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Metal Storm Valentine's Day Special

Written by: Thryce
Published: 14.02.2010

Believe it or not, but we at the Metal Storm Towers do have a heart. Not a particularly romantic one, but still we more or less respect traditions - even the shitty commercial ones. Since we also tend to have a biting sense of humor, here's our little Valentine's Day Special... with a twist - or what did you expect.

To all the suckers loverboys 'n girls out there - seriously, what the hell are you doing online anyway, shouldn't you be experimenting with that kinky chocolate fountain you just bought for thy beloved one? - here are five love serenades, carefully chosen to match as background music for that romantic dinner later tonight - you're going to thank me for this. To all the rest, enjoy these songs with a bottle of love poison next to you - William Lawson is the only true prince on the white horse. Remember, Valentine's Day is just another free reason to get drunk out of your skull. So let's do this in style.

Welcome to the Metal Storm Love Countdown Top 5!

Ow yeah, did I forget to mention this list isn't as corny as it sounds?

Exodus - No Love | [Video]
Let's set the tone right here; "tonight there'll be no love", and no amount of Hallmark Valentine's Day cards will change that. We all know thrash is as romantic as a fried bologna sandwich is healthy, but at least this particular love song isn't a recipe for disappointment.

Ghost Brigade - My Heart Is A Tomb | [Video]
No Valentine's Day list without a dark romantic-like tune for those poor lost souls who feel they cannot be loved... or something equally melodramatic. No need to become all emo about this. This is just a day like any other. No need to tell us how to feel. So no need for a My Dying Bride whining fest in this list - it was close to impossible to pick only one appropriate song out of their whining fest collection anyway. But just in case, keep those handkerchiefs ready.

Lifelover - I Love (To Hurt) You | [Video]
As an old saying I just made up goes, after the handkerchiefs come the handcuffs. By long-running tradition, Valentine's Day is THE day to spice things up a little. The best thing is, your partner can't refuse, because Cupido said so, it's in the bible you know.

Pig Destroyer - Trojan Whore | [Video]
Meet Pig Destroyer's homage to one of the most compelling love stories in Greek mythology... well that, and we needed a slow dance in the list too. There's no such thing as February 14th without the special Pig Destroyer chemistry - wink wink.

Cannibal Corpse - Fucked With A Knife | [Video]
Nothing says "I love you" as much as getting fucked with a knife, am I right? I know this sounds a little crazy, but I strongly believe fucking your sweetheart with some kitchen utensils is a great way to improve your sex life. Sure, it's more like the Happy Tree Friends kind of romantic; entirely random, totally uncalled for and just for the sake of being brutal. But hey, it's Valentine's Day, go crazy.

Feel free to add your own all-time anti-love metal song. So that by next year we have a killer mixed tape, and a guaranteed ticket for a night of rip-roaring bed gymnastics. Giggity.

Comments page 2 / 2

Comments: 34   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 493 users
16.03.2010 - 18:17
The Ancient One
One thing I miss is Cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss
We met last night making love under the refrigerator light
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms

One thing
No lie
Ethyl's frigid as an eskimo pie
She's cool in bed
Well she oughta be 'cuz Ethyl's dead

Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come on Cold Ethyl
Freeze me babe

One thing - it's true
Cold Ethyl I am stuck on you
And everything is my way
Ethyl don't have much to say

Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come here Cold Ethyl
What makes you so cold? Ooh so cold
get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
08.10.2011 - 09:03

Why doesn't Throwdown tour more. Then need to come to KC!!!
05.04.2012 - 17:07

No time for love...
05.04.2012 - 17:09


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