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Poison - Open Up And Say... Ahh! review



Reviewer:
6.5

32 users:
7.03
Band: Poison
Album: Open Up And Say... Ahh!
Release date: May 1988


01. Love On The Rocks
02. Nothin' But A Good Time
03. Back To The Rocking Horse
04. Good Love
05. Tearin' Down The Walls
06. Look But You Can't Touch
07. Fallen Angel
08. Every Rose Has Its Thorn
09. Your Mama Don't Dance [Loggins And Messina cover]
10. Bad To Be Good


Even though I primarily listen to the heavier side of metal, I've reviewed and enjoyed a fair few glam metal albums over the years; indeed, I have a somewhat soft spot for the over-the-top, 'so cheesy it would kill a lactose intolerant person', pop rock that glam offers. In three years reviewing albums I never got round to the creme-de-la-crap that is Poison, a band that even glamsters acknowledge as the cheesiest of them all.

So how did Poison come to earn such a reputation? Well, if you can bare to open the album up after seeing its cover, then you will understand how. Open Up And Say... Ahh! is the kind of album you enjoy despite how bad it is, having a naive charm to it that endears itself to you in an odd way.

If there was a musicial equivalent of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, then Poison knew how to game it to their own advantage. Sure, they couldn't hit the higher parts of the hierarchy with their limited abilities, but they ensured to scratch the lower parts consistently enough to seemingly get a passing grade.

From the fun and upbeat party anthems of "Back To The Rocking Horse" and "Tearin' Down The Walls" to the better-known "Nuthin' But A Good Time" and power ballad superhit "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", each track is empty calories, yet somehow you can't help but indulge on them on occasion (however, much like empty calories, they are best left as occasional snacks).

C.C. DeVille offers imitation rock riffs, with the likes of "Good Love" and "Fallen Angel" presented well, but having little meat on the bone. However, in service of the song overall, his playing fits well and, well, they work when a part of the bigger picture. The same can be said of Rockett and Dall; they offer little individually, but the songs couldn't work without them.

Of course, you then have singer-cum-reality star Brett Michaels, the lightning rod atop a lightning rod. Frontman aside, in the context of this album review, he is a passable singer, though one that cannot convey emotion through his voice. If AI were to develop a vocalist then Micheals would be it, for he ticks the boxes on tracks like "Love On The Rocks", but does so in unconvincing fashion. Say what you like about less technically proficient singers, but if you can't connect with your audience then you fail at the basics.

So why should you enjoy Open Up And Say... Ahh! if it is as flawed as I say? Well, despite all the shortcomings, the band ensure to write a catchy hook and a track that you carry on listening to despite its low quality. "Nuthin' But A Good Time" perhaps epitomises this; the lower end of the hierarchy is hit so squarely and powerfully that you can't help but revert to it for a quick dopamine fix.

So bad it's good? No, it's still bad, but it's fun at the very least.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 6
Songwriting: 6
Originality: 5
Production: 6





Written on 07.01.2023 by Just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.


Comments

Comments: 9   Visited by: 28 users
08.01.2023 - 12:30
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
I like this band
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Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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08.01.2023 - 12:55
JoHn DoE

Written by Bad English on 08.01.2023 at 12:30

I like this band


serioiusly?!! one of the worst bands to come out of the glam scene. The beginning of the end for the MTV rock scene.
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I thought the two primary purposes for the internet were cat memes and overreactions.
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08.01.2023 - 13:27
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by JoHn DoE on 08.01.2023 at 12:55

Written by Bad English on 08.01.2023 at 12:30

I like this band


serioiusly?!! one of the worst bands to come out of the glam scene. The beginning of the end for the MTV rock scene.

Better as many modern extreme bands
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
08.01.2023 - 13:29
JoHn DoE

Written by Bad English on 08.01.2023 at 13:27

Written by JoHn DoE on 08.01.2023 at 12:55

Written by Bad English on 08.01.2023 at 12:30

I like this band


serioiusly?!! one of the worst bands to come out of the glam scene. The beginning of the end for the MTV rock scene.

Better as many modern extreme bands


I very much doubt that. You also have to give an example. What modern extreme bands?
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I thought the two primary purposes for the internet were cat memes and overreactions.
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08.01.2023 - 13:42
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Whole djent, math scene.
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Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
08.01.2023 - 14:08
Rating: 9
EloZ

You have to put the band in the context, the era and the genre. Poison are a trademark for the 80's, like Motley Crue, Faster Pussycat, Guns'n' Roses, Pretty Boy Floyd, Great White, Ratt, L.A. Guns, Skid Row.... An entire army of glam metal bands populated the end of the 80's. I was there...and I have to say that Poison were one the best bands around. Maybe popular, catchy, a little bit posers...but that's the spirit of every glam metal band. And for the music, I think they are not better nor worse that the average glam metal band of those days. Maybe not the best album (I personally prefer the more mature Flesh & Blood or Native Tongue), but anyway...a milestone of the genre. When you talk about personal taste and opinion, everything is legit, but (in my opinion), the review is merciless! And I'm a black metal dude! As an example, most of the black metal bands of the start, were absolutely shit in terms of musical skills, but they define an era. Darkthrone, Burzum, Mayhem, Immortal: two badly executed riffs "ad libitum" and screamings like a strangled hen...but they will be always remembered like pioneers of the genre.
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08.01.2023 - 15:07
JoHn DoE

Written by Bad English on 08.01.2023 at 13:42

Whole djent, math scene.


apples and oranges
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I thought the two primary purposes for the internet were cat memes and overreactions.
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08.01.2023 - 18:04
A Real Monkey

I don’t much care for their music but they’re good fun live, even after all this time. They definitely have most of the boring ass modern metal bands beat in that department.
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"Change the world. My final message. Goodbye."

~Last words of Harambe, seconds before he was shot, according to child he shielded from gunfire
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02.02.2023 - 00:21
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Written by EloZ on 08.01.2023 at 14:08

You have to put the band in the context, the era and the genre. Poison are a trademark for the 80's, like...


Wasn't a fan of glam back in the day, but Poison were more fun catchier party music than the rest of the pack. I still have the Reel Big Fish cover of "Nothing but a Good Time" in rotation in a couple of my playlists.

And Glam itself was split into two basic points... Initially it was more "METAL!" with early Motley Crue, Ratt, etc. Had a little more balls to it until MC released "Home Sweet Home" and it got all the girlies interested. At that point MTV pivoted from Crue, Ratt, Iron Maiden, Priest, etc to more and more Poison, Skid Row, Bullet Boys, Warrant, Winger and the rest of the Power Ballad movement.
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get the fuck off my lawn.

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