Passiv introverted apathy
Wordless in painful misery
The denial of Birth and time
Longing for the time before mine
Unable to exist without repression
I am the Spring of my Depression

Oblivious - no world is mine
Discouragement - my lamenting Sign
Dwelling disgraceful in morbid emptiness
The everlasting curse of consciousness

Universe of blind Instincts
Uncontrolled emotions, unbridled passions
Orgasmic, Dionysian dizziness
Illusions - phantoms of wretched weakness

The godless Prayer that radiates the end
Save me from all Hours - Death obsessed
Beneath the Dead, those careless Skulls
The demand of the flesh, the high-spirited blood
Everything turns to dust
Withers away - my mortal remains, my lust

Shivering before the abyss all alone
One thousand awful figures have passed by
Filled with woe my dejected soul
Trapped between the certain anguish of Life
And the unknown Horror of Eternity
Dwelling too infirm and weak
For my End so disheartenly deep

Long hearses silently pass by within my Soul
Inescapably Lost, defeated Hope weeps
Impatiently expecting the catastrophe
Nihilistic mood, existential vacuum
Inevitable Grief and Lamentation
Infinite weariness, depressed Resignation

Habitual Continuation of this absurdity
Futility of Suffering, senselessness of occupation
Striving for the relieving Oblivion
The Absurd feeling requires my Death
Its wretched nakedness, its dull light
I'll always be foreign to myself

Returning to the ruins of my failure
To mourn the loss of Naivety
I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
The solemn colour of my fucking Life
I never had a choice, I've always been falling
...about suicide and the answer

The deadly way out reveals the truest cruelty
And isolates me from reality,
But I'm asking myself: what is reality: a dream?
Everytime I reach this point, I remember dreams that will never be reality.
Taking a bath in razors, entices me as a solution for my endless grief.

The decision draws nearer.

On a transparent way, I float much more away, without any sight.
Am I blind, or am I still alive?
And once again, I only sense the purest absence.
A wound like this, cannot be healed anymore.

I will decide, for the last time.

The courage I've lost long ago - for I'll never feel happiness anew.
In emotions of solitude, the non-presence is my home.my grave.
When the pulse no longer throbs and the last drop of life left my veins,
I become forever paralysed, by this ultimate.Cold Void

All the colours bid farewell, the contours as well.during my sleep.
With the sunset it will return creeping.
Nothingness, as far, as every eye has reached,
Is all I see, as I re-awake at the solstice.

All the buried stars I've left behind,
Built my shape of existence - like never to be there.
The gaping emptiness, surrounded by its despairing silence,
Awaits me in an unanimated room, full of neverending delusions.

No light, is my delight.

Damned, for being imprisoned in deepest black.
Unable to escape from the deluge of sorrow - like onward to the gallows.
This petrified atmosphere, could be the sign for the final end.
.By facing the mirror of total death.

To be constantly followed, through this bitter loneliness without feelings,
I'm fruitlessly searching, for something that releases me.
Sadness is spreading again, but not only while dusk.
.And so the anguish continues.

Dead - the only way I can live.

The mood went weaker and weaker,'til it conclusively died.
Eternal pain leads me on my path to salvation.
No fear for blood, when the inner decay announces,
That I won't exist any longer.