Written by Ernotar on 15.02.2009 at 21:11

Men are like... Cement
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like... Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like... Government bonds
They take so long to mature.

Men are like... Lawn Mowers
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

brilliant

Written by Ernotar on 17.02.2009 at 09:44

Running out of jokes, are you?! I can see the same ones for a second time already.

Hard to keep track


# How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.


=================================================

A Letter from Men to Women

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

* The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.

* Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.

* When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.

* When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.

* If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.

* If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.

* If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.

* I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.

* Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.

* Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.

* If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.

* I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.

* Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

Thank you for your understanding,
From all men.


========================================================

The Ages Of Women
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

A couple is standing in the bathroom brushing their teeth.. Getting ready for work.
Suddenly the man slips on the wet bathroom floor, falls over and hit his head on the sink. Blood is everywhere, and the wife panics!

But then she remembered she could fix her hair in front of the mirror in their bedroom.

Haha.

Damn.. I suck telling jokes :-p Glæh

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask for directions.

Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Men Are Like

..Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

..Bike helmets.
They're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

..Copiers.
You need them in reproduction but that's about it.

..Lava lamps.
Fun to look at it but not all that bright.

..Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

..High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

..Curling irons.
They're always hot and always in your hair.

..Mini skirts.
If your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

..Handguns.
Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

..Floor tiles.
Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a lifetime.

Written by Sigyn on 17.02.2009 at 11:55

A couple is standing in the bathroom brushing their teeth.. Getting ready for work.
Suddenly the man slips on the wet bathroom floor, falls over and hit his head on the sink. Blood is everywhere, and the wife panics!

But then she remembered she could fix her hair in front of the mirror in their bedroom.

Haha.

Damn.. I suck telling jokes :-p Glæh

Haha I've heard that one...just with a guy realising he can shave by the kitchen sink instead

Written by Himann on 17.02.2009 at 10:04

The Ages Of Women
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

Oh, no! Damn, I'm right in the middle of Sahara.

Mkay, a little bit from me too. I hope I won't be repeating (well, I can't remember all the jokes, huh).

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

If men could be pregnant, then it would be possible to make aborts in every gas station.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
- They all already have boyfriends.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
- "My wife says..."

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
- Because they're all pigs.

Why do little boys whine?
- Because they are practicing to be men.

Why do men like smart women?
- Opposites attract.

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
- Telling you his real name.

What's the best way to kill a man?
- Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
- The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
- Four guys watching a football game.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
- A power failure.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
- Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Written by Ernotar on 17.02.2009 at 09:44

@ForeverDarkWoods Here's a special one for you: What did a Swede do, when he heard there's sugar in his urine? - Peed on his cereals.

Yeah, yeah I love you too.....



Besides, we have those stories too, I could tell like a million of them. Except our versions are about Norwegians. Everybody knows that Norwegians and Danish people are simply low-budget versions of Swedes. The norwegians simply didn't turn out as smart as us and the Danish got problems talking properly.....

But then again, I'd best get back to the war, instead of chit-chatting with and professing my love for the enemy.

Offensive joke time:

What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?
Albert Einstein's cock.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Her sentence starts with "A man once told me...".

Female hormones in beer:

Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a
1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn't drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong

And in response to your men are like... thingy:

Women are like:

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

Written by ForeverDarkWoods on 17.02.2009 at 22:42

Offensive joke time:

What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?
Albert Einstein's cock.

Damn... that was just mean! XD

Ok guys, the last part:
100 ADVANTAGES FROM BEING A MAN [PART 4]

75- Someday you can become an old dude with great chics with you...
76- You can relate everything with the sentence "ahhh, fuck it.
77- If someone shows up with the same colthes as you, He can be your friend after
78- Lady Di's death was just another death
79- A huge burp is almost obvius, that's why it's ok for us.
80- You never miss a sexual experiencia just because you didn't want to.
81- You think that kicking a small dog is actually pretty damn funny.
82- If something just doesn't work, you can always hit it with the hammer and throw it.
83- The shoes never hurt you.
84- Porno movies are made for you.
85- You don't need to remember a larger count of birthays or anniversaries than just the necessary
86- If you don't like someone, that doesn't mean you can't have good sex with her.
87- Your friends can't surprise you wth the sentence: "And... do you notice something different in me?"
88- Baywatch
89- With 400 millions sperms by shot, you can double world's population!
90- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.... really.
91- You can eat a banana or glass without looking funny or just rediculous.
92- You can say anything without giving a damn of what the others will think
93- "playing" before sex is just optional.
94- Tom Cruise, Bradd Pitt, David Beckham and others don't form a part of your universe.
95- Noone stops tellng a sexist joke when you suddely enter the room.
96- You can just take off yourt-shirt if it's too hot.
97- You don't have to clean everything up everytime someone enters the house.
98- You don't care about the need of pee.
99- You don't really make up histories about how your love broke up with you
100- And well... Just being a man

Written by Ragana on 17.02.2009 at 20:00

Written by Himann on 17.02.2009 at 10:04

The Ages Of Women
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

Oh, no! Damn, I'm right in the middle of Sahara.

Hope its not hot in there..

Courses Women Should be REQUIRED to take:

* Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
* The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
* Parties: Going Without New Outfits
* Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
* Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
* Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
* Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
* Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
* Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
* Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
* Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
* Introduction to Parking
* Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
* Water Retention: Fact or Fat
* Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
* Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
* Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
* Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
* PMS: Your Problem... Not His
* Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
* Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
* Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
* Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
* Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
* TV Remotes: For Men Only


========================================================

A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger tits."
Well the man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.
The woman looked at him and said "Toilet paper, what will that do?"
The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your arse."


==========================================================

A male-to-female transexual was recently interviewed on a radio talk show.
The DJ asked the transexual about what, if any, pain the person experienced
during the operation. The transexual replied, "Well, when they cut my penis off,
that really didn't hurt too much. Even when they implanted the breasts in my
chest, well, that really didn't hurt too much either...."
"Then you didn't experience any real physical pain at all then?"
"Hell no! It hurt like hell when they stuck that big fucking needle in my
head and sucked out all my brains and then cut my salary in half!"

Are we done with the sexist jokes? I'm getting kinda tired and want to read some other types of jokes.

@DreamWeaver I see, a male asking us to quit this little war of ours. Sure, but that'll mean YOU LOST.

Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."
When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh."

Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry!

Why do men die before their wives?
They should.

Why is virginity like a balloon?
All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

How do you confuse a man?
You don't have to - they're born that way

What are the three types of men?
The handsome, the caring and the majority

What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding?
You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.

What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

How can you tell if your husband's dead?
Sex is the same but you get the remote.

What food describes most men?
Jerky.

How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?

Why did God create men?
She forgot to put the legs on snakes.

How do you get a man on the roof?
Tell him the beers on the house.

How can you tell if a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig?
He thinks "harass" is two words

Why don't men die in their sleep?
'Cuz they can't do two things at the same time.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A man who told too many blonde jokes.

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. . .
Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manual."

Written by DreamWeaver on 18.02.2009 at 08:12

Are we done with the sexist jokes? I'm getting kinda tired and want to read some other types of jokes.

As long as we agree that guys rule and girls drool, I'll agree.. Some Cannibal jokes, just for u mate..


Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other:"Does this taste funny to you?"

A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

Did you hear about the cannibal student who was suspended from school for buttering up his teacher?

Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant where dinner costs an arm and a leg?

What do cannibals do at a wedding?
They toast the bride and groom.


===================================================

A man was captured by cannibals. "What," asked the cannibal chief, licking his lips, "was your job before you were captured?"
"I was a newspaper man," came the reply.
"An editor?"
"No, merely a sub-editor."
"Cheer up. Promotion awaits you. After dinner you will be editor-in-chief."

Written by Ernotar on 18.02.2009 at 09:45

@DreamWeaver I see, a male asking us to quit this little war of ours. Sure, but that'll mean YOU LOST.

Us? Lose? Never!!!

One day, God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam was sitting by himself.
"Where's Eve?" He asked.
"Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed. This happens every month or so."
"So where is she?" asked God.
"Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam.
"Damn," said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."


=====================================================

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is required.

Etiquette and Behavior:
EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) - Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's
EB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas (Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)
EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
EB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company
EB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
EB106: How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
EB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary

General Electives:
GE101: You, The Whining Sex
GE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
GE103: Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
GE104: Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
GE105: Learning To Appreciate Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

Home Economics:
HE101: You Can Change The Oil Too
HE102: How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug
HE103: How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football
HE104: How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop
HE105: Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself
HE106: How To Close The Garage Door
HE107: How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste
HE108: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
HE109: Why Going To The Bathroom Is Not A Group Activity
HE110: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")

Interpersonal Relationships:
IR101: Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness
IR102: If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation
IR103: Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation
IR104: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching "The Three Stooges"
IR105: Marriage - The Number One Cause Of Divorce

Life Skills:
LS101: Combatting The Impulse To Nag
LS102: Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around
LS103: Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right
LS104: Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility
LS105: Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours
LS106: How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia
LS107: Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank
LS108: How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself
LS109: You Too Can Carry A Backpack
LS110: Dress Like A Slut And Put On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your Brain
LS111: Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
LS112: How To Remain Femininely Enticing And Attractive After Menopause
LS113: How To Parallel Park

Sex Education:
SE101: Reasons To Give Head To Your Man
SE102: How To Stay Awake During Sex And Imagine That It Lasted For Over 10 Minutes
SE103: Fall Semester: You Can Use A Bed For More Than Just Sleep Spring Semester: It's Okay To Do It Outside Of The Bedroom
SE104: How To Say "Yes" More Often
SE105: How To Say "No" But Really Mean "Yes"
SE106: Lingerie - The Gift That Keeps On Giving
SE107: Sexual Alternatives For "That Time Of The Month" (formerly called "Any Old Port In A Storm")
SE108: Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only)

Written by Ernotar on 17.02.2009 at 17:17


Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

Good one, haha.. But you know when a woman negotiate with such an open mind man in this way, she soon will find some of the man's brain cells on her hands and face...

Written by Hamird on 18.02.2009 at 17:04

Written by Ernotar on 17.02.2009 at 17:17


Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

Good one, haha.. But you know when a woman negotiate with such an open mind man in this way, she soon will find some of the man's brain cells on her hands and face...

now that's nasty, funny, but nasty

Written by Hamird on 18.02.2009 at 17:04

Written by Ernotar on 17.02.2009 at 17:17


Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

Good one, haha.. But you know when a woman negotiate with such an open mind man in this way, she soon will find some of the man's brain cells on her hands and face...

Good one lol..

@ Hämid From the list "what porn films WOULD LIKE US to believe":

- Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

So, you can only wish that any girl with a bit of intelligence would let a guy come on her face.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The number of the beast:

666
The number of the Beast

664
The Neighbor of The beast

667
Across the street from the Beast

660
Estimated number of the Beast

666-66-6666
SSN of the Beast

666.0666
The number of the High-Performance Beast

0.666
Number of the milliBeast

1/666
The Denominator of the Beast

666[-/(-1)]
The Imaginary Number of the Beast

1010011010
The Binary Number of the Beast

29A
The Hexidecimal Number of the Beast

1-666
The Area Code of the Beast

60666
The Zip Code of the Beast (somewhere in Chicago)

1-900-666-6666
The Psychic Beast ($6.66 for 666 seconds - over 18, please)

$666.00
MSRP of the Beast

$726.66
The price, including sales tax, delivered

$10,666.95
Price, with leather, sun-roof, and radials

$566.69
The Wal-mart price of the Beast

Phillips 666
The gas the Beast runs best on

Route 666
The road the Beast likes best

666ºF
The temperature at which to roast Beast

666 k
Retirement plan of the Beast

666 mg
Minimum Daily Required dosage of Beast

6.66%
Annual Percentage Rate on a mortgage from First Beast Bank

DSM-666(r)
Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of the Beast (revised)

Lotus 6-6-6
Spreadsheet of the Beast

DOS 6.66
Operating system of the Beast

i68666
CPU of the Beast

666tii
BMW of the Beast

Taking a woman to bed

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

Written by Graveheart on 21.02.2009 at 23:16

Taking a woman to bed

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

You know for a man from age of 18 to 68 is the same story...

Huh, you mean you take men to bed?

Written by Graveheart on 22.02.2009 at 13:03

Huh, you mean you take men to bed?

haha that comment just made my day

Written by Graveheart on 22.02.2009 at 13:03

Huh, you mean you take men to bed?

NO!!!

I meant in this case, for a lady who wants to take a man to the bed, is no difference whats the age of man. They just need one thing and a pair which are available in entire of a man's life..

Oh alright, now I see what you meant

--

You know you are too fat when...

• You're lying on the beach and Greenpeace activists keep trying to push you back into the ocean
  
  
• You can't find your underpants although you're sure you still had them on yesterday
  
  
• You're asked to be the crush barrier in a demonstration
  
  
• Michelin asks you to be their model
  
  
• The Hubble telescope takes your passport photo
  
  
• On a plane you're directed to the cargo hold
  
  
• Stevie Wonder can see you
  
  
• Japanese tourists won't stop taking pictures of you with their panorama cameras
  
  
• You've passed out on a railway yard and wake up with graffitis all over you
  
  
• Elevators go down and only down
  
  
• You're shopping for shoes but none of them seem to fit, so the salesman goes to fetch some vaseline and a shovel for your help
  
  
• Your kitchen stool mysteriously disappears whenever you sit on it
  
  
• Surfers lust after sex with you - they want to ride the waves...

HAHAHAH @ Graveheart Classic made me laugh so hard...

good stuff.

Right, so this one is bad, but ill tel it anyway

knock knock
whos there?
knock knock
whos there?
knock knock

OPEN THE COFFIN!!! I THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE!!!

Written by PsychoNerd on 27.02.2009 at 00:28

Right, so this one is bad, but ill tel it anyway

knock knock
whos there?
knock knock
whos there?
knock knock

OPEN THE COFFIN!!! I THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE!!!

how canyo say it's bad!? it's amazing it made me laugh real hard!

@graveheart: this one made me laugh a lot as well. i'm gonna show it to a friend who i know will enjy it a lot. guess why...

Alright, so this one i know is bad

an optimist says th glass is half full
a pestamist says th glass is half empty
a engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs t be

A guy goes to his mother in law on a visit. there he finds she prepared lots of tasty-looking foods: pork, chicken, salads etc. all for him, but doesn't start eating just yet. while she isn't looking, the guy slips a bit of steak to the cat, who, after a few quick spasms, drops stone dead. the guy senses his in-law's intention and grabs a huge metal pot. just as she was coming back in the room he whacks his mother in law and she drops flat on her back, dead. at which point the cat, from under the table, shouts: "thank you dear lord!!!"

How do you keep an idiot busy?

read below

how do you keep an idiot busy?

read above

Written by Valentin B on 13.03.2009 at 16:46

How do you keep an idiot busy?

read below

how do you keep an idiot busy?

read above

Damn you.