-[sigh] Hey guys, ok seriously, we gotta come up with an ablum title here.

-I got one, I got one, how about, The Flesh Eating Rollerskate

-Hahahaha, oh man. No, no.

-Well what about, I Am Staring....At YOU

-No, just, I Am Staring

-No no no no no no no, here you go, If You Add Water, Nothing Will Happen!
[giggle]
Get it?

-How about we call it, I'm Going To Kill You Guys!

-Sorry man. That's not very funny.

-Well it's hard to be funny when Robbie's over here playing with himself!

In a crowd
With no escape
is when I feel
My privates wake!

Got to find
some privacy
or they will see
me scratching me!

[CHORUS]
My balls itch!
They're itching, I gotta scratch 'em
Way down low!
My balls are a ball of fire
My balls itch!
They're itching, I gotta scratch 'em
Way down low!
My balls are a ball of fire

Irritation
Toleration
Scrotum itching
Leaves me bitching

Can't endure this
Epidermis
Scrotum itching
Leave me buh...

Tension builds
There's got to be
a way to end
my agony
pockets deep
where no one sees
I find the keys
to my relief!

My car is a piece of shit!
I wanna drive you off a cliff
Watch you crash into a ravine
For the things you did to me, you...

Stupid car!
I wanna make myself a pipe bomb
Blow your damn engine back to hell
Where I know you're from.

Piece of crap!
You aren't even worth the tow
To a junkyard or a place
Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...

Wish you'd die!
Oh nevermind, you always do.
Could you tell me how much longer it will be
Until I'm rid of you?

I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something)
My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy
I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon
So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!

You leak more than a newborn baby
I change you oil all the time but still you need some more
Your fluid puddles come in assorted colors
Such wonderful variety of problems galore

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering?

Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (die!)
Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (die!)
Stupid fucking car, stupid fucking car (die!)

My car is a piece of shit!
I ought to give you a swift kick
In the muffler, in the tire
Or where ever I desire you...

Stupid car!
You never get me very far when
You decide driving to the store is a mortal sin

Piece of crap!
I guess you want a piece of me
Since you're leaving all your pieces
In the middle of the street

You heap of junk!
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I just hope that I don't have to take another day of driving you

I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)
The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me
Your miles are approaching seven digits
May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the key

I'm guess I'm just a little angry
But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.
You probably think I'm slightly overreacting
Has your car ever made you think about suicide?

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the torment?

Will there be a time
Where I know I can drive
Without my car breaking down?

And will I ever see
It start consist...(what the?)

(Car starting) Come on...
(Car starting) Gimme a break!
(Car starts running for a moment) Ah?
(Car breaks) All right! Piece of shit!
(Smashing noises) die!
(Smashing noises) die!

Stupid car...

[Narrator:] What would you do for a Death Burger?!

[Drive-Thru:] Hi, welcome to Sonic! Can I take your order please?
[Customer 1:] Yes! I would like a... Death Burger.
[Drive-Thru:] W-what do you want?
[Customer 1:] I'd like a Death Burger!
[Customer 2:] With cheese!
[Drive-Thru:] We don't have those.
[Customer 1:] A Death Burger with cheese!
[Customer 2:] And fries!
[Customer 1:] And FRIES!
[Customer 2:] And nachoes... And sausage!
[Customer 1:] C-could you make that a combo?
[Customer 2:] ... And an Egg McMuffin.
[Customer 1:] Do you not have a Dea-
[Drive-Thru:] Do you want large fries or jumbo size fries?
[Customer 1:] Agh, do you have a Death Burger or not?
[Drive-Thru:] No, maybe you want a cheeseburger instead?
[Customer 1:] Baaaaaah. Blast it, just give me a large Cherry Lime-Ade! I'll go somewhere else for a Death Burger...!

I've got bad diarrhea

It might be a good idea if I found the bathroom quick before I...

I'm looking at you after it's all over
And I don't feel quite the same
That look in your eyes says you don't want me anymore
Even though you are to blame

Why, oh, why did this have to happen
Why did you do me this way

Tell me why
You had to lead me on so long
Tell me why
I had to end it all in song
Tell me why
You ran away with my best friend
Tell me why
I still love you
Love you

Love

I came across an old love letter
And here's what you had to say
Please pick up a gallon of milk while you're shopping at the store

You said I love you so
You're everything to me
I could love no other one
Yeah right

Except for maybe like I said my best friend
And my brother and my dad
And my other brother
And his best friend
And that guy's brother as well
And that one guy who used to come over and mow the lawn every Saturday
Who had a cool tattoo of a dragon on his shoulder and it was really neat and stuff

Tell me why
You slept with everyone but me
Tell me why
I'm out of words that rhyme with me
Tell me why
You still owe me three bucks for that milk
Tell me why
I still love you

Why
Did you leave me alone
Why
In the cold
In the darkness
Why
So I could talk to the walls in the basement
Why
Did you hurt me so bad
Why
Did you feel the remorse
Why
When you broke both of my shins with a crowbar

Tell me why
I still love you
Even though you're a bitch
I still love you
Even though you're a psycho
I still love you
Even though you should die
I still love you

One, two, three, four, five, six Seven I dunno

Here we go

Tearin' down the road doin' ninety in my tiny little Volkswagen on my way to get a tank of gas I passed a cop with a radar gun waitin' for a Sucker like me to drive by goin' way to fast

I saw the red and blue in my rear view So I pulled slug bug over to the shoulder of the road
He looked at me in the nose and said: "Son, do you realize your tires are round?" And I said: "Pluh!"

[in the background] "Uhhh....What'd you say?" Stupid..Guy, I said Pluh!

Walkin' down the streets in my running shoes lookin' for a shoestore
So that I can find myself parking spot I bumped into a guy that was wearing nothing but his boxers And a cap that said: "I like tater tots."

He said something in Latin that I didn't understand
And I thought the worst until he pointed at my wrist

Then I saw that all he wanted was the time
So I looked at the broken watch, and I said: --"Pluh" [in the background] "I still don't get it" [mumbled] "what the, fucking" "I said Pluh!"

"What the, get that wicky-wack shit out of our music!"

"This is heavy" "Yep"

If there ever was a word that you heard so absurd It could take the place of anything that you could say

Noun, verb, adverb, statement, question,
Daytime, night-time, anytime, anyone!

So remember the next time you forget
What you're sayin' in the middle of a sentence-
Don't strain your brain to remember the word Instead look 'em right in the nose and
Tell 'em that the answer is: "Pluh!"

"Oh I get it!"

"Yeah, now you know" "I said Pluh!"

[belch]

"Yeah, beat that"

"Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh, Pluh"

"Yes I said Pluh, Pluh, Pluh!"

[Sounds like growling "satan"]

I like beer 'cause it is good
I drink beer because I should
If there was a song to sing
I sing it and beer you bring

I drink beer when I am sad
'Cause the beer, it makes me glad
Now there's nothing left to say
So let's go drink beer

Beer is good!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
And stuff!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
(Let's go drink some) Beer! (beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!) Beer! (Beer!)

When it's warm, it tastes real crappy
But cold beer will make me happy
When I throw up on the floor
I can go and drink some more

They say beer will make me dumb
It are go good with pizza
Now that we have drunk some beer
Let's go drive a car

Beer is good!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
And stuff!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
Beer is good!
(Let's go drink some) Beer! (beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!)
Beer! (Beer!) Beer! (Beer!)

Uh, dude? I think you've had enough)
No!

Let's go drink some beer!

(I am drunk, drunk is me, I am drunk...wheee!)
(I am drunk, drunk is me, I am drunk...wheee!)
(I am drunk, drunk is me, I am drunk...wheee!)
(Belch!)

I'm depressed
So I wrote this song
To express
Everything that's wrong

Like my mother
Wouldn't let me go to a rated R
Cool movie
At the theater with my friends

And I know
That you may not think that it's a big deal
But you don't understand.
You would never understand.
You could never understand.
You will never understand.

Cuz I'm singing this melody (in harmony)
And I don't know the words
And my life's just so pitiful (and will always be)
Like one big, smelly turd

I'm so fat
And I'm ugly
And I'm dumb
And I boring

I'm a loser and that's all that I'm ever gonna be
No use trying; I could never get anywhere

And I know
That you may not think that it's a big deal
But you don't understand.
You would never understand.
You could never understand.
You will never ever, never ever, never understand.

Cuz I'm singing this melody (in harmony)
And I don't know the words
And my life's just so pitiful (and will always be)
Like one big, smelly turd

Die, die, bitch, Die!
(and stuff.)
Die, die, Slut, die!
(At random.)
Die, die, whore, Die!
(Who farted?)
Die, die, French Fry!
(I'm hungry.)

Ooh you would never understand,
No, you would never understand

Cuz I'm singing this melody (in harmony)
And I don't know the words
And my life's just so pitiful (and will always be)
Like one big, smelly turd

You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would never understand!
You would Never!, Understand!

(boo-hoo)

Oh, I get it
You wanna run my life!
Why don't you stick an antenna up my ass
and make me your own satellite

You bitch
why the hell you gotta make it so damn tough
I could find a cure for cancer
but it wouldn't be enough

You seem
to think
that I'm a money tree
since your only big concern is
"How much will he spend on me?"
That's it!
I've had it!
I can't take anymore!
If you can't see that you're wrong,
I can show you to the door!

Tell me what do you want from me?
My body? My soul?
If there any relief for me?
From you? Hell no.

I won't listen to you
Until your mouth is shut.
and we don't gotta throw down
just 'cause the toilet seat's up.

I know, that you
Suck
I know that you
blow
I know that I'm
fucked
I know that I
can't say no

You've got the nerve
to tell me how to drive
when you've been in so many wrecks
it's amazing you're alive

Plus you're hogging all the oxygen
since all you do is talk
give me one good reason not to
make you get out here and walk

NO, that doesn't mean I think
You're overweight
I tell you all the time,
I think that you look great!

But HEY, does it matter
with anything I say?
Since I'm always wrong
and didn't do the dishes yesterday!

Tell me what do you want from me?
My body? My soul?
If there any relief for me?
From you? Hell no.

I won't listen to you
Until your mouth is shut.
and we don't gotta throw down
just 'cause the toilet seat's up.

I know, that you
Suck
I know that you
blow
I know that I'm
fucked
I know that I
can't say no

I know that you suck
I know that you blow
I know that I'm...

I hate doing laundry!
I hate doing laundry!
I hate doing laundry!

... Aww, crap, I gotta do the dishes, too!

I hate doing dishes!
I hate doing dishes!
I hate doing dishes!

-What would you do for a death burger?

-May I take your order now?

-Hello? I'd like a death burger, with cheese, and fries, and nachos.

-Is that it?

-Yes just a death burger.

-So you want a... a hamburger fries and a coke?

-No no no, a death burger!

Dog food

Tastes good

With cheese

[TV in backround]

-Come on Flute, you need to defeat Heater so we can wish back all of our friends!

[Laughing]

-Ahh, if only I had more power!

-After you I'll destory the planet! [Laughing]

-OH NO! Time is running out! Is Heater too hot to handle?
Will Flute be able to power up in time? Stay tuned for scenes from the next exciting episode of... LIZARD SPHERE X!

-And now this public service announcement.

[Music plays on TV]

-Dude that's my jam!

-Don't do drugs!

-What the hell? [Laughing]

-School is cool!

-Ah this is terrible!

-This just sucks

-Drugs are bad!

-Be yourself!

[indescribable talking]

[Knock on door]

-OH YEAH! [indescribable talking]

-Who invited you guys?

[indescribable talking]

-Hey that don't matter what's going on up in hur?

-Uhh we're just trying to think of a title for our CD we can't come up with-

- Album title!? Ohhh shit!

-Damn son we- [indescribable talking] What chu come up with double d?

-Man I came up with this idea it's called, www.crackmoneyrecords.cooooooooooom bam boom bam ba boom!

-How about no?

-Noooooooooo!

-I got one yall, how about moon dance?

-Oh that's hot! That shit's hot slam!

-Uhhh no

-Ah fuck that shit yo, when yall mother fuckers gonna put us up on the album?

-Yeah man.

-Cause we crackmoneyrecords.cooooom!

-Yeah you mentioned that already. Well We're trying to think of a place to put you but we can't come up with a good spot.

-Well what about scrotal torment?

-Yeah that'd be good!

-My balls itch itch up in my testoculies!

-We already did that
-But we already did that
-We already played that one

-Oh man damn, well what about I'm in a band to get chicks!
Wooooooooooooo! Lord have mercy!

-We did that one too.

-Suck my bicth! Damn son!

-Um, um, hey I got an idea, I gotta show you something come here.

-Well what you got man. What you got!
-Wassup?

-Check this out

-Garden hose down here

-Garden hose?!

-It's called go away!

[Salms door]

[Yelling in backround]

-Oh God dude, ugh.

-Who the hell, who did this?

-I swear I didn't say-
-Did you call them?

I can feel you in my heart
even though we drift apart
with those words you spoke to me
though I always disagree

And I listen
to the sound of
your sweet voice cause you won't shut up.

Now I'm finished
let me call you
a taxi.

(woah o yeah, woah oh)

I don't feel
that I'm feeling
your feelings,

about these feelings that you feel
(woah romance)

And you know that I love you
when were fuckin'
Cause orgasm equals love.

All my friends smile and they chuckle
at pictures of your bear moose knuckle.
Please don't feel like you're a slut
when I'm peeing in your butt.

And I love to donkey punch you
after I poop on your sheets.
And I do it cause you love me,
and I love you (awwww)

(woah oh yeah, woah some more)

I don't feel
that I'm feeling
your feelings,

about these feelings that you feel
(woa hack wheeze)

And I love you
when you show me
your sweet boobies
Cause orgasm equals love.

(Take it Joshy:)
woah oh oh oh oh oh oh
aaaaaaaggggghhhhhh

(That was terrible...)

I don't feel
that I'm feeling
your feelings,

About these feelings that you feel
(you know what.. fuck this! I'm out of here!)
lets get married
and have babies
just kidding

'Cause orgasm equals love,
'Cause erections equals love,
'Cause ejaculation equals love,
'Cause deep throating blowjobs equal love,
'Cause salad tossing equals love,
Double penetration equals love,
Anal kidney punching equals love,
'Cause dirty sanchez's equal love,
'Cause Cleveland steamers equal love,
'Cause tying you up to my bed
and gagging you with your own panties
and sticking my wiener in between your boobies
and cumming all over your chin equals love.

this song ain't gettin' on the radio any time soon

...ZzZzZzZ...

Good Job... Looks like we finally put the boy to sleep with our slow songs.. Somebody wake him up will you..

OK

[Spoken]
Morning Sleepy Head!
Time To Get Up!

I said
It's time to get up!
Rise and shine,
It's a whole new day full of opportunities and possiblilities.

I said

Wake up!

[Verse/Whatever]
Touch that snooze button,
It'll rip off your
(ahem)
Ear!
Yeah that's it, your ear!

Wake up
But I don't wanna get up!
I said wake up!
But I don't wanna get up!
C'mon wake it up!
But I don't wanna get up!
I said wake up!
But I don't wanna get up!

Nargh

You better get up
You better get up
You better get up
Before I start singin' you a song!

Alright, Alright, I'm Up, I'm Up, Just Please Stop Singing Man You Sing Like shit!

Sick of being a loser
Turned down at every turn
Tired of being rejected
I'm the king of crash and burn
What am I gonna do now?
I need a little plan
Wait! I bet they would want me
With a microphone in hand

'Cause I'm sick of this rejection
Gotta get me some affection
If I wanna score
I gotta upgrade my image
So I'll dub myself a singer
Give the rules a middle finger
Say I do it for the music
Not the money
Though that's true I know that

All I want is chicks
All he wants is chicks
All they want it chicks
All we want is chicks

All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks

Chicks
Bewbs
Yeah all we want is
A little bootie

Look at me in the spotlight
Sweat glistens off my brow
Take my shirt off and show off
Time to flaunt my physique now
Look at the girls all screaming
With the faces turning red
Know that each look I give them
Makes them want to give me... heh heh

Well I know they'll like me better
Than that singer guy named Chester
Or Aaron Lewis 'cuz
I know I'm better looking
And I wish my crush from high school
Saw me now and feels like a fool
'Cause I asked her out a hundred times
She said, "No!" Her loss, still I know

All I want is chicks
All he wants is chicks
All they want it chicks
All we want is chicks

All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks
All we want is chicks

Chicks
Bewbs
Yeah all we want is
A little bootie

"Hey baby
I'm the frontman for that band Psychostick
Wanna have sex?!"
"No you jerk!"

"Hi, I sing in a band. You wanna go out sometime?"
"I'd rather straddle a parking cone."

"Hello member of the female gender of which I have the utmost respect for.
Might I inquire about your availability to dine out with me this fine evening?"

"Can I borrow a quarter to call my dying mother?"

"Next time I'll just bring my dog."

And then Rob said

Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
Jump
C'mon!
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Bounce
Yeah!

"Oh my god, Shannon, did you hear?
The lead singer of Psychostick died of an overdose last night!"
"Becky, that's awful, but who the hell is Psychostick?"

"Hey dude, I saw your obituary in the paper this morning."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I like how it's all,
'He was survived by the remaining members of Psychostick.
Go buy our CD!'"

Well you see I wanna sell a million records
But my music sucks, so what am I to do?
They say an artist is appreciated after he's dead
I have no talent but I bet that it's still true

The lyrics all suck and the chords are too funky
We're on a major label 'cause we're just plain lucky
We sold 4 albums to our own mothers
We have a few supporters but there aren't many others!

What if I could live if they all would think I'm dead
Or just what if I could have me a cake and eat it too
I'd be set for life, no more struggles, no more strife
Let the money do the talking, I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man

"Josh's random unexplained death was a sad death,
And all he ever wanted was better album sales."
"If only someone bought a CD!"

Kill myself and all our record sales will shoot up
Like an addict or that poser Eminem
Make it mystery and let them spot me just like Elvis
It wouldn't matter 'cause I'd still be dead to them

I'd simply sit back in a house all secluded
Out in the forest self-sufficient (pool included)
Let my name take the place of Fred Durst
I could have it all if my label doesn't kill me first

What if I could live if they all would think I'm dead
Or just what if I could have me a cake and eat it too
I'd be set for life, no more struggles, no more strife
Let the money do the talking, I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man

"Good evening.
This just in, the drummer from Psychostick,
Aka "Alex", aka "The Boy",
Killed himself by consuming too many hot dogs topped with apricot jelly.
Strangely, his body could not be found.
However, a note was found stating,
'If only someone had bought our CD.'"

"Check next patient, Mike Hawkizzard.
Cause of death: spontaneous combustion."
"Hey, ain't that the Psychostick bass guy?"
"Precisely. I'm gonna buy the CD."

What if I could live if they all would think I'm dead
Or just what if I could have me a cake and eat it too
I'd be set for life, no more struggles, no more strife
Let the money do the talking, I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man

I'm a, I'm a, I'm a
I'm a dead man walking
I'm a, I'm a, I'm a
I'm a dead man walking

Dead man walking

Alright, motherfuckers! It's time to go old school!
So put on your thinking caps and get ready to fuck shit up!

A, B, C, D, E, F, G!
H, I, J, K, L M N O P!
Q R S -- T U V!
W, X! Y and Z!!

NOW! I! KNOW!... MY A! B! C's!
NEXT TIME WON'T... YOU SING WITH ME!?!

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,8, 9!
A, B, C, D, E, F, G!
H, I, J, K, L M N O P!
Q R S! (OI!) T U V! (OI!)
W, X! Y and Z!!

I know I promised I'd write you a love song
But instead I just wrote you a drunk song
Because love is pathetic
but seventy proof is no less than poetic

You look your best when my vision is blurry
that's not what I meant I can't keep from slurring
Because love is emetic
but not if you bought me a shot and I hit it

Drink 'till you're crazy
Dance 'till you're sick
Take off your bra
Give it to the 'stick

Drink 'till your're crazy
Dance 'till you're sick
Acknowledge the dumb
Give in to the 'stick

I can't see, now I have to pee
and I can't count to three
but I can count to JAGERMEISTER!

YEAH!

Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug my Jagermeister!

Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug my Jagermeister!

Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug my JAGERMEISTER!!!

WHEW!

Drink 'till you're crazy
Dance 'till you're sick
Take off your bra
Give it to the 'stick

Drink 'till you're crazy
Dance 'till you're sick
Acknowledge the dumb
Give in to the 'stick