Band:	Vampires Everywhere!
Album:	Kiss The Sun Goodbye
Style:	Metalcore
Release date:	May 17, 2011
A review by:	Doc G.

01. Bury Me Alive
02. Immortal Love
03. Undead Heart
04. Ashes To Ashes
05. Kill The Chemicals
06. Bleeding Rain
07. Carnage At The Castle
08. The Embrace
09. Lipstick Lies
10. Children Of The Night
11. Call Out The Dead
12. Silver Bullet

If nothing else, Century Media should give themselves a big pat on the back for a great marketing opportunity they've snagged themselves here. The cinematic/literary masterpiece Twilight and it's subsequent followups really ignited some bizarre new world-wide love of vampires. While sales of Count Chocula have undoubtedly hit a huge spike, we have yet to see any strictly vampire-themed metal and/or metal related products hit the market. Of course we have various gothic bands that have definitely explored the theme of exsanguination, but there's no bands exclusively revolving themselves around the subject. That is, until this waste of time was created.

Too bad Vampires Everywhere! is to metal what Edward is to Nosferatu. Wussified and unthreatening. Unlike Twilight, Vampires Everywhere! isn't really bringing anything new to its form of media, for better or worse. Judging by the press release that went along with this album it's hard to say whether I'm an idiot for trying to review this on a serious level, and Century Media was just a little late getting their April fools day prank together, or this band is something that should be genuinely considered a musical entity. A lead singer who goes by the name of Michael Vampire who apparently considers himself to be an actual vampire really leads me to believe there is no possible way this isn't a joke. Maybe this man (yes, keep in mind this band consists of grown men) just came up with a creative excuse for his iron deficiency. I don't even want to fucking know.

Here's an unpleasant thought for you: This band will be huge. Brace yourselves and mark my words; teenagers are the most researched age group by any type of marketers. As a collective group, they dump the most disposable income into the economy every year. Couple this fact with a band that not only has a widely accessible sound, but also has that androgynous look that can really appeal to screaming teenage girls, while at the same time catering to the new juvenile fascination of vampires, what you've got is one helluva money machine.


.......



...Oh yeah! I forgot there was music...Screamo. Terrible, cringe-inducing screamo/metalcore. Think of an Escape The Fate/Bring Me The Horizon clone, slap on a goofy, yet incredibly marketable gimmick on top and you've pretty much got the idea.