Depression (And Other Related Mental Illnesses)

Written by [user id=159927] on 09.05.2018 at 18:34

I'm not a person who has times where I'm depressed (like for a month, week, day, etc.) and then is feeling better. I've just been depressed for the past year and a half.

I'm currently taking Abilify (aripiprazole) and Zoloft (sertraline) regularly and that's probably one of the reasons why I am feeling better. Have you been to a psychiatrist or tried anti-depressants of any kind? Sorry, if this is a too personal question...

Written by Metren on 10.05.2018 at 01:01
Have you been to a psychiatrist or tried anti-depressants of any kind? Sorry, if this is a too personal question...

No, I really should.

So I only just recently learned what C-PTSD (Complex - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is. I also discovered that I more than likely may have been suffering from it my entire life but just went undiagnosed (and I still am). Though I have always shown signs of most of the symptoms, I would have dismissed this notion previously because ordinary PTSD is associated with War Veterans, and my country doesn't even have an army, I didn't know there were different forms of the condition........So apparently much of the anxiety that I get is an extension of the Traumatic Stress............I get Xanax off the streets (without prescription), which isn't recommended for C-PTSD, but like hell if I'm going to discontinue them At least I don't use them excessively........


But yes, Fuck all mental illnesses without exception!!

I've been feeling progressively more and more depressed in recent weeks to the point where it is hard to even begin to put into words just how uncomfortably numb and bored I feel. I am honestly losing my will to exist at this point. It's like there's a black hole inside my head sucking in everything that I once liked and enjoyed, as ridiculous as it sounds, it feels like my mind is collapsing in. I have no idea what to do, it seems the meds I've taken for years aren't really helping or at least not helping enough. I'm tired, just fucking tired of this crap.

Written by Metren on 17.09.2018 at 19:03

I've been feeling progressively more and more depressed in recent weeks to the point where it is hard to even begin to put into words just how uncomfortably numb and bored I feel. I am honestly losing my will to exist at this point. It's like there's a black hole inside my head sucking in everything that I once liked and enjoyed, as ridiculous as it sounds, it feels like my mind is collapsing in. I have no idea what to do, it seems the meds I've taken for years aren't really helping or at least not helping enough. I'm tired, just fucking tired of this crap.

Consult someone who might suggest you go for an alternative way which may help you to fight with your inner emotions. All I will recommend you to consult someone immediately.

Written by Cynic Metalhead on 18.09.2018 at 14:43

Consult someone who might suggest you go for an alternative way which may help you to fight with your inner emotions. All I will recommend you to consult someone immediately.

Feeling better today. Feeling downright hopeful. I was at a point where my wife suggested I go to a hospital just 2 days ago and now I am pretty much fine. This is weird...

Written by Metren on 19.09.2018 at 20:04

Written by Cynic Metalhead on 18.09.2018 at 14:43

Consult someone who might suggest you go for an alternative way which may help you to fight with your inner emotions. All I will recommend you to consult someone immediately.

Feeling better today. Feeling downright hopeful. I was at a point where my wife suggested I go to a hospital just 2 days ago and now I am pretty much fine. This is weird...

It might sound weird but you can do Yoga.

I have been feeling so much better the past 2-3 months than I was before. Maybe I'm Bipolar?

Written by [user id=159927] on 26.09.2018 at 23:29

I have been feeling so much better the past 2-3 months than I was before. Maybe I'm Bipolar?

If I recall correctly from the time they tried to categorize me as bipolar, the periods between mania and depression are much shorter. I could be wrong though. Are you just less unhappy, or abnormally happy? Could also just have to do with the fact that the last few months were summer. Loads of, if not most, people feel way better both mentally and physically in summer than winter.

Written by Zap on 27.09.2018 at 16:22

If I recall correctly from the time they tried to categorize me as bipolar, the periods between mania and depression are much shorter. I could be wrong though. Are you just less unhappy, or abnormally happy? Could also just have to do with the fact that the last few months were summer. Loads of, if not most, people feel way better both mentally and physically in summer than winter.

I was thinking it could have something to do with the weather actually. But I just feel abnormally happy, everything seems to be fine in life now, and it feels like I won't be depressed again although I probably will. A big reason I was insanely depressed from the end of 2017 to the beginning of 2018 was because my sophomore year of high school sucked and was an immense amount of stress, and I always hear junior year is gonna be worse.

Written by [user id=159927] on 27.09.2018 at 16:40

I was thinking it could have something to do with the weather actually. But I just feel abnormally happy, everything seems to be fine in life now, and it feels like I won't be depressed again although I probably will. A big reason I was insanely depressed from the end of 2017 to the beginning of 2018 was because my sophomore year of high school sucked and was an immense amount of stress, and I always hear junior year is gonna be worse.

I have no clue about the USA school system, so is it summer break now, or are you in school at the moment? It seems like you were just feeling awful because of the stress from school, so if this year is less stressful or you're not in school, well then, of course you're feeling better right? In any case if you're feeling better I wouldn't worry (sounds like weird advice) but if you do start feeling depressed again, talk to someone about it asap (a professional, I mean.)

Written by Zap on 27.09.2018 at 17:24

I have no clue about the USA school system, so is it summer break now, or are you in school at the moment? It seems like you were just feeling awful because of the stress from school, so if this year is less stressful or you're not in school, well then, of course you're feeling better right? In any case if you're feeling better I wouldn't worry (sounds like weird advice) but if you do start feeling depressed again, talk to someone about it asap (a professional, I mean.)

I was gonna talk to a professional in like May or June, but then I started feeling better so I didn't get to it. I will go to them if I feel bad again. But yeah, I guess school is a big part of it and the stress. Here in Massachusetts, we go to school in very late August/early September, and get out either beginning or ending of June because we have so many snow days that must be made up haha.

Is anyone on this site familiar with an App called, Talkspace?

If so, do any of you have it?

Finally some validation for the deathly prison of antidepressant withdrawal https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/03/05/health/depression-withdrawal-drugs.amp.html an argument I had with Troy years ago. He's probably forgotten about it and pushing it those pills onto his social work clients. As for me I'm still battling them.
There is even a weekly podcast about it now.

Written by no one on 25.06.2019 at 10:31

Finally some validation for the deathly prison of antidepressant withdrawal https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/03/05/health/depression-withdrawal-drugs.amp.html an argument I had with Troy years ago. He's probably forgotten about it and pushing it those pills onto his social work clients. As for me I'm still battling them.
There is even a weekly podcast about it now.

Haven't tried any myself (not for real, I took mirtazapine for two weeks, but I got a bad feeling about it and decided to quit), but those of my friends who have all tell me that getting off them was such a pain that they wish they never began taking them at all. Might have helped them somewhat in a really bad period of life but I'm not seeing any happier faces than usual, so to speak.

Glad I decided to quit ahead. I'm already on a load of other medications, mostly related to mental health, and prescribed daily doses twice or thrice the recommended maximum, adding more to that wouldn't be good for anybody I think. (doesn't feel right to spill all the beans here if not asked to, I have no problem talking about it though)

Okay so today I would talk about my story of mentall illness affecting me, change me, transform me. First of all in the begining, I drink meds when i was 17 in high school but took serious meds for mental ill at college age 20, and you know in Vietnam studid communist country, my parents just give me and i drink without explaination. If you know my darkest reason for while i start the journey with mental health then i tell you it is darkest secret of human race you ever know, i say so you can understand. Okay then how i overcome: first i used to be metal listener since high school until now 30s, and secondly my logic thinking contemplation about life. When i know metal, I know that is my music is not known for weakness, i learn english, then i once be put in mental host, oh god for fuk sake in America young people there and middle age too are huge musclous, big muscle, tough and fight a lots, the days i found out about America and rock music, metal music, it is the denial of weakness real man macho psychopath that leads me to change my psychological psychosocial, I work out and drink meds live a wild life, if I dont drink meds I cant get sleep but apparelly I work out with the burning inside my body I get strong huge tough guy to face this life, i read about philosophy around the world Nazi, comies, all their philosophy of live ing and i must say it really boots the mental strength. If you have mental problem you can have mental power, also i read a lots of psychology books and it is reallly awake wide for me that I can control my emotion power which has influence on others. I have hundred times off cut old meds and then drinking new meds but I overcome all. the only thing is you need to have good physical body to endure the meds inside you then you train it the way like it makes you strong like energy drink testorerone. i recommend guys with mental health needs work out hard to gain big muscle then you will be benefit both strong both physically and mentally. If you have mental health you must fight, and believe me its worth the cause. when drinking meds i guess it induces me thinking well, i consider for others, i live with mu parents i must think for them and throw my ego so i no long fight with meds problem i survive family and my family survive with graceful forgivingness of Christ. I love metal, i like black metal too but i dont deny Christ and Im non God theist believer too cuz all scientist has discover there no God but we can use religion as a weapon, if you read Bible you will understand. I listened to a lot of metal before but now if judging truly metal is surrender in terms of spirituality , metal it accepts everything to move on in life. As for what i compare to others, I drink meds but I go no other sickness in my life, rarely sick nor sniff sneeze, I take cold winter shower untill i die, until 70 other people drink bunch of meds but i drink only mental meds, sleep well and work out so i always be stronger then them as i win hundred fights in mental hosts i ever been. See i lose noting, that want to tell you to inspire you. I got 1 university degree in business administration, my parents forced me to study it, I finished but find no job, now I go back to school to study computer science. Once I start again. I believe Im strongest man of the world.

Been on the edge of a mental crisis for some time now, and I now feel like my depression has come back to me after almost ten years now.

The last few years have been extremely distressful and mentally corrosive to me. Just when some social life was coming back after the covid and I was very excited to finish my exhausting Ph.D., I got in trouble with a hand injury that made me unable to work or perform many of the tasks needed to sustain an independent life. At the peak of it, I had difficulty brushing my teeth, putting on socks, shaving my beard, and cleaning my place. At the same time, I was under a lot of stress given the fact that I essentially had 6 months to find a job in Switzerland, or leave the country and potentially be forced to go back to Iran to do compulsory military service for two years. Furthermore, I was living without a salary in one of the most expensive countries in the world, burning through my savings. After leaving Switzerland, I did not have medical coverage for ~ 1 year, exactly when I needed to work on the recovery of my hand. Not having a job contract during this time meant that no landlord will rent out their property to me, so I was forced to constantly jump between shitty, short-term accommodations. During a period of ~ 10 months, I "lived' in 6 different places. The whole situation was overwhelming. All in all, it took me more than 1.5 years to be able to properly use my hand.

I thought my luck has finally turned when I found a job at a very respected European company and started working in March. I indeed love the job and what the company does, but, being still in my early months, it sometimes is stressful and I feel overworked. I think that is normal, though, given the nature of my work, and will get better. However, what is not getting better is the weather. It is a cliche at this point to complain about the weather here, but this is just too much for me. I've barely seen any sunny days in the last 5 months, and people tell me that worse is coming still for the winter. I sometimes feel like I'm a pathetic and weak person being affected so much by the grey skies, and I've spent the mornings in the most of last two weeks crying as I look outside and see cloudy and rainy skies. I honestly do not know what I'm gonna do in November and December.

Adding insult to injury, my job is located in one of the ugliest, most dead, and boring cities I've seen in the whole of Europe. The whole region has been just a village ~150 years ago, and it has grown to a city with 250+K people because of all the industries around here. Being so new, it does not have the historical charm of typical European cities, while also not offering anything in the way of cultural activities or nature. The whole place is like a glorified dormitory and walking in the city, you feel like they've intentionally designed the city to look ugly and soulless. This opinion is not just mine either. I've never seen anyone here that actually finds the city a nice place to live. We are all here for the job.

I do not know many people around here yet. I've now started to branch out and make some friends, and that will not be an issue. However, at the moment I feel the loneliest I've ever been as most of my free time in the last few months has been dedicated to finding proper accommodation.

Finally, for some complicated reason dealing with the necessity of doing military service for Iranian men, I've not been able to travel there and see my parents for three years now. I'm extremely homesick and can't wait to travel back there, which, will finally happen the next month. I've never looked forward to anything more than this in my life.

Sorry for the very long, excessively detailed, and overtly negative comment. This is for sure the lowest I've been in the last 10 years, and I feel like my depression is now back again. This is something I've dreaded so much after my previous 5-year struggle with depression. All these factors combined are having a toll on my mental health I felt like needing to just vent them out for once.

Mz, try and struggle to be better.

How's it going now mz?

Nice story Metal Rabotnik. Glad you have overcome.

Anyone here see counselors or psychologists? Ive seen a quite a few and I think i have only had one good one, and that was so long ago it might have just been because it was all new to me. In fact the last one I got was so shit she didn't turn up to the last appointment and I've never heard from her since.
We get it for free over here but I've also paid for it just to see if it'd make a difference and they're still shit.
Just seeing if they are useless in other countries too?

Written by no one on 04.06.2024 at 09:36

Anyone here see counselors or psychologists? Ive seen a quite a few and I think i have only had one good one, and that was so long ago it might have just been because it was all new to me. In fact the last one I got was so shit she didn't turn up to the last appointment and I've never heard from her since.
We get it for free over here but I've also paid for it just to see if it'd make a difference and they're still shit.
Just seeing if they are useless in other countries too?

I did see one at some point in Belgium and he was very good. The only thing is I was so despressed at the time I couldn't bring myself to go after a few visits. Looking back I wish I had because I really needed help and would have gotten it.

I managed to get better in the end and I can safely say I haven't been depressed for at least five years, but the road wasn't easy and I'm still discovering things about myself that a therapist could have told me about ten or more years ago. Better late than never I guess.

Sad to hear of your crappy experience. People who need help should be getting proper help, with the lowest possible bar to entry.

Written by Zap on 04.06.2024 at 09:59


I did see one at some point in Belgium and he was very good. The only thing is I was so despressed at the time I couldn't bring myself to go after a few visits. Looking back I wish I had because I really needed help and would have gotten it.

I managed to get better in the end and I can safely say I haven't been depressed for at least five years, but the road wasn't easy and I'm still discovering things about myself that a therapist could have told me about ten or more years ago. Better late than never I guess.

Sad to hear of your crappy experience. People who need help should be getting proper help, with the lowest possible bar to entry.

Maybe they just aren't trained as well over here or something I don't know, the mental health system seems kinda fucked over here.

I still get depressed every month or so, it doesn't seem to last as long as it used to, with kids you just have to keep going with life and it kinda forces you to snap out of it. I'm 41 now and almost just accept that I'm too far gone and only really give a shit for the sake of my kids.

Written by no one on 04.06.2024 at 09:36

Anyone here see counselors or psychologists? Ive seen a quite a few and I think i have only had one good one, and that was so long ago it might have just been because it was all new to me. In fact the last one I got was so shit she didn't turn up to the last appointment and I've never heard from her since.
We get it for free over here but I've also paid for it just to see if it'd make a difference and they're still shit.
Just seeing if they are useless in other countries too?

After first-hand experience of mental health problems myself (mostly my mum and partner who both suffer from psychotic disorders) I can honestly say the mental health care system in the UK is an absolute shambles, and without going too far into politics it's been rapidly going downhill since the Tory government came into power, they pretty much drained all it's resources, and councilors new philosophy is simply: if your feeling depressed or having psychotic episodes just simply snap out of it and get your ass to work. There used to be places to go where those struggling would feel comfortable, join in activities, or simply chat with those who suffer similar situations they really helped a lot and improved people's mental well-being but they all seemed to have vanished due to lack of funding.

Written by no one on 04.06.2024 at 10:50

Maybe they just aren't trained as well over here or something I don't know, the mental health system seems kinda fucked over here.

I still get depressed every month or so, it doesn't seem to last as long as it used to, with kids you just have to keep going with life and it kinda forces you to snap out of it. I'm 41 now and almost just accept that I'm too far gone and only really give a shit for the sake of my kids.

Well, at least it is free so you can keep looking until you find someone that works for you, right? I would encourage you to do that, because it seems like you are having a hard time and your family is all that keeps you going.

On the topic of children, I think raising kids would be so stressful for me that I would never be happy if I had kids. Luckily I've already taken measures to ensure I can never have them

Quote:

Written by AndyMetalFreak on 04.06.2024 at 11:08

After first-hand experience of mental health problems myself (mostly my mum and partner who both suffer from psychotic disorders) I can honestly say the mental health care system in the UK is an absolute shambles, and without going too far into politics it's been rapidly going downhill since the Tory government came into power, they pretty much drained all it's resources, and councilors new philosophy is simply: if your feeling depressed or having psychotic episodes just simply snap out of it and get your ass to work. There used to be places to go where those struggling would feel comfortable, join in activities, or simply chat with those who suffer similar situations they really helped a lot and improved people's mental well-being but they all seemed to have vanished due to lack of funding.

Yeah and this new government is planning to so the same m, so things should get better :

Written by Zap on 04.06.2024 at 11:22

Written by no one on 04.06.2024 at 10:50

Maybe they just aren't trained as well over here or something I don't know, the mental health system seems kinda fucked over here.

I still get depressed every month or so, it doesn't seem to last as long as it used to, with kids you just have to keep going with life and it kinda forces you to snap out of it. I'm 41 now and almost just accept that I'm too far gone and only really give a shit for the sake of my kids.

Well, at least it is free so you can keep looking until you find someone that works for you, right? I would encourage you to do that, because it seems like you are having a hard time and your family is all that keeps you going.

On the topic of children, I think raising kids would be so stressful for me that I would never be happy if I had kids. Luckily I've already taken measures to ensure I can never have them

Well it's s a bit of a process, you have to to the doctor which you do pay for, do a stupid test then get put on a waiting list. I've been to 5. I thought maybe I'm just a hard patient but my wife went to one recently for family issues and had the same experience.

Yeah kids are the hardest most stressful things ever, but they make your life feel a lot more meaningful.

Written by no one on 08.11.2023 at 07:45

How's it going now mz?

sorry. This is a very delayed reponse. I was mostly feeling better. Up to recently that is. I think I'm going to have another long post now.

Long, trumatic post ahead.

Lately, the shame and anger from experience of being sexually abused as a child has came back to me. It seems like there is no escape. No matter how hard I try, the feeling is back after some calm.

Being raised in a very sexualy backward society where the victoms of sexual violence are constantly made fun of, I felt ashamed as a kid for what had happened to me. I know my parents will be extremely sad for me, so I kept it almost completely to myself and never talked about it to anyone, untill now that is when I have mentioned it vaguely to a few freinds. Still, whenever I see news of a guy arrested for molesting childred, I start to have anxiety attacks and plunged hard to darkness. I've decided to delete all my social media accounts (facebook, twitter, instagram) just to protect myselft from seeing these news now.

Lately I'm experiencing a lot of shame when I'm trying to be intimate with someone. I've never excused myself for what happened, and being bodily closed to someone else, in a very fucked up way, bring back those images of abuse very vividly. I've started to date a very kind, nice girl recently, and I cannot enjoy her company as much as I like because of these issues. I feel guilty for not being able to being fully present with her.

The first instance of abuse happened when I wanted to protect my brother, 2 years younger than me, from essentially what happened to me. Being a 7-year old boy, I did the best I could, but that was not enough for both of us. For a long time, I was swinging back and forth between feeling negative about him for not even realizing what have happened, and then feeling ashamed for putting any blame on an innocent 5-year old boy. Sometimes I feel that I'm too week that "incidents" can affect my life so dramattically.

One never stops being a victom of childhood sexual abuse. At least I know I haven't. This has shaped my life in such a profound way that it is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about myself. I hate that. Despite everything I've don and all my achievements, being sexually abused is my defining characteristics for myself. When I started having physical problems around the end of my highschool, I saw it as being deserved. I did not consider myself and my body worthy, and felt like it is divine justice if such a body starts having physical issues.

I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. The internal pressure keeps getting higher and higher and I have a constant feeling of nausea. I'm chatting with one of these websites dedicated to providing help for the victims of sexual abuse, which recommended me to talk to my GP so that I could be reffered to a psychologis. I'm not sure if I will be able to talk about these issues face-to-face with someone. For now it seems like the only way forward. There is so much negativity, anger and shame inside me that I wish I'd be struck by a lightning. Sometimes I wish a suddent car accident resulting in a quick death is the best thing that could happen to me. Then I will not be responsible for killing myself and putting my loved ones in pain.

Sory for this potentially sad post. I literally had nowhere else to talk about it and I feel like exploding. I hope you all are doing better than me

Oh man I hope I would not delete the above post.