceeds our grasp?
Can we sustain a defeat of this size?
A war with uncertain odds?
What if I'm weak? What if I'm wrong?
A shepherd leading the flock astray?
Can we bear another failure?

What if we fail? What if we fall?
What if our reach exceeds our grasp?
Can we sustain a defeat of this size?
A war with unknowable odds?
What if I'm weak? What if I'm wrong?
A shepherd leading my flock astray?
Can I sustain another failure?

Cimmerian sights
Lightless towers
Galactic façade
Wave distorter

Dense line of frantic pleas
The sounds of dying worlds
Everything we thought we knew
Always has it been like this?

Chaos and unrest
Like a plague it spreads
Women, children, and men
Human and alien

Neutron transmitters
Surrounded by the abyss
Decipher and distort
Our visible light

From the structure I see
Infinite lightless voids
Towers raised in oppression
Controlling our evolution

Infiltrate the great barriers
Assimilate a billion years

I can hear the death throes
Of an ancient alien world
I can hear the dying screams
Of a trillion beautiful souls

In the great distance I see
The implosion of a galaxy
In the vast expanse I see
Points of light flashing then ending

Built on the deaths
Of a hundred million worlds
Filtering perceivable light

Creating and manufacturing
Our perception
Never knowing the
Obscured truth

In the great distance I see
The implosion of a galaxy
In the vast expanse I see
A vast array of lights ending

Cimmerian sights
Lightless towers
Galactic façade
Wave distorter

Master of the abyss
Banned from the heavens
Shrouding all our worlds
The Great Aphotic Barriers

An indescribable weight
Crushing my chest
My heart ceasing to beat
Too shocked to even cry

An anger wells up in me
I've not known in centuries
Compounding sorrow
My body falls apart

Never were we to be the harbingers of death
To be the ones to bring an end
I sought a different world for us all
A different world just for you

Twenty five thousand years under the guise
Of a cold blooded killer with a savior's eyes
The corpses of a billion souls dead at my feet
The voices of a billion screams

Have you ever looked into the eyes
Of a crying child as you take their life?
Promising heaven and giving them hell
Is this the monster you always sought?

Blank are my emotions
I despise myself
I have become nothingness
Nothingness infinite

Everyone else is forced to die
Then why not you suffer their fate?
Why not die at the hands
Of the monster you helped create?

How many ways
Can one die in space?
Can death be a release
And not tragedy?

If no one is left
To remember the dead
Can we ever hope
For life again?

All I see is pain
The death of the stars
The shattering of spirit
All I feel I can never describe

What happened to you?
What have you become?

Am I not what you asked for?
Am I not your precious masterpiece?

Can I not convince you
To cease this war?
I already despise me
There is nothing left to hate
Won't you please listen?
I can make this change
I already lost her, I
Cannot lose you too

No more can I listen
What I did cannot be undone
No more can I stand
What you did cannot be undone

No more can I breathe
What I did cannot be undone
No more can I see
I hate everything

Why must this be left to me?
Why have I been handed this fate?
Should I care what happens?
There is nothing left to save

Why must she be forced to die?
Is she still not more innocent than I?

Drifting ever so gently
Into the darkest madness
Falling ever so slowly
Into the emptiness

Won't you help me?
There must be a way
Can't you hear me?
Don't you abandon me now
I know you can hear me
I know there is a way
I know what must be done

Drifting ever so gently
Into the darkest madness
Falling ever so slowly
Into the emptiness

"Are you afraid of God?"
"No, but I'm afraid of you"

I can never forgive myself
For the horror I am
About to commit

I lay you down
Just as you were as a child
Tears streaming heavy down my face
Dropping down, running off the blade

I will never forgive myself
For the horror I have done
For taking this life

I will bury you all
In oblivion
I will lay waste
To every last one of you

Twenty five thousand years under the guise
Of a cold blooded killer with a savior's eyes
The corpses of a billion souls dead at her feet
All I'll ever hear is her dying screams

Have you ever looked into the eyes
Of your crying child as you take their life?
You promised them heaven, you gave them hell
In waves of immeasurable death

Have you ever looked into the eyes
Of your crying child as you take their life?
You promised them heaven, you gave them hell
In waves of immeasurable death

I have looked into the eyes
Of my crying child as I took her life
I promised her heaven, I gave her hell
In waves of immeasurable death

Contemplating this moment
For every second of every year
A surprise assault on the enemy fronts
Caressing and shaping master Antares
Weaponizing my existence

I can see
In all directions
Foresee the path of
Evolution

I can know
Everything
I am everything

I am a god
And my enemy is God
The devil, the beast, aggregate
Cosmically unbiased
I am a god
And our enemies are gods
An entity unified in flawlessness

Glorious cities
That soar across the voids
Armada impenetrable
Invulnerable swarm

Crashing through stars
Like ships across a sea
Always with time
You'll bow to our supremacy

I am all destinations
All paths end at these gates
I am the god of all religions
I am everything, yeah

I am The God
And my enemy is false
The saint, the sinner, anomaly
Ambitious hypocrite
I am your god
And you are condemned
Inferior Triumvirate

To know that you stand on a precipice
The dawn of a vast and sudden change
And stare deeply into that abyss
Is to let the abyss stare into you

Facing down a sentient black
That lusts to consume me
I reciprocate the eagerness
To unleash my own hell

Clenched hands around
The girth of a star
Above the cities
Of my enemy

Reduced and compressed
Into a Schwarzschild radius
Thermal emissions completely concealed
Gravitational lensing cloaked and veiled

Vacuum dive
Process beginning
In preparation for
Hostile contact

I can feel an unnerving
Presence
Shrouding itself from me
I know it must be them

Enter the hall
Of grand destruction
So begins the congregation
Of non-existence

A flash of light above
A dying star?
Light-hours of skyline
Engulfed in light

Bringing down the stars
Upon the gates
Launched forth a black hole
Into the depths of oblivion
To obliterate the consensus

Riding the rifts in space and time
I gladly invite this war

My ancient memories begin to swell
For those time left behind to die

I cannot believe what I see
Unfiltered perception must lie
A silhouette on a descending star
Transformed by the jaws of war

The instinctive pang of disgust and fear
On a separated mind
Gracefully in her terrific state
She moves across the stars
Indefatigable beauty and grace
A flawless seduction

Intense and immeasurable pain
Burning my chest
Elegant hand clenching my heart

Tightening grasp around my throat
"Why did you kill me?"
She screams at me

If only I could die
I'd gladly let you kill me

I am The God
And my enemy is false
The saint, the sinner, anomaly
Ambitious hypocrite
I am your god
And you are condemned
Inferior Triumvirate

I am a god
And my enemy is God
The devil, the beast, aggregate
Cosmically unbiased
I am a god
And our enemies are gods
An entity unified in flawlessness

Am I myself? Am I the one
I struggle to remember?
I cannot recall
These memories, are they of me?
Or just machinations
Of indoctrination?

Entwined in war
With the entities of death
What you were and what you are
And what you will be
Conjoined in the ideals of
A perfect system

Betrayed I am by own DNA
Not even granted death
Reconstructed in grotesque horrors
Forced to kill for my sovereign king

Evolution, such irony
You obtained what you have sought
And despised what you found
Turned into such a deformed thought
Repulsed by your own actions

Death ignites the sky
Ending galaxies
Countless lives
Have been brought to an
Endless war
Is perpetuated
Yet still I am
Caught here with
You are the only thing I'll long for
Just one more century
To undo all
That I have done
To this world
To my girls
Yet shall you remain
My enemy?

Oh, death, ironic I am
I took everything
You could never lose
And left you with your life
The single thing that you despise
Am I the price of godliness?

Death ignites the sky
Ending galaxies
Countless lives
Have been brought to an
Endless war
Is perpetuated
Yet still I am
Caught here with
You are the only thing I'll long for
Just one more century
To undo all
That I have done
To this world
To my girls
Yet shall you remain
My enemy?

"Do you think it's possible to
Redeem the kind of things
That we've done?"

Immense quantities
Unfathomable energy
Churning maelstrom
Mold the portal

Baryonic and dark alike
All matter consumed
Violent whirlpool
Through the bulk

Engage the engines
Start up the systems
Begin the process
Devour existence

Out of the dark
We transcend reality

Becoming
More than what we know
More than time
Beyond life
Beyond death

Immense quantities
Unfathomable energy
Churning maelstrom
Mold the portal

Baryonic and dark alike
All matter consumed
Violent whirlpool
Through the bulk
Oh, oh-oh-oh

Shattering apart
My death is finally here
Bring me the peace
Of non-existence

Euphoric pain
In the cold dawn of time
Bringing me peace
In the glorious unbirth

A finite
Point of light
Bursting into
A star

An ever-expanding
Point of light
Stopping time
For just you and I

Crossing the barrier
Between our world and the next
My body overcome
By a strange sensation

I cannot explain
What it is to feel this
Born again or alive
After death?

My eyes, am I blind?
My limbs, am I dead?
No
Time yet to dawn

Disengage the engines
Abort the systems
End this process
A new existence

Out of the dark
Consuming light
We transcend reality
Becoming
More than what we know
More than time
Beyond life
Beyond death

Out of blinding light
Portal of the bulk
Into unknown worlds
An infantile time
Fear and pain invade
Crippling the mind
Are we alive?

I stumble on the newborn stars
Tripping in the wake of hydrogen
Churning maelstrom of alien sea's
Attempt to drag me in deep

Struggling to stand
Against this odd gravity
My legs begin to shake
As the universe awakes
The enormity and awe
Of this moment caught in time
For just a second I could feel

The birth pangs of an infant universe
Pound my skull in painful bliss
An unfamiliar dark with growing points of light
We have arrived: a new dawn

The pain of my atrocities
Given one small, gentle reprieve
But should I allow myself
To feel anything other than hell?

I want to smile at what we've done
To enjoy a moment of eternity
I know there is no place for us
But for a moment, can we exist?

Lay me down at the edge of time
Embrace the nakedness of starlight
Relax and lull your weary mind
In our eternity

Close your eyes and think of us
You've suffered enough and earned your rest
No more fear and no more pain
We have earned this death

Laying against the newborn stars
Rolling in the seas of hydrogen
Embraced beneath alien skies
Fluidity in movements of flesh

Caressing against this odd gravity
Pulsating force in time with life
The enormity and awe
Of this moment caught in time
Our transient eternity

My powers shrivel
As my regrets blossom
By the time I realized
How far I had gone
It was too late to stop it
But there is still
One last chance at redemption
For both of us

What I have done
Cannot be undone
I cannot stop
What I have put in motion
But perhaps I can keep it
From ever starting
He was my first hope
And now he is my last

All of this has to end
Will I be strong enough
To see all the doors
And open whichever I choose
And if I bring him here
Who is to say he would be any match
For the monsters I have created?

But in the end
He is the one
Who will have to pay down
All of our accounts, won't he?
Where does his guilt start
And mine end?

"This is Doctor Sic-
I've obtained an unusual specimen
From the outer edge of the solar system
Object appears to be a container of sorts
Cubical, emitting no heat
Deep surface scans reveal nothing
Object is apparently infinitely dense
Scans pick up nothing once it hits the object
Tsk, either it contains nothing
Or it contains something of immense importance
To someone at least
Going to attempt to open
Uh, uh, uh, uh
Ob-object is sentient
Definitely of alien origin
It has obtained my DNA
It knows I'm here
Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha
It's studying me
I should leave
But something won't let me
Uh, uh, uh, uh
It's, it's talking to me
It's speaking, I can see
The universe
An odd coalescing of galaxies
Being, being devoured
Or, I don't know
It's in this, this feeling
It, it, the object
I know what it is
Where it's from
This, this visions
- events
They happened
The voice, speaking to me
It's warning me"

"My name is Elizabeth North
And this, this is my story"