Cara Neir
01. I Hate Black Metal... Or Frostbytten And Bvtthurt
02. Doesn't Matter What You Call Yourself, You're Always Gonna Be A Nazi (Just Say No To NSBM)
03. How To Get Signed
04. Social Media Death Metal
05. I'm Pretty Cool Myself
06. Jump The Heck Up
07. Super Unorthodox Backwoods Coffee Club Revival
08. Skimpy Solomon Fartfingers

Infernal Legions Of Mordor
09. Introduction: Gathering Around The Light Of The Fire As The Unearthly And Benevolent Spirits Of The Forest Join Us In This Magik Night
10. My Elf Ears Melted In My Car
11. Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art
12. At The Risk Of Taking A Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is A Very Bad Band
13. Getting Frostbite During The Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos
14. Don't Tempt Me Frodo!
15. Awaken Me When The Time Is Appropriate To Listen To Type O Negative
16. Venom Enema
17. The Frozen One Awaits
18. Beefcakes Without Borders
19. Nothing More Punk Than A Fast, Casual Italian Eatery
20. The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered In The Tongues Of The Old Ones By My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry
21. Mamma's Selling A Line 6
22. Professor Snape, The World's Favorite Incel
23. The Gate Of No Return
24. The Noise Gate Of No Return
25. My Former Life As A Poser
26. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
27. Diesel Boner
28. Really, How Long Does It Take To Test A Fucking Compression Pedal??
29. Tormented And Coerced Into Performing A Live Ritual By An Eldritch Forest Spirit, A Pair Of Ghouls And A Weeb
30. How Can I Be Punk When I Have A Severe Skin Allergy To Nickel
31. Freebasing Cringe
32. I Wish My Life Had More Of A Thulean Perspective
33. Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning In Hell
34. Catfishing Viper
35. Cognitive Ball Therapy
36. Researching The Legality Of Cannibalism
37. Entering And Leaving The Garage Waiting For The Random Encounter Peavey To Spawn
38. Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City
39. Cursed To Listen To Untold Hours Of King Crimson In The Lair Of Count Progula
40. Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, "You Ever Heard Behemoth?"
41. Buying A Gun From The Drummer Of Savatage
42. Having A Random Encounter With Lord Wurm In Recycled, To Have Him Babble Something Insane And Give You An S Rank Quest
43. Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)
44. Okay Give Me That Guitar It's Too Cool For You, You Play Psych Rock In 2021
45. Wolves In The Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Pt. 2)
46. Being A Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning The Cum Out Of The Grooves On Your Meat Shits Records
47. The Worst Part Of Being An NSBM Fan (Other Than, Y'know Being Racist) Is Having To Pretend That Absurd Is A Good Band
48. Like A Macabre Rail Of Silly String A Footlong Cord Of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus
49. And On That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size
50. Punishing EDM Kids With Neil Young
51. Becoming A Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled
52. You'll Cowards Won't Even Play In Standard Tuning
53. Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How Dare They Play An Open E)
54. Ancient Sword Of The Meth King
55. I'm Going To Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, And I Will Win
56. Successfully Cyberbullied A Child
57. Save A Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker
58. Do You Believe In Magick (Spelled With A "K")?
59. Aerosmith By Choice
60. Another Wampyric And Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like The Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On
61. That Mountain Goats Song About A Death Metal Band Wasn't About Kombat
62. Jackhammer Dildo
63. Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me A Desirable Person And Fun To Talk To At Parties
64. An Onslaught Of Rotting Monkeys
65. Giving My Album Art The Color Palette Of Black, White And Red So We All Know Its Blasphemy Worship (What The Goat Wasn't Enough Of A Giveaway?)
66. Wretched Crotchspawn Of A Belligerent Oogle
67. Larry Is Bald
68. Cum Ghost
69. The House That Beef Built
70. Time To Start Bullying NFT Artists
71. Critical Race Theory In Power Electronics
72. A Snake With A Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole
73. I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries
74. A Group Of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred To As A "Pawn Shop"
75. Honor Guard Of Black Kittens Guide Me As I Carry This Pile Of Bones Home
76. If You Feel Your Rectum Begin To Leak Feel Free To Challenge Me To A Battle Of Intellects On Facebook
77. Eno-Pilled