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Totally Fucking Gay - With Friends Like These Who Needs Enemas? review



Reviewer:
3.0

1 user:
2
Band: Totally Fucking Gay
Album: With Friends Like These Who Needs Enemas?
Style: Grindcore
Release date: 2005
A review by: Herzebeth


01. Elton John Is Hot
02. I Wanna Blow Justin Timberlake
03. A Celebration Of Our Manliness
04. Jail Aint So Bad
05. Girls Are Icky
06. Men In Uniform
07. Hetero Bashing
08. An Orgy With The Village People

Ok did you read the band name already? Well, read it again please?Great! now you know how this album sounds. I could stop the review right here but apparently I have to be more professional and deep and blah, so here we go.

Totally Fucking Gay is a Grindcore band which uses synthesizers and a lot of keyboards in their music, kind of like S.M.E.S but not as cool. We have a band playing Electro-grind with a fruity concept, just check their lyrics, "Elton John Is Hot"? What the flying fuck these guys where thinking while writing their concept down? Beats me, but here I am writing some words because I received their album to review a month ago; I had my doubts about doing this as they didn't give me much material from where to dig good things, and my mommy always told me "If you can't say good things about someone, just shut the fuck up for the love of god", then I showed this to my girlfriend and she said "wow, do you like it this way or more pathetic", I really hope she didn't think I was showing her a gay DVD or something.

Some tracks are kind of catchy but the whole thing cracks when the dual vocals appear, one of them is the average grindcore screaming, but the second kind is apparently a gay man begging for a blowjob and it's really freaking annoying. The music is boring as watching grass grow; I actually think is way more entertaining to see that kind of things than to hear this album. The comedy concept doesn't work as they, instead of being funny, become a bunch of homophobic homosexuals you see? I know? oxymoron all over the place.

I don't want to write more about this shit; so I give you my classic closure for albums like this one. Things I learned while hearing With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemas? :

a) Totally Fucking Gay is totally fucking gay indeed.
b) No matter what this band thinks, Elton John is not hot.
c) Elton John may perhaps be hot to some people though.
d) Someone out there actually wants to blow Justin Timberlake and thinks his balls taste great; the same someone also wants to smack Justin's ass with a plastic spatula?Oh My God.
e) Homosexuals masturbate with enemas on a regular basis.
f) Anal Blast and Anal Cunt aren't as bad as I thought..
g) Beach + muscled man = the gayest cover in metal history.
h) Manowar cried because this band didn't mention them in their lyrics.
i) Tight and red underwear will make your package look bigger.
j) Hey, what do you know? There is a gayer band than H.I.M after all.

Stay away from this release.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 2
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 6
Production: 3

Written by Herzebeth | 14.06.2006




Comments

Comments: 54   Visited by: 161 users
14.06.2006 - 18:45
Syk
myspace/bonerama
Great review man, I'll follow your advice for sure
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death ? thrash ? death/doom/prog ? Hail Zoldon!

he's not the kind you have to [url=../bands/album.php?album_id=28982]wind up[/url] on Sundays
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14.06.2006 - 18:49
Herzebeth
My problem is that these guys have my postal address lol..I hope they won't send me a gay bomb or a dildo just to get back at me
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14.06.2006 - 18:58
VaronoZz
Vampbaron
they really suck...
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give praise for the blood it bled,
grant a rose for the dead...
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14.06.2006 - 19:06
Herzebeth
@VaronoZz: so you have heard them? poor you :'( at least now I know I can survive this experienece lol
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14.06.2006 - 19:09
CrypticMyth
Metal Scientist
@Herz: Hilarious stuff!
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"You're all the same, the lot of you, with your long hair and faggot clothes. Drugs, sex, every sort of filth. And you hate the police, don't you? You make it easy."
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14.06.2006 - 19:09
Thryce
Retired Staff
Elite
That cover only says enough
The word gay gets a new vulgar dimension after reading some of their lyrics... those are really Holy Shit !!
Thought there were no limits in grindcore but I've reached mine here, really not funny anymore. Plus after listening, I must conclude they suck (not only literally) !!
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Your favorite band sucks.
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14.06.2006 - 19:16
Basso
Account deleted
L-O-L hahahahaha now that is what I call a sexy cover....
No but seriously this is kinda gay
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14.06.2006 - 19:39
Thryce
Retired Staff
Elite
Lol "kinda" ?? They're like the gayest thing ever! They sure haven't stole their name ... I tell these gu(a)ys are totally sick and above all TOTALLY FUCKING GAY

"Elton John Is Hot"
"Now I know why they call you the Rocket Man? Saturday Night is alright for fucking"

"I Wanna Blow Justin Timberlake"
"I wanna blow Justin Timberlake? I am sure that his balls taste great? I think that he waxes his chest? I hope that he waxes his taint? Smacking Justin's ass with a plastic spatula"

"A Celebration Of Our Manliness"
"Give me a condom for my pee pee? I don't want it to smell like dookie? If I cum, is it salty and hot? I'm so glad you don't have a twat"

"Jail Ain't So Bad"
"Being locked up might be fun if your cellmate was Mike Tyson? Suck my cock and bite my ear? I'll stick my finger in your rear"

"Girls Are Icky"
"When I hold a hand with hair on the knuckle? I can't help it, my knees start to buckle? Hair on the big toe and hair on the back? These are the things that get me in the sack"

"Men In Uniform"
"Let me cum on your zits and they will go away? Just another reason to be gay? Men in uniform get me hard? Like rent a cops and crossing guards"

"Hetero Bashing"
"I'll admit I secretly wonder what it's like to be straight? Sometimes I think about Cameron Diaz when I masturbate"

"An Orgy With The Village People"
"In my mouth, in my ass, and one in each hand? Don't fuck with me, I'm with the band? Talented gay men with big cocks? I'm jerking off the Indian while I blow the cop"
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Your favorite band sucks.
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14.06.2006 - 21:11
Lucas
Mr. Noise
Elite
That's so gay!
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SLUDGE. DOOM. DEATH. Wait, what?

"The reason I'm running for president is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." - Barack Obama
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15.06.2006 - 00:44
Xxel
Account deleted
hahahaha god what i laughed

hahahaha 04. Jail aint so bad, hahaha
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15.06.2006 - 01:28
Linak
I Own You Bitch
lol you know how much this called my attention!
I'm actually keen to listen to that lol
and you're wrong on a couple of your conclusions
1. Manowar didn't cry, Kotipelto did
2. And there are a lot of gayer bands than HIM ^^ just ask me about that
.. up until now I hadn't noticed it says 'enemas' and not 'enemies' ^^ clever, yet stupid, lovely! XD
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Stick this up your fucking pee-aitch-dee.
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15.06.2006 - 01:30
Mariusz
Account deleted
Grindcore - this category of "music" (where is the music there? nowhere;) never was and never will be a part of metal for me. I don't know the reason why this record is here but that's your business. I'm not going to waste my time for something like another music clowns. There is so much better bands with truly metal sound and lyric - like Beyond Fear. I haven't seen here in Metal Storm a review of new Beyond Twilight album - For The Love of Art And Making, and I think that this is the release that's worth to have a review here. This is not a circus for another narrow minded guys that think that they're so cool because of telling stupid jokes and lies about homosexuality. This is their way to become on our sight? Shits like that, wastes the time when I want to read a metal review.
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15.06.2006 - 02:20
Xxel
Account deleted
Huh? How did you get in Beyond Fear in this discussion? My personal opinion is that it's great that this kind of music is made, makes you laugh right? ^^

Btw, please give me a link to some samples, or send them over msn or.... something! Gotta hear it! (I am not gay even though it might sound like that)
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15.06.2006 - 03:49
Herzebeth
@Cryptic Myth: hehe glad you liked it my friend

@Thryce: "The word gay gets a new vulgar dimension after reading some of their lyrics... " dude you should see their back cover..fuck me man..that's the worst masturbation item I've seen ever in my life

@Basso: sexy??? :O

@Henrik: genius??? :O

@_Linak: Ok my sweetie...I trust you, there must be gayer bands than HIM...but those are only YOUR bands and nobody ever should know they exist...thank you...

@Mariusz: dude you are so out of place here...Grindcore is metal..are you saying Carcass or Repulsion and Terrorizer not metal? damn that was worse than this album indeed. but thanx for the comment

@Xxel: lol..I'll catch you on msn soon I hope.
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15.06.2006 - 10:11
blackthor
I think you should try to orientate your reviews in the direction of music, not every crap is worth to be analyzed.
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15.06.2006 - 13:47
Spyroid
Rosetta Stoned
HOW could you rate this 3??? This is the best release so far of the whole century! THIS is music!
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15.06.2006 - 16:18
Basso
Account deleted
@Harzebeth: phun intended :O!

hahaha, the comments here rock xD
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15.06.2006 - 18:47
Carnage
holy fuck, hey is this band for real!? damn it, its bringing shame and ridicul to Metal, they really should do something to this band and destroy those homosexual bit....ahh! fuck it.... dude i feel sorry for u, thats torture writing a review for these guys...
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Even in death there's no equality...
because some people make better corpses than others...
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15.06.2006 - 18:57
Herzebeth
@Henrik: uhm...I'll stick with Torsofuck and CBT...even XX Maniak if you wish..there's something about cum in male zits that just doesn't feel right lol.

@Basso: indeed...the comments here ROCK...

@Christ Krusher : thanks I guess...but it wasn't that painful as I had some fun while reading all the comments left here so that kind of made things up for me lol
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15.06.2006 - 20:51
Insineratehymn
Account deleted
I already knew that I wouldn't be checking this album out any time soon, but after reading your review, I hope that no one else will check out this album either. If this album were available at a record store, I would break the CD in half and shove the broken pieces into the store clerk's eyes. Anyway, hilarious review, Herz! Your type of satire reminds me of Maddox.
Written by Herzebeth on 14.06.2006 at 18:49

My problem is that these guys have my postal address lol..I hope they won't send me a gay bomb or a dildo just to get back at me

They won't mail you any time soon. The band is probably too busy having anal sex with each other to do anything of the sort.
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15.06.2006 - 21:39
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Admin
The reaction to "Totally Fucking Gay" is utterly hilarious given all the horribly homoerotic imagery and undertones that are rampant in black metal. If I had a dollar for every time the word "sodomizing" was used, I could retire quite comfortably.
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get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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15.06.2006 - 22:01
Insineratehymn
Account deleted
Written by BitterCOld on 15.06.2006 at 21:39

The reaction to "Totally Fucking Gay" is utterly hilarious given all the horribly homoerotic imagery and undertones that are rampant in black metal. If I had a dollar for every time the word "sodomizing" was used, I could retire quite comfortably.

I find your comment to be doubleplusungood thinkwise.
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17.06.2006 - 09:08
marinBG
I don't know why you hate this so much. I haven't heard the music but the concept seems hilarious to me. And its very funny to see how people take seriously a comedy album. I would really like to hear that shit just to give it a shot.

Otherwise there might be another reason you hate this and you rated it so low - THE MUSIC IN IT SUX... if that's the case may be you're right to hate it
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...cause I don't give a fuck if you hate me!
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17.06.2006 - 14:43
Graveheart
Sounds like a "one joke wonder" to me, haven't heard the music though.
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18.06.2006 - 01:00
BORT
i think they're better then H.I.M. lol
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21.06.2006 - 16:54
fire101
Account deleted
Wow. I didnt know people could be so homophobically gay. Is that even possible? Nice review, Herz, it cracked me up.
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21.06.2006 - 17:45
Elijah
Dance, bitch!
I have to download this just for the hilarity.
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21.06.2006 - 17:57
danzig111
Account deleted
do they have a site? i wanna hear them lol.
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21.06.2006 - 18:01
Herzebeth
No they don't have a site man..the only think they have is an e-mail, you can contact them to buy their album...but I don't recommend you to do it this album sucks not only by its concept but by the music as well...
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05.07.2006 - 02:50
Aresius
Account deleted
too gay for my taste... hmm...dont mess with Manowar
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