Band:	Manowar
Album:	Kings Of Metal MMXIV
Style:	Heavy metal, US power metal
Release date:	February 28, 2014
A review by:	ScreamingSteelUS

Disc I
01. Hail And Kill MMXIV
02. Kings Of Metal MMXIV
03. The Heart Of Steel MMXIV [Acoustic Intro version]
04. A Warrior's Prayer MMXIV
05. The Blood Of The Kings MMXIV
06. Thy Kingdom Come MMXIV
07. The Sting Of The Bumblebee MMXIV
08. Thy Crown And Thy Ring MMXIV [Orchestral version]
09. On Wheels Of Fire MMXIV
10. Thy Crown and Thy Ring MMXIV [Metal version] [bonus]
11. The Heart Of Steel MMXIV [Instrumental] [bonus]

Disc II
01. Hail And Kill MMXIV [Instrumental version]
02. Kings Of Metal MMXIV [Instrumental version]
03. The Heart Of Steel MMXIV [Orchestral Intro version] [Instrumental version]
04. The Blood Of The Kings MMXIV [Instrumental version]
05. Thy Kingdom Come MMXIV [Instrumental version]
06. Thy Crown and Thy Ring MMXIV [Orchestral version] [Instrumental version]
07. On Wheels Of Fire MMXIV [Instrumental version]

I'll level with you guys. I wrote a review for Kings Of Metal MMXIV back in November 2013, based purely on the Battle Hymns MMXI abomination and the seconds-long clip of the "Kingdom Come" vocal track. I knew exactly what this would sound like; I was only waiting for the album's release to confirm my suspicions. Well, you know what? It's WORSE.

I can't believe this. Manowar actually failed to meet my pessimistic expectations. I had to rewrite my review. If you thought that Battle Hymns MMXI was grossly unnecessary and disgraceful, just wait until you get your hands on this glorious garbage. I have said some unkind things about Manowar in the past, and of my four previous reviews I can't say that any of them was particularly positive. Despite this evidence to the contrary, Manowar is one of my favorite bands. The original Kings Of Metal is one of the oldest metal albums in my collection. But they do this to us, time and time again - honestly, what in the fast-taking, world-fighting, warriors-of-the-world-uniting hell is this supposed to prove?

Eric Adams, without a doubt, sings unbelievably well for a 61-year-old, and I respect his voice an awful lot. But no one - not Dio, not Lemmy, not Rob Halford - sings as well at 61 as they did at 36. He can still pack a punch, but placing his current self in direct comparison with his younger self does nothing but highlight the deleterious effects of the years. Meanwhile, the absence of Ross the Boss and the late, great Scott Columbus are all too conspicuous. This album is a mere imitation of Manowar; nothing more.

I'm in shock. I never thought that the original "Sting Of The Bumblebee" would sound good, or even listenable, compared to something else? I also never thought that I would call "The Warrior's Prayer" the highlight of anything. Never mind that between Orson Welles, Sir Christopher Lee, and now Brian Blessed, Manowar have impeccable taste in narrators (I expect Jim Dale for the inevitable Triumph Of Steel MMXVII). Forget about that, because I'm wondering why the acoustic guitars sound just as flaky, wavering, and poorly-produced as they did on Manowar's 1981 demo, and what these horrific things in place of Ross's solos are supposed to be. In fact, the production is pretty terrible all-around, even for a Manowar album; perhaps not as bad as The Lord Of Steel, but bad enough.

In its best (though still mediocre) moments, such as the surprisingly passable "Hail And Kill," Kings Of Metal MMXIV is merely a duller and superfluous carbon copy of the original album. Most of the time, however, it manages to thoroughly kill the spirit and energy contained in the original songs - so close to the original that you wonder why they bothered, but still noticeably inferior. This is stiff, rheumatic, and never improves on the music; it is always either the same or worse. This "update," "rehashing," "royalty consolidation scheme" - whatever you want to call it - is a disgrace, and a fine example of everything we should despise about 21st-century Manowar.