Band:	Eternal September
Album:	Your Computer Lies
Style:
Release date:	2010
A review by:	Troy Killjoy

01. Fly On The Wall [Miley Cyrus cover]
02. Piss On Me [Britney Spears cover]
03. Diva [Beyoncé cover]
04. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover]
05. I Can't Get You Out Of My Head [Kylie Minogue cover]
06. My Love [Justin Timberlake cover]
07. Circus [Britney Spears cover]
08. Diva [Beyoncé cover] [Remix version]
09. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Remix version]
10. Circus [Britney Spears cover] [Alternate version]
11. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Belzebass Remix version]
12. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [IKKI Remix version]
13. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Ercole And His Brother Remix version]

Pop metal
Sweden
Hell Yeah! Records

Line-up on the CD:
Stephen Hills - vocals
James Nayler - vocals
Purple Tentacle - guitar
Bernard Bernoulli - bass
Hoagie - drums


Pop metal. That's right - pop metal. Not the kind of pop metal that Iron Maiden play (i.e. popular metal), but metalized pop music. Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake (all words, er, names you wouldn't expect - or want - to appear in a review featured on a metal webzine) are all covered on Eternal September's auspicious debut, Your Computer Lies.

The band is giving their fans plenty of time to wait for the physical release of the album, which will make its apparently "highly anticipated" appearance in the early stages of December 2012. As in 2 full years from now. Until then, however, one can make their way over to the band's official website and simply download the album in its entirety, with the option to donate some pocket change to the band members for their efforts. Never one to dissuade audiences from paying their respects to their favorite bands, I will encourage everyone to drop a dime or two into these Swedes' hats.

Anyway, the music. If the tracklist wasn't enough of a tell, these guys aren't exactly your typical metal band are a mockery of Children Of Bodom's Skeletons In The Closet compilation and Six Feet Under's Graveyard Classics trilogy, both already more than mockeries in their own respects. The songs aren't much different from their original versions, with the noted exception of heavy guitars and hardcore vocals that alternate between upbeat raspy screams and nasally clean passages. Easily the worst of the bunch is Britney's "Piece Of Me", which has been aptly renamed "Piss On Me". This song sounds like how one would feel after draining a urinal cake into their mouth, especially with its "humorous" high-pitch narration about halfway through. Perhaps a coincidence, the only track comparable in terms of unadulterated annoyance is "Circus", yet another Britney Spears cover. Atrocious at best.

Not much of a surprise is how none of the songs manage to go anywhere, partly a fault of the original songwriters, but also partially the band's fault for not including enough personality (or, come to think of it, maybe too much personality). The Lady Gaga worship gets out of hand, as "Just Dance" is played a harrowing five (5) times, all different from each other, yet none any better than the others. If you like sped-up pop music with guitars and a mix of harsh and clean vocals, this comes highly recommended.

My verdict? These guys are Triple A musicians! Awful, Annoying, and Abrasive. Avoid at all costs (including donations).