Metallica - Lulu [Collaboration] review
| Band: | Metallica |
| Album: | Lulu [Collaboration] |
| Style: | Alternative metal |
| Release date: | October 31, 2011 |
| A review by: | Daniell |
Disc I
01. Brandenburg Gate
02. The View
03. Pumping Blood
04. Mistress Dread
05. Iced Honey
06. Cheat On Me
Disc II
01. Frustration
02. Little Dog
03. Dragon
04. Junior Dad
Some people righteously claim that this is not a real Metallica release and thus it can't be viewed as such. I agree. Metallica decided to co-operate with Lou Reed in his interpretation of Alban Berg's opera based on Frank Wedekind's plays "Erdgeist" and "Die Büchse der Pandora". The history behind that opera is as complicated and dramatic as one can imagine, assuming what a dark story it tells.
But it all bears no significance at all. An ordinary listener will not give a damn about the literary predecessor that became grounds for this album. All an ordinary listener cares about is the music. And this is what is the biggest failure here. A gargantuan failure of biblical proportions. A debacle of misbegotten notions. A hapless heap of humungous refuse. Even the Apocalypse of John doesn't depict an event as catastrophic as this brainfart committed by a bunch of pretentious musicians and their misguided greed for mainstream recognition.
There isn't much to say about the music here. Metallica plods along with some recycled riffs (or lack thereof, see "Junior Dad"), boring drumming and generic singing, all that hidden ten fathoms under Lou Reed's mumbling. The mumbling that is so incredibly annoying, that I feel like shooting myself so that I can never hear it again.
Creating a piece of art isn't a conscious process. You sit down, write music, jam with your fellow bandmates, then record your endeavors, and if the general public, the history and fate decide that your work was brilliant, that it's a paragon of genius for generations to come, it will be so. But you can't calculate it. To me this is what Metallica and Lou Reed did. Tried to do. Failed miserably. Nuked all that remained of any shred of respect any fan could have for them. Genius arises by the way, not by calculation. How the fuck would they know that anyway.
Forgive lack of down-to-earth dissertation of the music. Forgive the dissonant style of this review. Only two things can make me write such a rant. Either utter genius or utter shitfest at the bottom of the cesspool of miscarried intentions. It shouldn't be hard to figure out which was the case this time.
Rating breakdown
| Performance: | 3 |
| Songwriting: | 2 |
| Originality: | 5 |
| Production: | 5 |
 | Written on 04.11.2011 by Writes overly honest and totally subjective reviews when fancy strikes him. Which is not often. Which is probably good, all things considered. |
Rating:
4.3
4.3
|
Rating: 4.3 |
Lulu brings back Metallica in a collaboration album with Lou Reed. A German visionary named Frank Wedekind wrote a collection of plays about a woman called Lulu who was both a muse and a mystery, the first form of woman. Most of the songs have death, sexuality, love and spite themes. Although it's not a Metallica album, the expectation was off the charts but the result is terrible. Read more ›› |
Rating:
7.4
7.4
|
Rating: 7.4 |
The worst thing you can possibly do is treat this like a Metallica album. It is not. Lulu is a Lou Reed album that just so happens to feature the guys from Metallica as his backing band. Of course, Metallica still had to go and put their name on it, which recklessly raised people's expectations, and the heavy criticism weighed at this album is largely true no matter how you spin it. Nonetheless, while this was a disappointment, it is not totally devoid of merit, and more of an interesting experiment than a Son-of-St. Anger-sized failure. Read more ›› |
Comments page 4 / 6
Comments: 163
Visited by: 1530 users
| Yavanna Posts: 616  |
Written by Merchant of Doom on 09.11.2011 at 12:11 Damn it... this things are not transmited here... it would be hilarious 
---- Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
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| Merchant of Doom Posts: 702  |
Written by Yavanna on 09.11.2011 at 12:44 Hilarious? it was torture! 
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| Yavanna Posts: 616 |
Written by Merchant of Doom on 09.11.2011 at 13:45 Well, I supose that I would laugh so loud that I would even listen to that thing they are playing
---- Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
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| Merchant of Doom Posts: 702 |
Written by Yavanna on 09.11.2011 at 13:50 don't forget to close your eyes too... some Parma ham would do just fine...
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| Qube Posts: 100  |
Written by Merchant of Doom on 09.11.2011 at 13:45 Indeed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hFhBbIP26s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wbBkgg7F8I
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| eyeofthebeholder Posts: 17  |
Pretty good music on this album...I will listen more times to it before I can have a real opinion
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Elite Posts: 40071  |
Written by eyeofthebeholder on 09.11.2011 at 23:53 I guess you haven't heard much music in your life. This is some of the worst, if the worst, musoc ever recorded. 
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996 
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493  |
Written by eyeofthebeholder on 09.11.2011 at 23:53 It's 14-year olds like you who make people doubt that rational, grind-death-wtf-lovin' 13-year olds like me exist. Shame on you, sir.
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| RockeRoy Posts: 641  |
I actually had a pretty positive listening to some songs on this hated album yesterday. i didn't like it at all the first few listens, but yesterday it was quite plessant. Maybe this album is a real grower. I don't know yet, and thats why i haven't rated it. I guess moast people here never will give it the time it might need to grow on you. and i don't blame you:) i might be realy fucking wrong, but i know what i heard yesterday.
---- You found god? If nobody claims him in thirty days, he's yours Walk with me in hell
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| Daniell _爱情_ Elite Posts: 6101  |
Written by RockeRoy on 10.11.2011 at 11:51 If it didn't grow on me after 5 actual listens, it never will. I'm scarred for life anyway.
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| Jvenned Posts: 4  |
An artsy fartsy concept album written by dried up musicians is most certain to fail miserably.... I'm not saying it's a bad album or anything like that. All I'm saying is that you could get a broom and dip it some brake fluid, put the other end up my ass, stick me on a trampoline in a moving elevator and I would write a better album on the wall.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
Written by vezzy on 10.11.2011 at 11:31 Still not convinced.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Slayer666 Posts: 2466  |
Written by vezzy on 10.11.2011 at 11:31 Nice try, VezzyLiarHead. Even your YouTube says you're 20, and we all know nobody ever lied about being over 18 so they could watch flagged videos.
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493 |
Written by Slayer666 on 10.11.2011 at 21:28 I originally set it up as 19, one up over 18, not just so I can watch flagged videos, but because it's fancier than 18. If I actually posted my real age, I wouldn't get a lot of positive comments, would I? But, what can I say, I am flattered that you find me much more mature than what my age would imply, you Tito-lovin' git.
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Void Eater Account deleted |
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718  |
Written by the devil on 11.11.2011 at 04:20 I'm glad we've come that close to meeting your approval. I'm flattered.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=111774] on 11.11.2011 at 04:37 You know he's a troll, right?
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Daniell _爱情_ Elite Posts: 6101 |
You guys are not getting it. If you read between the lines, you will see who wrote the post.
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675  |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.11.2011 at 08:34 There seems to be an overwhelming amount of trolls on this site lately...
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493 |
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Daniell on 11.11.2011 at 10:01 Symphony X was the biggest give-away. I was confused for a minute since his post lacked any racial slurs.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675 |
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| Daniell _爱情_ Elite Posts: 6101 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.11.2011 at 10:13 Funnily enough, I love Symphony X and rated 2 of their albums with a 10
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374  |
Written by [user id=105293] on 09.11.2011 at 11:40 How cute, you must be incredibly butthurt about the fact that everyone was (is) against you to still writting about it. Your argument is invalid as there's a main difference: the major opinion is that the movie is good, in this case the major opinion about Lulu is that the album sucks. In other words... you're just seeking attention here, cute indeed... You succeded on that. 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Admin Posts: 15287  |
Fyi i just deleted fuckstick's post. no point in allowing him to leave any taint.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=17278] on 11.11.2011 at 18:15 Most of us agree with you but people who don't hate this need a reason to believe we're the ones with the problem so they come up with these ludicrous ideas.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| !J.O.O.E.! Account deleted |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=4365] on 11.11.2011 at 19:22 Nobody here is thinking about you. >>
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| !J.O.O.E.! Account deleted |
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