Band:	Hayley's Royal Whores
Album:	Discoteque Tranny
Style:	Hard rock
Release date:	February 15, 2012
A review by:	Doc G.

01. Schnuckel Bea
02. Dead Kitties And The Evil Guillotine
03. I Won't Let You Go
04. Don't Play With Drunken Angels
05. City Of Light
06. Klaipeda
07. Born To Be Trouble
08. Discoteque Tranny
09. Saloon Of Satan

Despite what the names show, Hayley's Royal Whores is not an absolutely terrible gothic/suomi metal act. Sure, it's a little cheesy, and more than a bit fluffy, but not nearly as outrageously embarrassing as one would be led to believe by the song titles and such.

Think of some HIM, The 69 Eyes, maybe a touch or two of Sisters Of Mercy. That's basically the sound. Super melodic, easily digestible, dreamy sort of stuff. One might try to apply the word "brooding" to this album, as there definitely seems to be an attempt to get that sort of atmosphere across from time to time, but as a whole, it's not...

...And that's where the problems start. Look at the names, look at the cover, one would expect a sleazy sort of rock n roll album...but it's not. Defying expectations is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it can generally be incredibly beneficial. Discoteque Tranny however, is almost entirely fluffy ballads. It's a real shame, actually. Everything is performed well, and even one track, "City Of Light" actually rolls pretty nicely. Hell, even 1 or 2 ballads would have been ok, but this is just a bit out of hand. Perhaps transforming these ballads into something dark and brooding would have been a wise direction. Unfortunately, this is so monotonously soft it really can't have much appeal outside 14-year-old Twilight fanatics.

Hayley's Royal Whores are a band which has everything going for them in the performance department, but have created something so constantly sappy it's really difficult to put any praise to.