Mike Porntoy creates Anti-Dream Theatre Band
Mike Porntoy creates Anti-Dream Theatre Band
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8.2 | 10 votes |
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The other week I had the amazing opportunity to sit down with no other than Mike Porntoy. If for some cosmic sized reason you have no idea who Porntoy is all you really need to know is that he is one of the most famous and greatest drummers ever helping to found a little band called Dream Theatre. In addition to the Prog Metal legends he was in Liquid Tension Experiment, OSI, Neal Morse, TransAtlantic, Avenged Sevenfold, and about four dozen other projects. But most recently it wasn't a band that he joined that made news, but the one he left, Dream Theatre. A while back I wrote an article on it and as fate would have it Mr. Porntoy actually read it after it was posted on his Facebook page. We were able to get in contact with each other to do this interview after an appearance in a music store where he signed autographs and answered questions from fans. During our sit down he revealed something huge to me: a formation of a new band! Dane Train: First let me get my fan boy jitters out and say this is more than just a pleasure but an honor to actually sit down with you. Mike Porntoy: Hey, no problem. DT: I don't really want to talk about you leaving Dream Theatre as that is old news and you're probably sick of people asking you about it so let's focus on the future, shall we? What are your plans for the next year? MP: Funny you should mention Dream Theatre, 'cause my new project is actually kind of an anti-Dream Theatre thing? DT: Really? MP: Yup. We're calling it Nightmare Cinema... DT: The same thing you did back during Touring Into Infinity? MP: *laughs* Damn, you really are a fan boy, most people don't know about that. But yeah, it is kind of that and kind of not. DT: How so? MP: Well after I left those guys I was talking to Dave Mustaine, who is such a good friend by the way, about some personal stuff since he went through something very similar two decades ago. He told me that I needed to see this as an opportunity to rise above those assholes and do something great, just like what he did with Megadeth towards Metallica. I decided to call up the other two guys who had been kicked out of the band and do something with them DT: You mean Charlie Dominici and Derek Sherinian!? MP: I do. They both have gone on to have solo careers and especially Derek has had a lot of guest appearances. I figure the three of us reunite and make a record that is both really good and really fun. DT: Is it going to be Prog? MP: Some of it will. It is a combination of several different things. I've always wanted to do some Death Metal type stuff so we have Mikael Åkerfeldt coming in to guest on a few tracks. DT: No way! MP: And Mustaine said he might come in as well. I was really inspired by Austrian Death Machine in a lot of ways. It was really kickass music but fucking funny as all get out. DT: So is it going to be a funny album? MP: Some people might think so. We're using this as a way to vent our frustrations and to make ourselves laugh. Really teen angst type stuff at times. We have a four song suite that is untitled but each section is entitled "James is a Stupid Canadian Bitch", "Pettricci is a Stupid Whiteboy Bitch", "Myung is a Stupid Chinese Bitch" and "Jordan is a Stupid Jewish Bitch". So it is stuff like that. DT: Wow! How do you think the guys in Dream Theatre are going to take it? MP: I don't give a fuck. That is why I am writing this stuff. They're all a bunch of bitches. Pettricci needs to pull his 97 string guitar out of his ass. DT: You sound kind of bitter about all of this. MP: On the contrary, this is my release. All their dirty little secrets and such are going to come out here. DT: Like what? MP: Well did you know that while recording Six Degrees, James would show up to the studio wearing an adult-sized feety pajama thing that had a hood with a fucking koala face on it. Yeah, that stupid ass dressed up like a fucking koala while we recorded. Used to sit in trees and eat leaves and shit. DT: You have got to be kidding me. MP: Not at all. Have you ever looked at that guy? He is looks like the gay Canadian Fabio! Seriously, that is why I have a song called "James Takes It Deep" on the record. DT: Oh I have got to hear more. MP: Sure. Pettricci cries in the shower. I've fucking heard it a million times. DT: Why is that? MP: I have no idea, but I think it is because he is getting fat and old. But the best is when after a long day on the road he sits down with a tub of ice cream, puts on Simple Minds and cries while he stuffs his face. DT: No wonder he is getting fat and old. MP: Speaking of old, look at Jordan. Pretty soon grandpa is going to need a walker. But on a more serious note during our tour with Maiden last year Steve and I raided Jordan's room and found some little blue pills... DT: I am really hoping there is a song coming out of that story. MP: Not yet...but maybe there could be. Like how about "The Wizard and His Floppy Hat" for a title? DT: I love it. MP: There are so many things like that I want to do on this record. DT: What about Myung? MP: Who? DT: John Myung? The bass player. MP: Never heard of him. DT: *laughs* Great YouTube reference. MP: Thanks. I was hoping you would like it. As for Mr. Wax-on-wax-off, well, I can't reveal everything about the album. But the biggest thing is us getting it out there for the world to see what a bunch of fucking tools those guys are. DT: What about that younger band you played with last year? MP: Fags. DT: Really? MP: Yup. After two days on the road with them I had had about enough Rachel Ray and Milli Vanilli. Those guys act so tough on stage and in their photo shoots but when no one is looking the turn into a bunch of weepy bitches with sand in their vaginas. They used to stay up after shows and play Truth or Dare. Really? This is what we do on tour now? Act like the fucking Olson Twins? Shit man, I saw Matt and Brian making out on a dare one time. Yeah, way to gay for me. DT: Are you going to put any of that on the album? MP: Nah. I mean most of the world already knows their a bunch of cock sucking losers who couldn't find a date on prom night and stayed home to play D&D while they drank their fucking Dew and spanked each others asses while dressed up like purple unicorns and sang along to Tiffany. I really should just do the world a favor and kill all of them. DT: Well, Mike it sounds like you have a lot of plans ahead of you. I better let you get going. Thank you for your time and all the insight. MP: Your welcome. |
Comments
| diogobarbosa90 Posts: 14 |
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| Bas Retired Staff Elite Posts: 5591  |
MP: Well did you know that while recording Six Degrees, James would show up to the studio wearing an adult-sized feety pajama thing that had a hood with a fucking koala face on it. Yeah, that stupid ass dressed up like a fucking koala while we recorded. Used to sit in trees and eat leaves and shit.
---- BAS - Beautifully Accented Sexiness
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| qlacs "The Quaker" Posts: 1547  |
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| MétalNoir Fils du Lys Posts: 847  |
Written by Bas on 01.04.2011 at 17:43 lolllllllllllll
---- Notre destinée n'est pas encore tracée....
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| Lucas Mr. Noise Elite Posts: 13427  |
Written by Bas on 01.04.2011 at 17:43 
---- SLUDGE. DOOM. DEATH. Wait, what?  "The reason I'm running for president is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen." - Barack Obama
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| Zenzero Zenzero Posts: 472  |
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| Aetherius Posts: 219  |
Lol this is a bit old by now, but i just got around to reading it, very funny Dane 
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| Cuca Beludo Account deleted |
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| jhook Posts: 37 |
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| Kap'N Korrupt Account deleted |
Kap'N Korrupt
Account deleted Written by Bas on 01.04.2011 at 17:43 James Labrie is a furfag!
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| Dane Train Beers & Kilts Elite Posts: 8902  |
Written by jhook on 21.09.2011 at 07:26 I think you missed a lot of the jokes. Look at the drummers name again.
---- (space for rent)
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| JohnDoe Account deleted |
JohnDoe
Account deleted Written by Dane Train on 22.09.2011 at 00:02 wow, I just noticed the drummer's name, now that you drew attention on it
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| jhook Posts: 37 |
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| Kap'N Korrupt Account deleted |
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| Milena gloom cookie Staff Posts: 4603  |
Written by [user id=2084] on 22.09.2011 at 06:52 This article was an April Fool's joke this year  Though the things he says about them now aren't too far fetched from it either =.=
---- 7.0 means the album is good
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| Kap'N Korrupt Account deleted |
Kap'N Korrupt
Account deleted Written by Milena on 23.09.2011 at 16:40 Shit...I didn't even look at the date when this was posted! Sorry! My bad...
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| Timmeh Dudeman Posts: 344  |
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| tea[m]ster Au Pays Natal Contributor Posts: 5266  |
LoL, never saw this at the time. Good stuff!
---- rekt
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