The Great Commission - Heavy Worship review
| Band: | The Great Commission |
| Album: | Heavy Worship |
| Style: | Heavy metal |
| Release date: | July 12, 2011 |
| A review by: | Doc G. |
01. Don't Go To Church, Be The Church
02. The Walking Dead
03. When It Rains It Pours
04. Draw The Line
05. Preaching To The Choir
06. Weight Of The World
07. The Prodigal Son
08. Road To Damascus
09. The Juggernaut
10. Reap What You Sow
11. Came To My Rescue (Be Lifted High)
6 people? Actually? Does it really take 6 people to make this? I could have made something of equal "quality" on my computer, by myself, plastered, while watching cartoons.
Does anyone actually take this macho hardcore bullshit seriously anymore? You know what I'm talking about; that music that just screams out "I take my shirt off and slap my chest in moshpits, watch too much UFC, and tell war stories about the fights I was never actually in." I doubt this is the intent, seeing as they definitely have some sort of religious inclination, but still manages to put that type of image in your head.
Normally, we're all used to this by now. It's nothing new. It's come to the point where you don't even notice it anymore. So what's so different about The Great Commission? Well, all these silly macho tough guy hardcore groups really don't seem all that bad anymore after listening to this. I mean, it actually almost makes Winds Of Plague sound like an intelligent, respectable band. Once again, this is a band who would be acceptably generic if it wasn't for these completely heinous vocals. I swear these are, once again, some type of joke. Please God...Zeus...Satan, somebody make it stop...
Sweet zombie Jesus! What is this now?! Clean vocals...Cruel, ironic justice. Here I was praying this over-the-top jock would just stick a sock in it for 2 seconds so perhaps I could enjoy one of these flavourless riffs, my prayers are answered with some blatantly auto-tuned whining. Be careful what you wish for, people.
I gotta be completely honest here, I haven't even been able to make it to the end of this album yet. I just can't. The Miley Cyrus kick I've been on lately has been infinitely more stimulating than Heavy Worship. Let's leave them with a 4.1 for not being as terrible as Vampires Everywhere!.
Comments
| cam Posts: 31 |
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| Valentin B Iconoclast Posts: 10094  |
Every time i see a review of yours with a very low score, i prepare for hilariousness haha.
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| Timmeh Dudeman Posts: 344  |
Written by Valentin B on 17.07.2011 at 16:02 Haha, so true. The whole reason I bother reading these low scorers.
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| Slayer666 Posts: 2466  |
Woah, methinks you're being kinda harsh here, Doc. This stuff is generic as all hell, but it's just that: generic. Not really as painfully bad as you make it out to be. Some clean vocal sections are quite catastrophic, though, I agree there.
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Void Eater
Account deleted Written by [user id=109376] on 17.07.2011 at 23:44 She's sitting there, with her long hair, trying to think of something to wear! 
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Lokaeda
Account deleted Written by [user id=111774] on 18.07.2011 at 00:06 she puts on makeuuuuuuuuuuup
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718  |
Written by [user id=111774] on 17.07.2011 at 23:17 Sarcasm?
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718 |
Written by [user id=101272] on 18.07.2011 at 06:58 Hahaha! I was hoping someone would pick up on that/those parts.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Grind Magus Weak Cunt Posts: 111  |
Dude, I love your low-rated album review. I guess there is an upside to the existence of crappy albums in this world.
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| Pyramid God Posts: 184  |
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| Pyramid God Posts: 184 |
The girls I work with watch the ultra lame TV show "Big Brother". The Great Commission is to good brutal music like Big Brother is to good dramatic TV. Its all forced and transparent and is far from moving. I can't get over how bad this music is. I feel sorry for people who like this kind of music as they are really lost sonically.
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| Pyramid God Posts: 184 |
Written by [user id=111774] on 21.07.2011 at 01:00 Impossible. Although I do admit the videos are quite funny for the ironic hilarity of watching a bunch of people trying hard to be cool while at the same time acting like they don't want to be cool while they try hard to act tough but are as tough as my grandma.
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| hadriel Posts: 257  |
Good review, made me laugh. /how the fuck are there so many of these bands?
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| Valentin B Iconoclast Posts: 10094 |
You forgot to mention one of the guitarists is a girl. Also, the shouts remind me of Nanowar - Stormlord of Power. 
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