Metal Storm logo
Six Feet Under - Graveyard Classics IV: The Number Of The Priest review



Reviewer:
4.8

70 users:
3.83
Band: Six Feet Under
Album: Graveyard Classics IV: The Number Of The Priest
Style: Death metal
Release date: May 2016


01. Night Crawler [Judas Priest cover]
02. Starbreaker [Judas Priest cover]
03. Genocide [Judas Priest cover]
04. Invader [Judas Priest cover]
05. Never Satisfied [Judas Priest cover]
06. Murders In The Rue Morgue [Iron Maiden cover]
07. Prowler [Iron Maiden cover]
08. Flash Of The Blade [Iron Maiden cover]
09. The Evil That Men Do [Iron Maiden cover]
10. Stranger In A Strange Land [Iron Maiden cover]
11. Total Eclipse [Iron Maiden cover]

You know what? It's not the worst album I've heard this month. I've made it my business over the last four years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds just as he has his own vocal cords, but I like to think that I have the capacity to give credit where credit is due, even if I have been waiting to pulverize Graveyard Classics IV for four years. Strange as it may seem, Graveyard Classics IV doesn't leave an eternal, indelible stain on the face of music quite as large or unsightly as its three forebears.

In the past, I've relied on Six Feet Under's poor instrumental performance to act as a get-ouf-of-jail-free card for my reviews - a way to say, "even if you don't hate Chris Barnes's voice as much as I do, this band still sucks." I may have to start looking for a new backup plan, because between the occasional outpourings of six-string flair and the pounding, ominous drums of "Night Crawler," Graveyard Classics IV definitely features the strongest performances of any 6FU album I've reviewed thus far, a circumstance which mitigates the overall retch factor. Of course, all I really mean is that the band no longer sounds like a bunch of randies off the street churning out demos in the drummer's mom's basement. Half the time the band still isn't playing in time with itself, the whole album is pretty low-octane, and I'm so worried about whether or not 6FU can even play the songs correctly that it took several tries before I could consider whether or not these guys play the songs well. The album's overall tone and atmosphere are much more reflective than usual of a professional recording environment and some level of solid effort, but going from "absolute dreck" to "nearly mediocre" is not the same as making a listenable piece of music.

As if it has to be said, Chris hasn't improved. No, no; heaven forbid. When I heard Chris say, "You can see it, girl," in "Prowler," I nearly vomited; his attempts to be casual, rhythmic, or "mate-y" feel peculiarly uncomfortable and morally objectionable, like if Akercocke showed up at your house, drank all your orange juice straight from the carton, and then kicked your dog. His cancerous belch at the end of the same song drives home just how poor of a decision he made by not retiring 20 years ago. In case you had never thought about it, yes, it is absolutely possible to growl in the wrong key, and boy, does Chris have a master class in store. It's one thing to ruin a fabulous vocal line once performed by Rob Halford or Bruce Dickinson, but it's another thing entirely to screw up so badly that the single note you actually hit isn't even the right note in any way. In fact, the disgusting monstrosity of "Murders In The Rue Morgue" and the laughable horror show of "The Evil That Men Do" make it seem like Chris has gotten worse since last we heard him.

Now that I've had my fill of Barnes-burning, I do have to give credit to Brian Slagel for his track list selection here. It's nice to see "Invader" and "Stranger In A Strange Land" rather than the ten millionth cover versions of "Living After Midnight" and "Wrathchild." On the other hand, when performed with all the passion of a misanthropic invalid held at gunpoint, even tremendous songs like "Night Crawler" or "Murders In The Rue Morgue" sound about as exciting and dynamic as Brownian motion.

I do have to admit to a certain and incredibly obvious level of personal bias against Chris Barnes; he was never going to escape this review unscathed. My own prejudices aside, this album still offers nothing inventive, nothing special, nothing compelling - just a selection of rote and lifeless carbon copies of great songs played with less personality, less inspiration, and so much less purpose than the original incarnations. Graveyard Classics IV might be somewhat better than the last three, but it is equally pointless.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 5
Songwriting: 8
Originality: 2
Production: 6





Written on 28.05.2016 by I'm the reviewer, and that means my opinion is correct.

Guest review by
tominator
Rating:
3.9
Ehm... yeah... this is, uhm... not good...

A friend of mine gave me this CD about a month-and-a-half ago. He had bought a bunch of metal CDs in a box at a flea market. Since he knew that I'm a huge fan of both Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, he gave this CD to me. All cover songs of Priest and Maiden. Could be interesting, I thought.

Read more ››
published 09.03.2017 | Comments (0)


Comments

Comments: 29   Visited by: 370 users
28.05.2016 - 11:16
LeChron James
Helvetesfossen
I'm assuming the songwriting got an 8 because it was at that caliber before Chris Barnes ruined everything? Seriously, I don't understand why he still makes these albums. They aren't good and everyone hates them.
----
Kick Ass, Die Young

Less is More
Stay Pure
Stay Poor

Music was my life, music brought me to life and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life. When I die there will be a final waltz in my head that only I can hear.
Loading...
28.05.2016 - 12:31
Overrwatcher
Six Feet Under being reviewed? Oh boy...

Quote:
In case you had never thought about it, yes, it is absolutely possible to growl in the wrong key, and boy, does Chris have a master class in store.


Oh my god, I'm dying. This is amazing.
----
Overr's List Of Worthwhile Deathcore Albums

Written by Dr. Strawberry on 12.06.2016 at 19:43

Overwatcher, MS Xena, crumbled him in no time. MS needs you to kill the boredom in here.
Loading...
28.05.2016 - 12:59
Coconut Racecar
Of all the shitty, low quality bands I like. This is not one of them. Band has never appealed to me, grown on me or even interested me. But, I still keep them in my "favorite bands" list along with all the others because you never know what they might release...

Why do they have such a significant presence anyway? Because of Chris? And to clarify, I mean how many people know of this band, which is a lot.
Loading...
28.05.2016 - 16:35
Rating: 4
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Admin
Written by LeChron James on 28.05.2016 at 11:16

I'm assuming the songwriting got an 8 because it was at that caliber before Chris Barnes ruined everything? Seriously, I don't understand why he still makes these albums. They aren't good and everyone hates them.

I'm always amused by how I have to score the Graveyard Classics albums, because everything is always a 2, 3, 4... and then 8 or 9 for songwriting.
Written by Coconut Racecar on 28.05.2016 at 12:59

Why do they have such a significant presence anyway? Because of Chris? And to clarify, I mean how many people know of this band, which is a lot.

I would say it's almost certainly because of Chris. They're an incredibly generic death metal band otherwise - though maybe that fact makes them more digestible to a wider audience? I guess they also aren't terribly extreme or complex, which helps, and perhaps the cover albums have actually contributed to 6FU's popularity somehow. Whatever the case, this is a crime against nature.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
28.05.2016 - 17:12
Karlabos
Meat and Potatos
Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 28.05.2016 at 16:35

I'm always amused by how I have to score the Graveyard Classics albums, because everything is always a 2, 3, 4... and then 8 or 9 for songwriting.

But... They didn't even write the songs...
----
"Aah! The cat turned into a cat!"
- Reimu Hakurei
Loading...
28.05.2016 - 18:45
psykometal
A staff guy...
Elite
Written by Karlabos on 28.05.2016 at 17:12

But... They didn't even write the songs...

That's the whole point. Because the songs were not originally written by Barnes and company, the songwriting itself is pretty good.
----
~Zep, Database and Forum Moderation~

Loading...
28.05.2016 - 18:50
Necrotion7
Quote:
But... They didn't even write the songs...

to be honest, I think that's the point.
Loading...
29.05.2016 - 00:12
cossaisVendeurs
The only good thing about this album is the cover art.

And even that's fucking shit.
Loading...
29.05.2016 - 02:37
SilentScream
Blasphemer
I couldn't finish the first track. Horrendous. Amazingly bad.
Loading...
29.05.2016 - 03:09
Marcel Hubregtse
Grumpy Old Fuck
Elite
Six Feet Under being as terrible as ever even though Chris thinks they are all awesome.
----
Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal

Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight
Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.)
05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996

Loading...
29.05.2016 - 03:14
zikon
How to ruin good classic songs: By adding Chris Barnes on vocals.

Fucking wish his dreadlocks would strangle his stupid face then no more Barnes!
----
"The poetry of the earth is never dead" John Keats
Loading...
29.05.2016 - 04:00
Maco
Pvt Funderground
Now I know which band I can count on whenever I want to lower my average rating of my votes.
----
Crackhead Megadeth reigns supreme.
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 00:04
Opethian
I own the first Graveyard Classic album and its solid, but after that they just became a beacon for utter shit. Same could be said for SFU nowadays. Chris's vocals are shot as fuck ... shame
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 00:08
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Classic songs not made for death metal at all, and this band suscks, singer has band voice and all songs, song writing and studio things is lame in most of cases, unless its like early albums
Does this band makes some money? I think bevais n bullhead do more better job in Burger world as this band plays DM
----
I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens.

Stormtroopers of Death - "Speak English or Die"

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 03:43
Timelord
I personally think you shouldn't be reviewing ANY SFU albums. You have waited 4 years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds? How much more juvenile can you get. You think they suck so everybody else has to as well? Easy fix- don't listen to them and let somebody who doesn't have some sort of obsession of "ripping chris barnes to shreds" review the album for the music.
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 04:46
Karlabos
Meat and Potatos
Everybody is ditching this so bad. I should probably check it out. It certainly won't be bland
----
"Aah! The cat turned into a cat!"
- Reimu Hakurei
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 05:34
Rating: 4
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Admin
Written by Timelord on 30.05.2016 at 03:43

I personally think you shouldn't be reviewing ANY SFU albums. You have waited 4 years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds? How much more juvenile can you get. You think they suck so everybody else has to as well? Easy fix- don't listen to them and let somebody who doesn't have some sort of obsession of "ripping chris barnes to shreds" review the album for the music.

I'd have reviewed this album for the music if there were any music to be found therein.

I do hate Six Feet Under, but I don't have any serious vendetta against Chris Barnes. I just think that 6FU sucks, it's a lot of fun to review the albums, and people generally seem to enjoy the results. It's not like I'm forcing anybody else to agree with my opinion, although, judging by every other comment on this review, most people more or less share my sentiments anyway.

This isn't really a standard sort of review, but it's not for a standard sort of album. This is #4 in an incredibly consistent series, and even if it weren't Graveyard Classics IV, 6FU never really brings anything new to the table. Any idiot could have told you precisely what this album would sound like long before its release, or even before its conception. If you want to know what this album sounds like musically, read my reviews of Graveyard Classics I or II and then throw in whatever else I've added in this particular review for good measure. There's just less to say about the music the fourth time around than the first time, since almost nothing really changes. That does then raise the question of why I continue reviewing if I have little more to say, but I promised myself that I would review the Graveyard Classics series so long as Chris continued to release new installments. These albums are even more pointless, stupid, and unprofessional than my reviews of them.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
30.05.2016 - 19:45
VIG
Account deleted
It sucks
Loading...
01.06.2016 - 08:26
Overrwatcher
I have to ask, if this isn't the worst thing you've heard all month, what is?

What could possibly be worse than this?
----
Overr's List Of Worthwhile Deathcore Albums

Written by Dr. Strawberry on 12.06.2016 at 19:43

Overwatcher, MS Xena, crumbled him in no time. MS needs you to kill the boredom in here.
Loading...
01.06.2016 - 16:41
Karlabos
Meat and Potatos
^radio perhaps?
----
"Aah! The cat turned into a cat!"
- Reimu Hakurei
Loading...
01.06.2016 - 18:40
Rating: 4
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Admin
Written by Overrwatcher on 01.06.2016 at 08:26

I have to ask, if this isn't the worst thing you've heard all month, what is?

What could possibly be worse than this?

Written by Karlabos on 01.06.2016 at 16:41

^radio perhaps?

I've definitely heard worse stuff on the radio, though in terms of actual albums I was thinking of the Kitties of Death one I reviewed. The performance and production are several steps below 6FU (vocals aside, obviously), and the songwriting also doesn't have the benefit of originating from Maiden or Priest.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
01.06.2016 - 21:21
Rating: 4
Dave FC
What a piece of shit. I'm not surprised. This could be better without Barnes.
The only good thing is the solo from Stranger In A Strange Land (one of my fav Maiden songs)... and it's nearly the same as the original.
Loading...
01.06.2016 - 21:25
Rating: 4
Dave FC
This drummer is really bad... am I wrong?
Loading...
02.06.2016 - 15:20
musclassia
Staff
Looked up Invader on youtube, a few seconds of poor quality cover music and then the vocals came in and I nearly laughed out loud. What the hell? I've never liked CC but at least I can see something in Hammer Smashed Face vocals to see why they would be popular. Time has not been kind apparently, that was embarrasing

Written by Dave FC on 01.06.2016 at 21:25

This drummer is really bad... am I wrong?


Sounds like he's struggling to play a simple beat, but not helped by how bad the production on the drums are
Loading...
06.06.2016 - 03:07
Opethian
Written by Timelord on 30.05.2016 at 03:43

I personally think you shouldn't be reviewing ANY SFU albums. You have waited 4 years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds? How much more juvenile can you get. You think they suck so everybody else has to as well? Easy fix- don't listen to them and let somebody who doesn't have some sort of obsession of "ripping chris barnes to shreds" review the album for the music.


Well said and that can be said for many other reviewers who just want to 'Shred' an album and or artist! Very insightful! Thank you!
Loading...
06.06.2016 - 11:02
Overrwatcher
Written by Timelord on 30.05.2016 at 03:43

I personally think you shouldn't be reviewing ANY SFU albums. You have waited 4 years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds? How much more juvenile can you get. You think they suck so everybody else has to as well? Easy fix- don't listen to them and let somebody who doesn't have some sort of obsession of "ripping chris barnes to shreds" review the album for the music.


Being so dedicated to ripping someone to shreds also means that you are more likely to be surprised if they do something actually good. Think about all of the critics who hated Bring Me The Horizon or Annotations Of An Autopsy with a passion and were genuinely surprised when they released a good album. They were saying stuff like "I was going in expecting to rip this album to shreds, but I really can't, this actually legitimately good". Hell, I'm known for my Asking Alexandria hate and I was surprised when their latest album was actually pretty good.

SSUS even said that it's better than the average Six Feet Under album if you look past how much of a mockery they make of the originals, and it's not the worst album he's heard this month. If the album were good, he would say it.
----
Overr's List Of Worthwhile Deathcore Albums

Written by Dr. Strawberry on 12.06.2016 at 19:43

Overwatcher, MS Xena, crumbled him in no time. MS needs you to kill the boredom in here.
Loading...
09.06.2016 - 15:05
vitorc
Of course you won't like it if you are a maiden/priest fan waiting for some improvement ovet the originals. It's not meant to be original, it's meant to be raw and bad. That's the beauty of it.
Loading...
18.09.2016 - 14:21
Pikemaster
The Evil That Men Do makes me laugh every time. Vocals are just so passionate.
----
"Soon its tail raises the mud
The beast is ready for attack
The reel screams the line beings to run
And the struggle shall begin"
Loading...
17.10.2016 - 07:01
Timelord
Written by Overrwatcher on 06.06.2016 at 11:02

Written by Timelord on 30.05.2016 at 03:43

I personally think you shouldn't be reviewing ANY SFU albums. You have waited 4 years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds? How much more juvenile can you get. You think they suck so everybody else has to as well? Easy fix- don't listen to them and let somebody who doesn't have some sort of obsession of "ripping chris barnes to shreds" review the album for the music.


Being so dedicated to ripping someone to shreds also means that you are more likely to be surprised if they do something actually good. Think about all of the critics who hated Bring Me The Horizon or Annotations Of An Autopsy with a passion and were genuinely surprised when they released a good album. They were saying stuff like "I was going in expecting to rip this album to shreds, but I really can't, this actually legitimately good". Hell, I'm known for my Asking Alexandria hate and I was surprised when their latest album was actually pretty good.

SSUS even said that it's better than the average Six Feet Under album if you look past how much of a mockery they make of the originals, and it's not the worst album he's heard this month. If the album were good, he would say it.


You are missing my point. He said he has waited FOUR YEARS to do a hit piece. REALLY??! Is it that important and on your mind? This was a pre-determined conclusion no matter what. But hey, it is not in the least bit important in any way. I am surprised I even responded as I normally wouldn't even come back after I had my say.
Loading...

Hits total: 7859 | This month: 15