Written by:	D.T. Metal
Published:	June 16, 2012
Event:	Barge To Hell 2012 (Website)
Location:	Cruise Ship, Miami, FL, USA
Galleries:	Barge To Hell Cruise - Gallery Part Four - 6th December 2012 by D.T. Metal (97) Barge To Hell Cruise - Gallery Part Three - 5th December 2012 by D.T. Metal (82) Barge To Hell Cruise - Gallery Part Two - 4th December 2012 by D.T. Metal (203) Barge To Hell Cruise - Gallery Part One - 3rd December 2012 by D.T. Metal (109)

Alrighty Metal Stormers, I bet most of us had that unique concert experience which just stands out among the rest. Maybe our first concert we attended, or memories from the ruckus that happened on or off stage. It might have been at a small club or an open-air festival as we watched our favorite band(s) just kick some major butt. Or, for some of us, the fondest memories were sitting in a hot-tub, sipping on a Margarita or chugging a Corona while some dudes in corpse paint performed on the nearby pool deck

Well at this time I need to throw in a small disclaimer: this article was written in the perspective of the writer and not Metal Storm as a whole. Metal Storm does NOT endorse or encourage excessive drinking, inappropriate behavior or other shenanigans.

I on the other hand, lol ...well, buy me a bucket (or two) of beer and watch me make a fool out of myself while singing "Dancing Queen" at 4am in the Karaoke bar (autographs available upon request). Hahaha, but all joking aside, I am going to represent Metal Storm on "Das Boot" and will do my best to portray a professional image. No promises though! And while we still have 5 plus months to go, some serious decisions already linger in the air. My travel buddy has the predicament of either loosing 20 pounds to show off his ripped abs or gain 20 ponds and partake in the belly flop competition. I will keep you posted.

Anyhoo, Ultimate Music Cruises Inc., out of British Columbia, Canada, who also organized the now infamous 70000 Tons Of Metal cruises, is putting things into faster gear with their newest adventure; "Barge To Hell - The World's Most Extreme Metal Cruise". An event where metal heads from all over the world can rock out to their favorite bands all while the refreshing breeze of the Atlantic Ocean is soothing their sunburned skin.

Totally off topic here, but while writing "sunburned skin" and "British Columbia" somehow the image of those so called "Snowbirds" came to mind. You know the senior citizens with their lavish motor homes who migrate into Arizona during the winter to escape the brutal cold of the North. Hmmm, not that I want to diss on Canadians (our Editor In Chief is from the Great White North and probably knows what I am talking aboot, eh Doc?), fair-skinned, or older people. Let's face it, here in a couple of years I myself can order from the senior menu at the local IHOP, but somehow this is what I picture when thinking about a cruise to an exotic destination. Anyhoo, back to the topic of extreme ship cruising!

Back in 2011, 70000 Tons Of Metal made a huge splash with their inaugural journey, transcending what a metal gig and the concept of backstage can and should be. According to their website, one can mingle side-by-side with the artists in this incredibly fan-friendly scenario that has no comparison. And to further this statement I was fishing online and found the following statistics for their 2nd cruise which took place just this past January:

2,051 paying passengers from 55 countries
(Out of those passengers, 25% came from Germany, 25% from USA with the next most represented country Canada, and 51% were returning passengers from 2011)
42 bands which included 452 band members, their roadies and family
100 journalists
and last but not least
879 crew members

All of the above sounds good and probably extremely manageable from an organizer's standpoint and not just good but fricking awesome from a fan's point of view. Unfortunately I missed the boat (pun intended) both times due to *insert lame excuse here* and can't even describe the excitement to be part of the first Barge To Hell cruise which consists of mostly death, black and thrash metal combos.

While the other two cruises had a more balanced assortment of musical talents, this one keeps the amount of "easy listening" and "dragon slaying" bands to a pleasant zero. Not that there is anything wrong with outfits like Blind Guardian, Edguy and HammerFall, I am a huge fan myself, but the idea of booking only extreme metal bands (and I am not talking about the kiddie core here) is, yup the best idea ever. *Stops to admire, like an art connoisseur over a work of genius*

The "Majesty Of The Seas", a cruise ship owned and operated by Royal Caribbean International will set sail out of Miami, FL on Monday, December 3rd en route to Nassau, Bahamas and return back to the mainland on Friday, December 7th. For the complete itinerary please click HERE. And just for shits and giggles, I googled "Barge". The Wikipedia article stated: A barge is a flat-bottomed boat, built mainly for river and canal transport of heavy goods. Hahaha ...and heavy goods it shall have.

What can I say? 40 bands and 2000 fans, 5 days and 4 nights, on a cruise ship! Nights, isn't this the time to rest your eyes and rejuvenate for the next day? Well about that, not gonna see this one happen! (Note to self; bring extra toothpicks to prop eyes open during the day.) And clearly this will be no ordinary gig with heavy hitter's such as At The Gates, Behemoth and Possessed, just to name a few already confirmed. As a matter of fact, right now there are 26 out of 40 bands listed on the Barge To Hell website. Check here for any updates and general info on the cruise.

Well you all know how to click a link, so I will not waste time to list each and every band that is already confirmed. And on a personal note; for me, a native German who has been living in the US for 20 plus years, well I am most excited to see ... you guessed it, Hackneyed. LOL, no, not really, even though Hackneyed is really bad ass. I am SO EXCITED (and yes I am screaming here) to see Holy Moses and Sodom. Hellz yes and stuff even!

In closing, the Barge To Hell website makes a very valid point in stating that one might even need a vacation from this vacation when all is said and done. By looking at the event's RSVPs on Metal Storm for the other cruises I am pretty sure those who attended will concur. And me? Well I shall let you know once I return back home and am done sleeping for probably 2 days straight. Or, if you don't hear back from me we probably got stuck in the Bermuda Triangle, or which is more likely, got hired by some pirates to do their dirty work.

Don't miss this one, and since some cabins are already sold out, get your butt in gear and click right here for availability and pricing. And speaking of pricing; your hard earned money will pay for: shipboard accommodations, ocean transportation, port charges, service charges, government taxes, meals, un-bottled non alcoholic and non carbonated beverages, daily room service and on board entertainment. So in other words, food is free, booze and soda ya have to pay!

In addition to watching all bands perform twice during the voyage and maybe share an adult beverage with one of your heroes, you will also have the opportunity to get all of your memorabilia signed at the Meet & Greet sessions. Band and cruise merchandise will be available for purchase as well. The ship also provides a spa, fitness center, casino and shit, so much more. Seriously, go to their website and check it out.

Special thanks to the Ultimate Music Cruises Management who decided that Metal Storm would be an awesome media partner addition to the cruise!

Ship Ahoy!