Sometimes I need the fuel I drain from you
That lasting dose turns cold and blue
I've died before so many times
In time reborn, in time I'll find

That everlasting glow that blinds my view
My apathy turns thru and thru
This war inside has drained my will
Those things I've done were overkill

I've felt the pain of a brutal war
I feel the pain of a lasting war

Don't be the slave
Don't let your weakness show
To build a mountain takes a long, long time
Use what you've learned like a catapult
And load the cannon when you need to fire

I know the way you feel
It's time to take the step

Don't walk away
Don't let your weakness show
It's such a journey to the promised land
When you arrive learn to take control
And do your living by your own command

Behind this fear new life awaits
In awe you stand to break the stone that's crushing you
You taste it now

I've seen you drown
Thru the ashes I've watched you burn

You hate that smell
You love the high that it brings to you
Now walk that line and learn the way to end it all

your backbone is shaking the pounding and aching are real
It drives you back down into the blackness
The cold ugly blackness you feel
it's all coming unglued

No more white line fever - no more counting change
Eternal slumber calling me
Awakening a bold new rage

Buried in the bottle - lost what I was thinking
A decade plus of hard abuse
A lonely man left weak and sinking

The truth won't always shine on you

Hapiness ain't money - happiness ain't greed
Have the strength to dig the hole
And have the balls to plant the seed

You lead me nowhere
You hide the truth
Destroyed by something real
Still you come to me

I'll carry all your pain
Believe in my words
They'll carry all your pain

My walls are coming down
Yours long ago
The threat of something real
Has you calling me

You took the hard road this time
Now keep it clean
Look what indulgence cost you
Look where you've been
Still caged in isolation
Still counting days
Your mind was gone for so long
That blackened haze

Just know the world is going to give you nothing

Those years of innocence lost
The time is gone
Beneath the yearning hunger
Lies a new dawn

Turn my vision to the black night sky
Losing focus and I don't know why
Empty bottle and a razor blade
No use cleaning up the mess I made

Suicide

Save your speeches cause I've done my time
Unborn fantasy that drills my mind
Feel my energy it pours from me
One light far away is all I see

All that I loved
Forever gone below the earth
Centuries can't heal all my wounds or kill that hurt

These things make you become a man

Frozen in time my body aches with all I do
Fracturing bones, lashing at skin until I'm through

These things make you become a man

Let go of the love you lost
Suffering won't set you free
Knowledge comes from what you see and do
Just take the pain and grow and grow

Holes in my skull from which I bleed, I bleed for you
Fracturing bones, lashing at skin until I'm through

It's happening leaves me with no hope
Beaten down
Penniless and suffering for real
I need that alcohol I need

It never ends
Left me powerless
Driven down
Tell my why I'm so fucked
It's hard to want that fix so hard

Nothing can kill this fear

I've tried to hide
Hide from so many things
At times I've lied to myself

I've built a room
I can't see anything
An empty room

I'm breaking out

There is no door
No sunlight coming in
Just concrete walls and loneliness

Footsteps of doom
I hear alone at night
This empty room

I'm breaking out

Now I'm on my way