Link here

So this is a satirical post I wrote, I hope the intended message is self-explanatory. I plan on making it into a video in the style of these and see how many people I can troll (except it's a more thought out parody then simply switching the bands like this guy did), only I've been too lazy to actually download the songs and make the video. If someone else thinks this isn't a completely stupid idea and wants to make said video, feel free to. Anyway, the discussion question, what do you think of the whole true heavy metal vs punk rock poseur attitude? Is there really an issue with hardcore bands pretending to be metal or the like? Is most metalcore metal, hardcore, or something else, and does the difference really matter? I think my opinion should be fairly obvious from my post, but I want to hear what you think.

I'm sorry, are you trying to be funny?

This is 2014 nobody cares. Maybe if you thought of this like... 15 years ago you'd have something, but now it just seems redundant and outdated.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 29.06.2014 at 22:58

This is 2014 nobody cares. Maybe if you thought of this like... 15 years ago you'd have something, but now it just seems redundant and outdated.

15 years ago no one was posting this crap on the internet, so there would be nothing to parody. 5 years ago would be more accurate. Unless you are referring to the perspective in the satire, in which it's actually 30-40 years outdated.

Written by [user id=101272] on 29.06.2014 at 22:47

I'm sorry, are you trying to be funny?

Not exactly, it's satire, so it's meant to be somewhat humorous, but it's primarily meant to critize a line of thinking. It's more ironic and ridiculing than funny.

A couple days ago I jokingly talked about remembering the time Fred Durst was the most hated man on earth in the early 2000s. I never thought I'd talk about it a second time in the same week. Is this all still a thing? If it is, I guess I am not subjected to the same media coverage of said poseurs as pre-teens are.

Written by Ilham on 30.06.2014 at 04:27

A couple days ago I jokingly talked about remembering the time Fred Durst was the most hated man on earth in the early 2000s. I never thought I'd talk about it a second time in the same week. Is this all still a thing? If it is, I guess I am not subjected to the same media coverage of said poseurs as pre-teens are.

I'm guessing it's much less of a thing then it used to be, but yes, I still encounter people like this online.

I honestly don't. And I wouldn't recommend spending time on this. It looks the same way as people still complaining about Elvis selling out.

Written by Ilham on 30.06.2014 at 04:34

I honestly don't. And I wouldn't recommend spending time on this. It looks the same way as people still complaining about Elvis selling out.

Selling out was a thing when Elvis was around?

I get that it is a *Joke* post, but seriously, I don't think anyone still gives a damn 'bout all this crap. Who cares about being a *Tr00 whatever* and who cares 'bout calling people *Posers* ... It's just
music, you like it or you don't. The less drama we make out of this, the better. Joke or not, I think we're all very tired of this.

Written by Ganondox on 30.06.2014 at 03:48
15 years ago no one was posting this crap on the internet, so there would be nothing to parody. 5 years ago would be more accurate. Unless you are referring to the perspective in the satire, in which it's actually 30-40 years outdated.

I was exaggerating. My point, like everyone else's, is that this is by all accounts a pointless endeavor.

So I've come to the conclusion people care so little about true metal that it's a bigger problem to complain about people complaining about poseurs then actual poseurs are, haha. But beating dead horses is fun! It makes them nice and tender.

You'd probably have more luck with this topic over here: http://www.anus.com/

I think most people on this site, Bad English aside, don't really put much value in the whole "true metal" thing. Not to mention I don't think many people here have a strong distaste for punk music. Users here are generally on the more open-minded end of the metal spectrum.

Just don't mention rap. About five or six of us will partake in the conversation and another 10 or so will serve as innocent onlookers but a good chunk of others will crucify you.

People who cling to what's truer are merely people who aren't true to themselves.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 30.06.2014 at 07:30

You'd probably have more luck with this topic over here: http://www.anus.com/

I think most people on this site, Bad English aside, don't really put much value in the whole "true metal" thing. Not to mention I don't think many people here have a strong distaste for punk music. Users here are generally on the more open-minded end of the metal spectrum.

Just don't mention rap. About five or six of us will partake in the conversation and another 10 or so will serve as innocent onlookers but a good chunk of others will crucify you.

Well, more luck for trolling, haha. I posted it here because the people are tolerant enough to actually have a discussion, but I guess they are too tolerant to discuss. Anyway, I love punk music, though I like metal more. As for rap, I don't like it much, but there is some I like, my brother is a fan of alterantive hip hop as well as punk, and I think a lot of rap metal is pretty good. Now I will wait for the crucification.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 30.06.2014 at 07:30

Just don't mention rap. About five or six of us will partake in the conversation and another 10 or so will serve as innocent onlookers but a good chunk of others will crucify you.

You can't spell CRAP without RAP haha am I right (bazinga). I mean it's not really music, it's just words overtop of instruments anyone can do that

Written by Troy Killjoy on 30.06.2014 at 07:30

Just don't mention rap. About five or six of us will partake in the conversation and another 10 or so will serve as innocent onlookers but a good chunk of others will crucify you.

Might explain why the majority of the poems in the poetry discussion aren't that good.

I can understand why rap music isn't acceptable on a metal forum. I partake every now and then; listening to Sage Francis, at the moment. Rap, to me, is poetry. But I will let that be what it may be, the independent/underground scene has always appealed to me. The mass majority of popular rap music is just cut-n-paste mimicry; however, the same could be said for every music scene. For people who think rap is easy, try it. Partake in online battles and freestyle sessions and I promise you will change your mind.

Ain't nothing like beating a dead horse, riding it through a ghost town - Sage Francis.

I will never talk about rap again, on this board.

Written by Stoned Crow on 30.06.2014 at 08:28
I will never talk about rap again, on this board.

Nah, feel free to talk about it. Like Mattybu said, it's all just talking over samples anyway right?

(PS there is a topic for that discussion right over here: http://metalstorm.net/forum/topic.php?topic_id=2807 and I encourage you to revive the thread.)

No offense, but you sound like a kid trying to fit in with the older bearded guys.

Written by Ganondox on 30.06.2014 at 03:48

Not exactly, it's satire, so it's meant to be somewhat humorous, but it's primarily meant to criticize a line of thinking. It's more ironic and ridiculing than funny.

I know what satire is. I read it/wrote it in college. Not too many people can actually succeed in doing it properly (myself included), and suffice to say you are not one of those people. You completely lack irony, and the key factor that tells the reader (preferably near the end) "Hey, this is a piece that shouldn't be taken seriously, but goddamn if you weren't actually convinced." I didn't take it seriously from the start (hell, I stopped taking it seriously from reading your tumblr title). There's no humor, no irony. Really, you look like another one of those idiots on the Youtube comment section.

Anyway, the moral is:

^^^ *Grabs munchies*

So the battle begins!

EDIT: I might grab party mix... cuz it's yummeh.

...gotta dig trough my ancient posts in order to find was i ever this much full of bullshit ... cause i get everything ,but this is not remotely funny,nor trolling ,nor offensive ...its plain brain-dead stupid...sorry to break it up to you ,but Zoidberg from few posts back is right....

Written by Troy Killjoy on 30.06.2014 at 07:30

You'd probably have more luck with this topic over here: http://www.anus.com/

I think most people on this site, Bad English aside, don't really put much value in the whole "true metal" thing. Not to mention I don't think many people here have a strong distaste for punk music. Users here are generally on the more open-minded end of the metal spectrum.

Just don't mention rap. About five or six of us will partake in the conversation and another 10 or so will serve as innocent onlookers but a good chunk of others will crucify you.

Oh man I laughed so hard when I saw that dead horse picture.
Anyways I like punk music and rap. Not all rap but some.

Written by deadone on 01.07.2014 at 03:31

It's the best metal satire I've seen because I've never seen any metal satire before.

It's also the worst one =P

Written by [user id=101272] on 30.06.2014 at 20:57

Written by Ganondox on 30.06.2014 at 03:48

Not exactly, it's satire, so it's meant to be somewhat humorous, but it's primarily meant to criticize a line of thinking. It's more ironic and ridiculing than funny.

I know what satire is. I read it/wrote it in college. Not too many people can actually succeed in doing it properly (myself included), and suffice to say you are not one of those people. You completely lack irony, and the key factor that tells the reader (preferably near the end) "Hey, this is a piece that shouldn't be taken seriously, but goddamn if you weren't actually convinced." I didn't take it seriously from the start (hell, I stopped taking it seriously from reading your tumblr title). There's no humor, no irony. Really, you look like another one of those idiots on the Youtube comment section.

There is irony, you just missed it. Do I really need to explain the joke? The irony is that in the lists this is parody usually a bunch of 80's metals bands are being called true metal in comparisson to a bunch of metalcore bands because they are less influenced by hardcore. One unintentionally ironic element in those is the true metal bands are actually more mainstream than the metalcore. This is ironic by taking the same structure, saying popular bands are metal than more punk influenced bands from the decade, only it's based around hard rock and 70's metal (some 80's as well) rather than thrash metal and other 80's metal as would be expected. As the blurb goes along the comparissons get more and more ridicluous, at the end Iron Maiden is being called non-metal and punk while the Beatles are, so it should be fairly obvious it's not serious at that point. If that failed to come across, fine, it wasn't funny, but your analysis sucks, because it did contain irony and a factor and the end to tell it shouldn't be taken seriously.

If you need to explain a joke then its not funny man.
I don't find your "satire" funny at all.
But I think most people know exactly what you're trying to do but again its just not funny.
Like Troy said nobody cares about this anymore.
By the way, where in the hell did you get the Iron Maiden/Beatles thing from? That makes no sense. And again wasn't funny.

Written by deadone on 01.07.2014 at 04:44

Written by Totenlieder on 01.07.2014 at 04:41

If you need to explain a joke then its not funny man.
I don't find your "satire" funny at all.
But I think most people know exactly what you're trying to do but again its just not funny.
Like Troy said nobody cares about this anymore.
By the way, where in the hell did you get the Iron Maiden/Beatles thing from? That makes no sense. And again wasn't funny.

I got the joke without needing an explanation. It's not exactly rocket science.

I still maintain it's a lack of sense of humour that affects a lot of metalheads including a lot I've met in real life.

I got it as well but most of the time when people need to explain a joke then it usually ends up not being funny.

Metalheads lack a sense of humour? That's news to me. Everywhere I've ever been with metallers has taught me they're more willing to joke and have a laugh than the average person. On this site too. I joke with people on a daily basis on all manner of subjects, from the puerile to the satirical. This issue here is that the OP's topic just isn't funny. Doesn't mean people here lack of a sense of humour because they don't find everything hilarious.

Written by deadone on 01.07.2014 at 04:32

Funny you say that as you yourself didn't really understand Crotchduster which is heavy metal satire/comedy. Crotchduster Review

If that's not funny heavy metal/satire, then what is?

Well, it is funny. But on that review I was rating the music album and not the jokes =P

Written by Totenlieder on 01.07.2014 at 04:41

If you need to explain a joke then its not funny man.
I don't find your "satire" funny at all.
But I think most people know exactly what you're trying to do but again its just not funny.
Like Troy said nobody cares about this anymore.
By the way, where in the hell did you get the Iron Maiden/Beatles thing from? That makes no sense. And again wasn't funny.

I get that people didn't find it funny, if it's not funny it's not funny, oh well, but it's still satire. Even though the execution and concept were terrible, it has all the elements of satire. I've taken multiple college level English classes, I know what satire is. Just because it's bad satire doesn't mean it's not satire. I was explaining it not to make it funny, but to show it did indeed contain irony and a catch at the end.

If you looked at the list, the last comparission is Helter Skelter by Beatles with Running Free by Iron Maiden, and it ends with the declaration that the Beatles are true metal and Iron Maiden is poseur punk. Now, it needs to be understood that some people consider Helter Skelter to be the first metal song (I personally don't), and Running Free is from Paul Di'Anno's era, who considers the song to be punk. However, despite this the Beatles clearly aren't a metal band, and Iron Maiden is clearly a metal rather than a punk band. The entire joke is it's from the perspective of a thrash hating 70's metal elitist who doesn't know what he is talking about, making fun of metalcore hating 80's metal elitists who don't know what they are talking about.

Written by deadone on 01.07.2014 at 05:12

Written by Ganondox on 01.07.2014 at 05:05

I get that people didn't find it funny, if it's not funny it's not funny, oh well, but it's still satire.

Too true.

There used to be a political satire show here in Oz called Back Berner. A lot of it was just dry and dull and almost painfully not funny but it was still satire.

Writing good humour is difficult.

But even if it's bad it's still comedy, just like a badly written metal song is still metal.

Exactly. Being funny is hard, especially when written. In life people consider me a funny/witty guy, but only because I can make stupid snarky remarks, writing something is much harder.

Written by deadone on 01.07.2014 at 04:50


One of the most common things I encounter with the net is "TLDR" (Too Long Didn't Read).

One of the things I do on my blog posts is put a completely idiotic, flamebait "TL;DR:" at the end, partly as a joke for those who actually stuck around, and partly just to spite people who do that. Example (though if I were to redo that article I'd change a bunch of the examples, for one Freak on a Leash is a terrible example of nu metal)