Between the cosmic wake of a thousand solar nightmares... Chaos will reign eternal!

Regis Dundoniensis
Furor Apocalyptus
Magus Calamitosus

Bellis Intergalactus
Regis Dundoniensis
Furor Apocalyptus
Magus Calamitosus
Bellis Intergalactus

Ancient cosmic wormhole
Chaos lord arise

I have arrived from the future
Into a terrible past
Chaos and war on the plains of Dunkeld
The armies of darkness amassed
Is this a twisted dimension?
Is this true reality?
A symbol of evil is flying once more
Above the proud spires of Dundee

A burning black sun
The siege of Dunkeld has begun
Defeat of the ancient town is nigh
In Hoots We Trust

Horrifying fecal demons
Rising up out of the caverns below
Dark robotic astral zombies
Eating the peasants who live in Glasgow
Siege engines of hell's creation
Blasting the walls with unholy fire
Undead forces marching onward
Army of evil so tragic and dire

Look up to the sky
A glorious battlecry
The forces of justice call his name

In Hoots We Trust
We Trust
By the power of the Holy King of Unst
Hail Hoots
For the Glory of Dundee
To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free
Confutatis Maledictis Caledoniae
In Hoots We Trust

I am the Bane of Cowdenbeath
The Scourge of Auchtermuchty
Arch-Foe of the Questlords of Inverness
Come face me in battle, Angus
And prepare to meet thy doom!

Your dark dominion has corrupted Dundee
With a swing of my hammer I'll end this misery

Legendary battle
Epic war is fight

What mystic enchantment has Zargothrax spun?
My weapon has no effect, this fight can't be won

Pathetic mortal scum!
In this dimension, your hammer has no power over me
Now, kneel before your Emperor
Kneel before... Your God!

In Hoots We Trust
We Trust
By the power of the Holy King of Unst
Hail Hoots
For the Glory of Dundee
To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free
In Hoots We Trust
By the power of the Holy King of Unst
For the Glory of Dundee
To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free
In Hoots We Trust

In Hoots We Trust
We Trust
By the power of the Holy King of Unst
Hail Hoots
For the Glory of Dundee
To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free
In Hoots We Trust
By the power of the Holy King of Unst
For the Glory of Dundee
To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free
In Hoots We Trust

Far to the East, an army of evil is rising
Deathknights of Crail
Under the spell of sorcerer's twisted design
To darkness we hail
With their blades of black fire they enslave the land
Obeying their master's will
The force of their terror no mortal can stand
Knights of evil, kill

Long ago in the distant future, they were a force for the light
But now in the ancient times, they slaughter peasants by night

We are the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
On a quest for all eternity
We're the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
Knights of Evil, arise

Leading the charge is the mightiest scion of evil
Mighty indeed
Proletius his name, grandmaster of death and decay
Worship or bleed
In another dimension he fought for the king
And the glory of all Dundee
Now corrupted by darkness he kills everything
Mwah ha ha ha

Stabbed through the heart with the Knife of Evil, it infected his brain
Anti-Telharsic power now flowing through his veins

We are the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
On a quest that's never ending
We're the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
Knights of Evil, arise

Grand Master Proletius! Dispatch your Knights of Evil to slaughter more peasants in Auchtermuchty!
As you command, Lord Zargothrax. Deathknights of Crail...
To battle!

We are the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
On a quest for all eternity
We're the Masters of the Galaxy
We're the Lords of Space Dundee
The destroyers of reality
Knights of Evil, arise

I have arrived, in a world ruled by chaos and evil
Darkness enfolds the land that I once called my home
Lost in the realm of an ancient and powerful wizard
Now I must quest to take back the Crystalline Throne

Legends speak of a glen
Where truth and justice still reign

Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay
Over mountains into the unknown
Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark
To the Land of Unicorns

Follow the path, laid down by the forces of justice
Over the stones, and into the mountains of fire
Fighting with trolls, and undead defenders of chaos
Onwards I ride, in search of the land I desire

Descend out of the mists
The valley of Achnasheen

Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay
Over mountains into the unknown
Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark
To the Land of Unicorns

The mists are clearing now
I see the realm before my eyes
Ralathor the warrior greets me to the mystic land
The Land of Unicorns

Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay
Over mountains into the unknown
Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark
To the Land of Unicorns

Remember the days long ago, when we fought side by side for the glory
Battling foes of Dundee in a war in the sky
Now in this valley we hide, the last hope in this desperate story
Onwards into the unknown you must quest forever

In an alternate dimension
Under spell of evil warlock
There's no chance to return to our home

Now we're far away, lost in a different reality
Slaying dragons
Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife
We are Warriors
Wielding the Hammer so glorious
Fighting with the power of the Laser Dragon Fire

I have discovered a scroll, telling tales of equipment for wizard
A jetpack of ultimate steel with the power to fly
It lies in a cave to the north guarded by unholy creatures
But if your quest is to fail we'll all die together

With the boost of mighty jetpack
Into outer space you can arise
And find your destiny once more

Now we're far away, lost in a different reality
Slaying dragons
Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife
We are Warriors
Wielding the Hammer so glorious
Fighting with the power of the Laser Dragon Fire

Ride forth, mighty warrior, beyond the crystalline gates of the Land of Unicorns, into the great plaguelands of Caithness...there you must seek your true destiny. Many perils await you on your journey, but victorious you will return with the power to defeat Zargothrax for all eternity!

Remember the heroes
Who died in the war of Space Dundee
Now lost in another galaxy

Far away, lost in a different reality
One more final battle to save the Kingdom of Fife

Far away, lost in a different reality
Slaying dragons
Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife
We are Warriors
Wielding the Hammer so glorious
Fighting with the power of the
Ancient holy tragic raging Laser Dragon Fire

Quest for Fife to end pain and strife
In search of the enchanted engine!
Far and wide, I roam through Speyside
Into the deepest dark dungeon

There it waits, behind golden gates
Sealed in a chest made of diamonds
Heart pure as steel I must reveal
To hold artifact in my hands

A gleam of steam surrounds the machine of might

And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Over Cowdenbeath
Across an endless horizon (whoah oh)
Fly forever free
Below me I can see the world so far away
And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee
On a jetpack made of cosmic steel

Run for your life! The cave now is rife
With laser trolls' sudden appearing
Wizard must know where I was to go
Though he sent his hordes I'm not fearing

Battle is fight with beams of black light
Clashing with my mighty hammer
The evil troll shoots, lacking power of hoots
Never they will prevail

There is a goblin in the castle...take heed!

And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Over Cowdenbeath
Across an endless horizon (whoah oh)
Fly forever free
Below me I can see the world so far away
And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee
On a jetpack made of cosmic steel

Now it's time to
Fly away, starborn defender
To realms beyond space I soar
Clouds beneath and stars lie before me
No return forevermore, so
Hail to you, all that I've known here
With speed of light I'm to rise
Heavenwards, wielding the hammer
Riding on the astral fire far beyond the sky

And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Over Cowdenbeath
Across an endless horizon (whoah oh)
Fly forever free
Below me I can see the world so far away
And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh)
Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee
On a jetpack made of cosmic steel

Galaxies swarming behind me
Nebulas lying ahead
This can only mean
That I have arrived into space, oh yeah
I feel the astral fire burning
It's blazing deep inside of me
It burns for the steel, my steel

Fly high into space to charge my
Laser Powered Goblin Smasher
With the force of solar fusion
Flowing through my veins
My steel will blow you away
Fighting mega battles every day

Glory! Hammer!
Wielding steel that is true
Glory! Hammer!
Since 1992
Glory! Hammer!
For the King of Dundee, my destiny
Glory! Hammer!

My hammer will not surrender
It fights until I'm to die
Now time has come
To regain its powerful might, once more
Celestial light of new dimension
Fill my maul with glory
For all that is real, yeah

Fly high into space to wield my
Thunder Striking Wizard Thrasher
The dawn of another reality
Reinvigorates
My steel will blow you away
Fighting mega battles every day

Glory! Hammer!
Wielding steel that is true
Glory! Hammer!
Since 1992
Glory! Hammer!
For the King of Dundee, my destiny
Glory! Hammer!

Forged by ancient Gods of warfare
Wrought of lasers from the sun
Now suffused with astral fire
It is the time for battle
Every knee will bow before me
Every goblin king will fall
Now the time has come to
Regain our fallen pride once more

Fly high into space to raise my
Heavy Metal Darklord Crasher
With the stars of this universe now
Lying in my hands
My steel will blow you away
Mighty prince with a licence to slay
Fighting mega battles every day

Glory! Hammer!
Wielding steel that is true
Glory! Hammer!
Since 1992
Glory! Hammer!
For the King of Dundee, my destiny
Glory! Hammer!

It is my destiny
To rule the Galaxy
I am the one
The chosen son
Glory! Hammer!

Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring
Fight for the ancient story
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory

All across the land of Fife, grim chaos reigns supreme
Shackled by the mind control of the dark lord of Dundee
Yet still there lies the chance of hope now Angus has returned
The sigil of the Hootsforce in the sky tonight will burn

Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring
Fight for the ancient story
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory
Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky
Fight all the foes before thee
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory
Hootsforce arise

Hootsforce!
We are the Hootsforce!
Hootsforce!
We are the Hootsforce!

Forces of resistance, it is time to make a stand
No longer will Lord Zargothrax enslave our ancient land
Sub Commander Ralathor, engage your nuclear force
The battlefield of Cowdenbeath is where we'll set our course

In a submarine
Beneath the seas
Of Achnasheen
We remain unseen
But now the time
Has come to rise
Ascend into the skies
HOOTS FORCE

Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring
Fight for the ancient story
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory
Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky
Fight all the foes before thee
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory

Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky
Fight all the foes before thee
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory

Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring
Fight for the ancient story
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory
Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky
Fight all the foes before thee
Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife
For the power and the glory
Hootsforce arise

Hootsforce!
We are the Hootsforce!
Hootsforce!
We are the Hootsforce!

Have you ever seen the galaxy ablaze
Have you ever fought a wizard face to face
Have you ever watched the Kingdom turn to dust
As a unicorn devours with its lust

I have seen many worlds
And travelled through time
But nothing prepares
For ultimate fight

I am the final defender
The last hope for this galaxy
Dundee will arise, from evil demise
I'm the one with the power to win
The Battle for Eternity

Have you ever killed a goblin on the moon
Have you ever rode an eagle to its doom
Have you ever seen the spires of proud Dundee
Burning with the fire of destiny

The Kingdom of Fife
Will never to die
Raise up your hammer
And scream to the sky

I am the final defender
The last hope for this galaxy
Dundee will arise, from evil demise
I'm the one with the power to win
The Battle for Eternity

I am the final defender

I am the final defender
The last hope for this galaxy
Dundee will arise, from evil demise
I'm the one with the power to win
The Battle for Eternity

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
Great sacrifice

Magnificent vessel appears in the sky
The Hootsforce arrives into Cowdenbeath
Prepare for the warfare of ultimate destiny

Into the battle the heroes make fight
Fast as Dundonian lightning they strike
The armies of evil will die on the field
They'll die by our steel

And the battlefield of Cowdenbeath fell silent, as the black gates of the fortress of Crail opened wide. Atop a horde of undead eagles, the grim armies of the Deathknights of Crail rode out to meet the forces of justice. And at the vanguard of this terrible host stood the Grandmaster himself...Dreadlord Proletius!

From the black gate evil deathknights attack
Proletius is leading the chaos charge
Slaughtering peasants with deadly impunity

Ralathor fires his final defence
Missiles of nuclear justice
The deathknights are suddenly vaporized
Proletius dies

For the King of Space
We will fight to end disgrace
In our once proud land
We will make our stand
When the dark lord comes
We will shoot our laser guns
For the glory of mighty Dundee

Mwah ha ha ha! Such a pathetic display of valor! You are naught but insignificant worms before the infinite power of Zargothrax! Now...the solar conjunction is at hand...my ascension to godhood is inevitable! And there is NOTHING you can do to stop me! Worship my omnipotence!


From the Heavens
Comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati
Latinae
Canentis
Hootus Dei


With a flash of thunder
A god falls from the sky
With holy armor made from wolf
The Hootsman has arrived

Side by side with Angus
The warriors make fight
Hootsman fires a laser blast
Shoots goblins out of sight

From the Heavens
Comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati
Latinae
Canentis
Hootus Dei

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Hootsman has arrived

Alllriiiight Zargothrax! Your evil reign of terror ends today! My name is the Hootsman, and I am the one and only true god of this universe! It's time for you to taste the power of HOOTS!

With the force of the hammer
And the power of Hoots
The forces of justice attack
Bringing destruction to Zargothrax
The wizard defeated
Dissolves into dust
The Kingdom of Fife has been saved
The legendary Angus McFife has triumphed this day

And lo, Zargothrax was finally defeated. But in the epic final struggle with the dark sorcerer, the valiant hero Angus McFife realised he had been impaled by the Knife of Evil. As he watched the lifeless corpse of Zargothrax dissolve into liquid dust, Angus knew that soon he himself would be corrupted by the dark power of that cursed blade. And so he resolved that he must make the final sacrifice for the Glory of Dundee...he would end his own life by descending into the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion!

Goodbye
My time has come to die
This is the end
I must say farewell
Descend in to hell

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Prince of Fife must Die

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Prince of Fife must Die
To save the galaxy
It is your mighty destiny
Brave Angus McFife

INITIATING INTERDIMENSONAL SUBSPACE RELAY
TARGET YEAR 1022. BEGIN TRANSMISSION
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TRANSMISSION COMPLETE