Band:	Dangerous Toys
Album:	Hellacious Acres
Style:	Glam metal
Release date:	1991
A review by:	omne metallum

01. Gunfighter
02. Gimme' No Lip
03. Stick And Stones
04. Best Of Friends
05. On Top
06. Sugar, Leather And The Nail
07. Angel N U
08. Feel Like Makin' Love
09. Line 'Em Up
10. Gypsy (Black-N-Blue Valentine)
11. Bad Guy

You.are.a.toy!

You'd think an album featuring former Watchtower vocalist Jason McMaster and produced by Roy Thomas Baker would pretty much come with a seal of quality slapped on the front of it. Alas, there is a reason these seals of quality don't exist and why, if there was ever to be one, Hellacious Acres would not have one as pride of place. The sophomore release by Dangerous Toys is an album that would soon be overshadowed by the burgeoning Seattle scene, something that would come as a mercy killing for the band rather than the cold blooded murder oft portrayed in music history.

Humour in metal is something of a rarity; rarer still is good comedic metal music, and while Dangerous Toys don't devote their music solely to reel off some jokes, their off-kilter lyrics walk the fine line between under- and overdoing it. While I don't like Hellacious Acres (spoiler alert), it's not for the comedy aspect, but rather it doesn't offer anything else, or anything others haven't done better.

After hearing "Stick And Stones", you will understand how grunge was able to kill off glam in near enough one fell swoop. While the lyrics are meant to be a parody, it perhaps cuts closer to the bone than the band had intended, with the joke not being the obsurdness of the song, but rather how bland glam had become; Hellacious Acres ends up being a parody in and of itself, though not in the way the band had intended. The ingenuity and spark on the album is glaring in its absence, leaving tracks like "On Top" to wilt as a result.

Baker's resume is something that speaks for itself, taking in some of the biggest albums of the last thirty years. Though he had worked in the glam genre prior, he is a poor fit on this album. The production is very dry and narrow, leaving the music to feel thin and lifeless as a result. Take "Gunslinger" as an example: for a band trying to burst out of the gates, it lacks any punch or power, particularly during the solo, where if you don't focus solely on the lead guitar, the song sounds wafer thin. This multiplies the problems the songs already have, presenting them in a bad light and hindering any positives they may have had.

With that said, Dangerous Toys do have talent in their midst, with Danny Aaron throwing out some good blues licks on "Angel N U", while "Line 'Em Up" has an entertaining Aerosmith swagger. McMaster is doing the best with what he has at his disposal, giving the tracks a level of energy that is otherwise lacking, though he still isn't able to breathe life into some of the songs. The likes of "Gypsy (Black-N-Blue Valentine)" come close to feeling vibrant, but fall just short thanks to the production.

Perhaps grunge did glam a favour.