Written by MétalNoir on 09.12.2009 at 21:52

There, thank you! My point is, some girls think they can do anything just because guys aren't "supposed" to hit them, but sometimes they deserve it

Written by Irritable Ted on 06.04.2010 at 23:30

The worlds unluckiest man is totally metal.

He was fixing up his vintage Harley Davison bike, he had been working on it for many years and had just about finished it. He thought it would be good to hear it rev up, good and loud. He had it on a stand with the wheels off the ground so he got on and span the wheels, fast. It fell off the stand and fired him through a plate glass window. His wife called for an ambulance, a crew took him away to be stitched up.

While he was in hospital his wife cleaned up the mess and glass, soaked up the petrol with toilet roll and flushed it.

On his return from hospital he sat down for a good relaxing poo and looked at the damage to his beloved bike. Devastated at the damage, he lights up the last cigarette in the packet, drops the match down the toilet and lights the petrol soaked toilet roll his wife had just put down there. Blowing him self through the same plate glass door as a few hours earlier, this time on fire.

Once again his wife calls the ambulance, the same crew arrive as before, wanting to know what happened. As she tells them the sorry story, they piss themselves laughing so much, they drop him off the stretcher down the stairs breaking his legs.

How metal is that?

Written by JÄY on 15.04.2010 at 20:16

I got head while playing guitar hero

Written by Bleed4Metal on 15.04.2010 at 20:50

Written by JÄY on 15.04.2010 at 20:16

I got head while playing guitar hero

what song where you playing? Its not metal if it was a gay song

Written by Irritable Ted on 15.04.2010 at 21:05

Written by JÄY on 15.04.2010 at 20:56

Written by Bleed4Metal on 15.04.2010 at 20:50

Written by JÄY on 15.04.2010 at 20:16

I got head while playing guitar hero

what song where you playing? Its not metal if it was a gay song

we're gunna go with Number of the beast

Slide It In By Whitesnake would be more apt.

Written by Irritable Ted on 15.04.2010 at 18:52

Written by Boxcar Willy on 15.04.2010 at 17:59

Written by Irritable Ted on 06.04.2010 at 23:30

The worlds unluckiest man is totally metal.

He was fixing up his vintage Harley Davison bike, he had been working on it for many years and had just about finished it. He thought it would be good to hear it rev up, good and loud. He had it on a stand with the wheels off the ground so he got on and span the wheels, fast. It fell off the stand and fired him through a plate glass window. His wife called for an ambulance, a crew took him away to be stitched up.

While he was in hospital his wife cleaned up the mess and glass, soaked up the petrol with toilet roll and flushed it.

On his return from hospital he sat down for a good relaxing poo and looked at the damage to his beloved bike. Devastated at the damage, he lights up the last cigarette in the packet, drops the match down the toilet and lights the petrol soaked toilet roll his wife had just put down there. Blowing him self through the same plate glass door as a few hours earlier, this time on fire.

Once again his wife calls the ambulance, the same crew arrive as before, wanting to know what happened. As she tells them the sorry story, they piss themselves laughing so much, they drop him off the stretcher down the stairs breaking his legs.

How metal is that?

is that real? if it is thats hilarious

The place where I read it claimed that it was a true story, they also had another story, not quite as metal but still funny.

In tornado alley in the US, the wind by a guy's house was so strong that it bent a really thick tree over double and it caught on the overhang of his roof and started to lift the roof away from the building. He was worried about this so wondered how he could save his house.

Chainsaw, was the answer.

He climbed the tree and started to cut through the trapped branches. One by one he sawed through until he cut through the last one. The tree immediately sprang back upright, firing him quarter of a mile away to his death.

Written by Warman on 16.07.2010 at 15:06

More metal moments to my list:

- When I was at Gröna Lund (an amusement park) and ran into Gene Simmons completely random.

- I've worked for Com Hem for some time. It's a company in Sweden which delivers TV, Internet and phone lines. Both Johan Hegg of Amon Amarth and Daniel Erlandsson of Arch Enemy have called me and asked for some services. I threw in some bonus stuff for them both.

- My best friend's dad is Tomas Vikström, vocalist in Therion and ex-Candlemass.

Written by Spirit Molecule on 09.05.2011 at 12:04

Written by Warman on 16.07.2010 at 15:06


- My best friend's dad is Tomas Vikström, vocalist in Therion and ex-Candlemass.

Thats why he's your best friend?

Written by Warman on 16.07.2010 at 15:06

- My best friend's dad is Tomas Vikström, vocalist in Therion and ex-Candlemass.

Written by MetalDoomMaster on 10.03.2010 at 04:16

I had to give a couple of middle-school girls a ride back to school from a physics trip last year. They got in my car and asked me if I had any "gangster shit" (rap) I proceeded to tell them to "Shut up or get out" and then when none of them got out, I played Decapitated-Winds of Creation all the way back to school. When we got back I heard one of them say that she had a headache. I was Happy.

A few weeks ago I had to do a project for computer class where we had to create a pamphlet about our own holiday. I called my holiday Metal Day, and it was to be on Christmas, because metal is more important than the birth/death of Christ. I never got that project back with a grade on it.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 21.05.2011 at 17:06

In my grade 10 English class we were allowed listening to music "quietly" (headphones). I never listened to my music loudly because everyone else listened to pop/hip hop and I didn't want to break their collective appreciation of each other's music.

But one day someone was playing 50 Cent or something, so fucking loud. And then a bunch of people started "rapping" the lyrics, so I just fucking CRANKED Immortal's "Solarfall" and everyone shut right up. Then the teacher asked me to turn my music down, so I told him it's not any different than what anyone else is doing. Apparently, according to him, my music was disruptive.

The next day I handed him a four-page essay on why metal is not as disruptive as hip hop. It was a pretty lame thesis, but he gave me an A (as part of an individual assignment) and even asked me for a list of some bands to get into. One of the bands I recommended was Opeth, and a week later I saw him at the mall wearing an Opeth t-shirt.