Written by X-Ray Rod on 17.11.2008 at 18:14

Fuck... I didn't get that one xD

The child was already able to be in a band a make a gig after 2 days of lessons, because playing bass is easy

Written by Elio on 17.11.2008 at 18:17

Written by X-Ray Rod on 17.11.2008 at 18:14

Fuck... I didn't get that one xD

The child was already able to be in a band a make a gig after 2 days of lessons, because playing bass is easy

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I get it, htanks

A little dirty but, mehhh...

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Q: What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man have in common?


A: They both get to smell the goods but they can't eat it.

Written by -Soulreaper- on 18.11.2008 at 21:01

A little dirty but, mehhh...

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Q: What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man have in common?


A: They both get to smell the goods but they can't eat it.

Dirty but nice

Written by Elio on 18.11.2008 at 22:59

Written by -Soulreaper- on 18.11.2008 at 21:01

A little dirty but, mehhh...

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Q: What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man have in common?


A: They both get to smell the goods but they can't eat it.

Dirty but nice

jep. good one

Before I make an jokes I need to know, how far can you take your jokes?

Written by [user id=36088] on 27.11.2008 at 06:27

Before I make an jokes I need to know, how far can you take your jokes?

well extremely racist/sexist/discriminatory jokes wouldn't really be advised, but it shouldn't be a problem(just don't act like an extremely racist dude in any other thread)

in other words...

bring'em on!!

Written by -Soulreaper- on 18.11.2008 at 21:01

A little dirty but, mehhh...

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Q: What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery man have in common?

A: They both get to smell the goods but they can't eat it.

Haha, That was nice.

Q: What does the German boy get for Christmas?

A: An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew

Hahah, that was really offensive keep'em coming!

O man... that was brilliant! xD, offensive as hell but good.

Naah, I didn't like it

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"

? the teacher fainted!

Written by Kasper on 28.11.2008 at 17:41

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"

? the teacher fainted!

ahahaha this one was good indeed!

Written by Elio on 28.11.2008 at 19:41

Written by Kasper on 28.11.2008 at 17:41

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"

? the teacher fainted!

ahahaha this one was good indeed!

Yes it was a very good one, but that "the teacher fainted" at the end totally ruined it. A joke always stops being funny when it shows a character's forced reaction to the punchline instead of ending it right there. Up until that I enjoyed the joke.

There was a widow in her sixties thinking she still might have a chance for a serious relationship with a man. So she contacted a local newspaper and asked them to publish her ad in the match section. The ad on the page said "Woman seeking man, aged 60-70, must not hit me, must not chase other ladies, must be good in bed. If you meet these requirements and would be interested in a 60-year-old woman, I'm waiting for you at [this address]."

A few days later the widow heard the doorbell ring and as she opened the door, there was an old man in a wheelchair on the porch looking back at her. She noticed he didn't have any arms or legs and started to hesitate a little, but she gave him a chance anyway so she asked him to promise to never hit her. The man said "I don't have any arms to hit you with." Then she asked him to promise to never cheat on her. The man said "I don't have any legs to chase other ladies with." Then she asked if he really was good in bed. He winked his eye and said "Do you want to know how I rang the doorbell?"

Written by Graveheart on 29.11.2008 at 14:49

Written by Elio on 28.11.2008 at 19:41

Written by Kasper on 28.11.2008 at 17:41

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"

? the teacher fainted!

ahahaha this one was good indeed!

Yes it was a very good one, but that "the teacher fainted" at the end totally ruined it. A joke always stops being funny when it shows a character's forced reaction to the punchline instead of ending it right there. Up until that I enjoyed the joke.

There was a widow in her sixties thinking she still might have a chance for a serious relationship with a man. So she contacted a local newspaper and asked them to publish her ad in the match section. The ad on the page said "Woman seeking man, aged 60-70, must not hit me, must not chase other ladies, must be good in bed. If you meet these requirements and would be interested in a 60-year-old woman, I'm waiting for you at [this address]."

A few days later the widow heard the doorbell ring and as she opened the door, there was an old man in a wheelchair on the porch looking back at her. She noticed he didn't have any arms or legs and started to hesitate a little, but she gave him a chance anyway so she asked him to promise to never hit her. The man said "I don't have any arms to hit you with." Then she asked him to promise to never cheat on her. The man said "I don't have any legs to chase other ladies with." Then she asked if he really was good in bed. He winked his eye and said "Do you want to know how I rang the doorbell?"

hahah, this one was really good!

Q: What's the difference between marmalade and jam?

A: You can't marmalade your cock up your girlfriends arse.

Also got this on a sms the other day - Message from the Obama Govt: All white people to report to cotton fields immediately.

Do you eva get the feeling that your posts are lost in a mass and nobody reads them...

A man sits under the sign "Smoking prohibited" and inhales tobacco smoke from his cigarette. A cop notices it and says "Can't you see the sign above your head?"
"So what? There's "F**K" written on the door of my shed but nevertheless I merely keep wooden logs there."

Written by Ernis on 22.12.2008 at 16:36

A man sits under the sign "Smoking prohibited" and inhales tobacco smoke from his cigarette. A cop notices it and says "Can't you see the sign above your head?"
"So what? There's "F**K" written on the door of my shed but nevertheless I merely keep wooden logs there."

I didn't get that one.

A white guy is in an elevator, going up. A few floors later, a huge black man enters, and while they both go up, the black man looks at him and says "6'11, 290 lbs, 18' dick, 3 lb left nut, 3 lb right nut. Turner Brown!" And the white guy just faints and passes out. After being slapped a few times by the black man, the white guy finally wakes. The black man says "Hey, sorry fella I didn't mean to scare you that's just how I introduce myself, my name's Turner Brown." The white guy says "Oh thank god! I thought you said turn around!!"

Written by Graveheart on 22.12.2008 at 19:19

I didn't get that one.

A man sits under the sign "Smoking prohibited" and inhales tobacco smoke from his cigarette. A cop notices it and says "Can't you see the sign above your head?"
"So what? There's "FUCK" written on the door of my shed but nevertheless I merely keep wooden logs there."

Getting it now?

Either it's just not a funny joke at all or I'm still not getting it.

Written by Graveheart on 22.12.2008 at 19:40

Either it's just not a funny joke at all or I'm still not getting it.

The guy is sitting under a sign "NO SMOKING"

the cop says that if there's the sign "NO SMOKING" then it means that the guy shouldn't be smoking there....

in response the dude says that he will smoke anyway because the fact that there's "FUCK" written onto the door of the shed where he keeps his wood logs doesn't mean that people are fucking inside the shed.

Which means:

NO SMOKING sign does not always mean that people really are not smoking where the sign is situated....

FUCK written on a door or a wall of a building does not necessarily mean that people are certainly fucking inside the building/behind that particular door.....




sorry now...it's seems to me that this explanation itself is another joke of its kind.....I myself got the gist the first time I read it and me schoolmate got it also the first time so....didn't require any background knowledge or stuff.....

Well it seems I also got it the first time, I think, the punchline just never clicked with me. Maybe it's just me but I found it really lame. I'm sorry. But let's move on...

A loud, ugly, obnoxious woman goes to the store with her two ugly children. She yells at the kids and disturbs everybody in the store with her loud screaming voice. A salesman goes to her and tries to calm her down:
- "Good morning, ma'am! You've got two very lovely children there. Are they twins?"
- "Fuck no, what kind of an asshole are you, even a blind motherfucker can see these are no twins! He's four and she's nine! What the fuck makes you think my kids are twins for fuck's sake?!"
- "It's just too hard to believe anybody would fuck you twice."

Hahaha! Really good one!

Written by Graveheart on 23.12.2008 at 01:05

A loud, ugly, obnoxious woman goes to the store with her two ugly children. She yells at the kids and disturbs everybody in the store with her loud screaming voice. A salesman goes to her and tries to calm her down:
- "Good morning, ma'am! You've got two very lovely children there. Are they twins?"
- "Fuck no, what kind of an asshole are you, even a blind motherfucker can see these are no twins! He's four and she's nine! What the fuck makes you think my kids are twins for fuck's sake?!"
- "It's just too hard to believe anybody would fuck you twice."

PNWED!

@Graveheart: That was brutal

OOOO SHIT!!!!!!!!!

Graveyard.. that was just amazing!

These are bad ones but they made me laugh

Q: why didn't sponge bob study architechture?
A: 'cause then he'd be bob the builder

next one...

Q: why isn't sponge bob black?
A: 'cause then he'd be bob marley

A woman is having sex with her husband's best friend. Just a moment after they finish, the phone rings and she answers the phone: "Oh hello, yes, it's very nice of you that you called. Really? I'm so happy for you! Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye bye!" She hangs up and her lover asks who that was on the phone. "That was my husband", she said, "he called me just to tell me he's gone fishing with you right now."