Hey you dickhole
She was flirting with me
Hey you fuckface
I just bought her a drink

Here you swoop in while I'm taking a leak
Ruining the evening
She was the one, now you've won at douchebaggery

I can't figure out
If you are an overprotective brother
A friend in the friend zone
Or a dumbass bitter ex lover

I really don't have time for this
And now you stand in my way
I got a feeling now you're here, that you're here to stay
(One, two, fuck you)

You're cockblock
Ruining my game
You're a cockblock
Pathetic and lame

Hey you dumb bitch
Can't you leave us alone
What's your problem
Can't you throw me a bone

Staring at me like I'm Satan himself
Trying to steal her soul
Go get a drink and take a break from fun patrol

I can't figure out
If you're an overprotective sister
A jealous best friend
Or a lesbian wanting to kiss her

I really don't have time for this
And now you stand in my way
Can't take hint to take a hike, so you're here to stay
(One, two, fuck you)

You're a cockblock
Ruining my game
You're a cockblock
Pathetic and lame
You're a cockblock
That's what you do
You're a cockblock
Obstructing the poon

Don't you have something better to do
(Go away I'm trying to get laid)
Don't you have something better to do
(Go away I'm trying to get laid)
(You, fu-cking)

Congratulations
You're an asshole
I hope you're happy
'Cause you're an asshole

You ruined the whole night
You're an asshole
Why don't you eat shit and die
'Cause you're an asshole

Cockblock
Cockblock

Girl, you look so good to me tonight. I feel that, well, you make me all emotional and emotional like. Yeah. Let me just blast you with some affection

Girl, I wanna hold your hand with you
Girl, I wanna put my mouth on you
Girl, I wanna be with you, with you
Girl, I wanna do romance with you

Yeah yeah yeah baby
Do romance with you

Girl, come and play D&D with me
Girl, go to the DMV with me
Girl, come rub a fish all over me
Girl, I'll take your picture while you pee

Yeah yeah yeah baby
Picture while you pee
Woa woa woa honey
Picture while you poo

Makin' love in a car
Makin' love behind the bar
Makin' love at the mall
Makin' love in a bathroom stall

Girl, I wanna take a walk with you
Girl, I wanna play Xbox with you
Girl, I wanna get on you, with you
Girl, I wanna make some stew with you

Yeah yeah yeah baby
Make some stew with you
Woa woa woa honey
Come make some stew with me

Makin' love in a tree
Makin' love on a boat
Makin' love at the park
Makin' love in a parkin' lot

I wanna wrap you up like a bean burrito
I wanna get you naked and watch Speed 2 (cruise control)
You make me feel like a million waffles (waffles)
You make me feel really good

Ya know there ain't nothing like your muffins
Yeah, I wanna take you on a beer run
I wanna be like, "BRBRBRB" in your boobies
I wanna do you in the cornhole

Oh baby I'd do anything just to kiss your vagina

Girl, you made a casserole for me
Girl, I wanna watch TV with you
Girl, come go to check the mail with me
Girl, I'm stuck with you with me with you

I wanna get an iPhone app (iPhone, iPhone, iPhone)
I wanna get an iPhone app (iPhone, iPhone, iPhone)

I wanna get an iPhone app
That will help me out with remembering names
I wanna get an iPhone app
That will get me a job making video games

I want it, I need it, go make it
I want it, I need it, where is it

I wanna have an app that calls in sick for me
I want an app that will give me iPhone apps for free

My brain should be connected directly
Downloading books and learning stuff while I sleep

I wanna get an iPhone app
That will cook me a steak make it medium rare
I wanna get an iPhone app
That will brush my teeth, and cut my hair

I want it, I need it, go make it
I want it, I need it, where is it

I want an app that will come and bail me out of jail
I want an app that will find and bring hot chicks to nail

When will they make an application
That makes peace between every nation
While it's ending world hunger
At the same time it's finding a cure for cancer

Well, what are you waiting for? Get on it!
What do you mean, that's impossible? Nothing's impossible!
I think somebody could use a little work on their attitude

Why can't I get an iPhone app that will live my life for me
Why can't I get an app that will grant me immortality

I want an app that will let me update Facebook (there is)
Oh well, then I want an app that will let me check my email (that comes with the phone)
I want an app that will tell Josh he should go to hell (dude, not cool)
I want an app that will finish out the song for me
'Cause I'm out of here
(Okay, bye. Jerk.)