I'm looking for exit
I'm trying to escape
Escape from this world
Escape from myself
I have no sense
In my damn life


Nothing to save
All I have lost
That I've thought little of
I'm a cause
All I destroyed
No more hugs,
No more words.

I had senseless values
I was blind fool
Was eager to have money
And richness adored
Though it was mightful
Did not prevent mishap

My creed's destroyed,
Life lost its scense
Colours began to fade
What should I live for?
I want to forget all,
And hide, disappear

Suddenly snow
Piercing wind and snow-storm
I don't see my way
Do not know where I am
I feel a something
Is going to occur
I can't go back
I entered strange world

Spot of light in deepest woods
Brought me hope
I walk there struggling
Piercing wind and snow
Chill chained my body and my soul
I fell and rose through pain
There is no way back, nothing to lose.

I trod my way long
Then saw trees felling back
Enlightened something
Cleared darkness
I'm stunned hypnotized
I touched the light
My mind was caught
By images of past
I curdled terrified.

Ghosts of the past
Encircled me,
Events and acts of my disgust
I've tried to forget.
I can't confide it
I can't accept!

Light slid away
I was suppressed
Horror and fear chained me
Woods closed down
I felt restrained
Memories agonized
I can't stand it!
No way! No more!
I paced for my way out
But cut my hands to blood
This woods turned into curse
I rushed, the panic burst
There's no escape!
I don't know why!

Ghosts of past,
Black figures of my sins
I slaughtered them
From memory.
Nothing to change!
I'd better die!

I feel I'm going insane
It's punishment for all I've done
I'm in hell, It's time to pay!

At a breaking point
When I can't go on
Exhausting oneself
And feeling distressed
Look back,
You'll find no sense
It's time to take chance
And change all the life
There's nothing left.

Silence came
Ghosts gone away
I felt desolate and hollowed
My life just vanished
I tried to find my minds
I couldn't get Its real.
It must be a trial
Choosing your living path
Remember other's life
I am to blame myself alone
Unknown power attracts
It is snow of my past
It is woods of my soul

I feel I'm going insane
It's punishment for all I've done
I'm in hell, It's time to pay!

At a breaking point
When I can't go on
Exhausting oneself
And feeling distressed
Look back,
You'll find no sense
It's time to take chance
And change all the life
There's no other way

Curse woods fell back
Fading blaze I saw
I sensed the glowing hope
Forced myself to rise
I waded snow too deep
I threw off my disguise
I feel my soul still lives

At the end of dense forest
I see a snowy gloomy plain
With hill beyond. I want to get that hill.
I stick in snow, sharp pain I feel.
And freezing blood runs in my body,
I'm chilled to bones by deadly frost,
I hear voices everywhere
Recalling me what I have done.

How can I find exit from this icy hell,
Severe chill wrapped up my body.
If I don't hide in any place
I'll kick the bucket anyway.

Having reached that hill
I see mysterious hut,
I feel excited, I am directed there,
And having reached that shelter
I pull the heavy wooden door.
I enter into old pitch-darkness.
Somewhere in the heart of hut
I see white-headed elder

Everytime
I see shadows of the past
Never
I'll be able to change what I've done,
I was blind and now I pay for mistakes.
What for
Why I've come here, in that strange place?
Who says
If it's the place where I'll get answers
And put in order my roving thoughts.

The elder fixes eyes on me,
We tacitly look at each other.
He says: "You are from dirty world,
From world of frauds, from world of falsehood.
Illusions govern people's lives
And hide the truth from their minds.
You all are slaves of damn illusions,
You don't have chance to see the light.

You drift through life along the way
That leads you to deadlock one day,
You fill the Earth with useless trash
Turning fast human potential to ash.
You make machines instead of working,
Instead of mastering your skills.
And you yourself, you wanted to get answers
That's why here you came".

Everytime
During one's living
Untruth
Surrounds people.
Only after waking one can start true living.
Don't doubt!
We hear from everywhere
Enough!
It cannot last forever
Changes come from oneself
Speech
Don't be afraid of frost
Accept it and it'll give you power to self-development
Nature cannot do any harm
It'll help you to open your hidden ability.

I haven't fought against the chill,
I have accept frost, I've got its power,
A lot of thoughts, evoked by elder,
Are crowding in my head

How could people loose their way
Abyss is the only issue
Don't want to bear with it,
How could I live this way,
People are parts of internal machine
People should come to themselves
While they still have time

What do we come in this world for?
For leading a meaningless fast life?
Are people really created for
Becoming similar to beasts?

Suddenly I've seen a rum lake,
With mysterious bright shine
Coming nearer I've seen a vision
Strange alluring World with shining men

World, full of perfect concord,
Men with infinite skills

I've seen a lot of strangers
Having invaded the fine world
They have sowed the dissension and disbalance
They've parted World, enthralled the men

Those strangers perverted the truth,
They've destroyed pure ideals.
Strangers have held sway over natives,
Concord turned into slavery.

I've seen the World where I came from,
Where men are fuddled with grim lie,
Illusion of liberty has dazzled them
And hidden gist of slavery.

World, full of broken lots,
Men with bounded senses.

All of a sudden I've seen myself among these zombies,
I've been a tool in these priests' hands,
I've made an arm that ruined my life.

The sights have vanished in the gloom of lake,
They've left just grayish ice.
I've realized how world became enslaved
And how the truth sank into lie.

It's time to open eyes and look at the truth,
Admit reality.
It's time to understand one's sense of life
And live in concord with oneself.

I slipped through endless forest
And saw a fenced around town
A lot of ruins under snow
And far and wide enigmatic ghosts
Appeared at onceand vanished
And whisper reached my ears

I entered the square with ice round pond.
And in the center I saw small font .
Whispering voices merged into phrase:
"Sink here, sink" and I obeyed.

Sinking with head I came up in town
Town which came to life again:
decrepit ruins turned a beautiful buildings
with an incredibly complex design

People wearing white cassocks walked
I tried to accost but was unseen
They learnt Universe, did spiritual practices.

At the end of the World
Among passless woods
There's the unseen sourсe of forgotten truth
Which you can reach only having pure heart
And entering here you open your eyes at once

Ancient town's town where enlightened live.
It's like a window into the deep past.
Ancient town's town of those who found
Harmony and universal truth.

Force of thoughts is the means of talking,
Voice is used only for spiritual needs
With help of throat singing
They can move heavy things
And rule elements of nature,
Dominate other creatures' wits.

Main road spiral leads me to the central square
Where lots of people formed a circle.
In the heart of the town they all are in a trance
Around gigantic occult stone with three holes

Here they get in touch with other worlds.
Pagan priest puts amulets into these holes
And the model of the Universe appears at once
With all endless galaxies.

He moves his arms round this image
Immersing into exact place
Until he sees those
Whom he wants to talk with.

Ancient town's town where enlightened live.
It's like a window into the deep past.
Ancient town's town of those who found
Harmony and universal truth.
Ancient town's town where enlightened live.
It's like a window into the deep past.
Ancient town's town like a model
Of an ideal world to Stay forever at
(Ancient town's town like a window into the deep past.
Ancient town's model of ideal world to stay forever at)

Once again watching this connection
I saw him nearing to solar system,
He searched the Earth, that very town
Lost somewhere deep in Siberia.
Suddenly there I saw myself

And He said: "Your way won't be easy
People lost their spiritual sight:
The highest sense of being is harmony
You'll understand the essence of Universe when find it."

At the end of the World

Escaping from myself
I came to be at abyss:
This struggle that was inside me
Distracted me, teased my soul
Distracted me
I am at
The crossroad of
Life and death

I didn't know who I was.
What was my destiny?
Speech
Being in the endless stream of senseless problems
The breath of life overpasses
And we don't see the main things

Other people's desires
Fill our hearts and life passes
Via other people's script.
And only after coming here
I suddenly began to see
Yeah! I was blind fool
The hardest thing is
to fight off own fears
To do the first step

I woke up after long sleep
Ending
Cold air will give me a lot of strength
Wind will show me my path
And I go on the way to know myself
And I'll reach my goal
To know peace, to know harmony

Opening
I struggled my way
Throughout deep woods
Following North Star.
I stepped on the small path
By fallen trees
And saw glimpse somewhere far

I stumbled on a square.
Archaic cromlech in the middle
Showed me four epochs.
Four ancient temples cornered it
I chose the first one
Named Temple of Serenity

Dazzled by the radiance
I stepped to sanctuary
Dipped hand into the light
Bright vision appeared before my eyes

The whole universe
Breathes perfect harmony
Spiritual culture prosperity
Gigantic people
attain hundred thousand years
They're of transcendent capacity
And superior intelligence
Unaware of ignorance and sin

It took my breath away
It was ideal perfect realm
I was not ready to fathom
Regained my consciousness
I eagerly stepped to the next
Appeared Temple of Mercy

I saw obscure glow
And stepped to sanctuary
Dipped hand into the light
There came striking insight

Humanity has changed
Everything transformed
People still spiritual powerful
But lost the austerity
They live ten thousand years.
It's reign of mercy, purity
And honor that force to sacrifice
To bloody vile rites degrade
Put the trust to fate

Deeply whirling my mind
Many questions dug me up
What was the main reason
Why had regress begun
I entered the third fane
Named Temple of Discord
Struggling Sinister presage
I spread my hand to light

People lapsed
Lost inner innocence
They suffer from diseases
And live no longer thousand years
Have split to castes
They sank into the endless wars
I fear to look
Into next temple

I am shocked
I can't come to myself
Everywhere I see rows
Of burnt down towns
Burnt down fields and woods
Mankind crushed the planet
Devouring peoples,
Killing entire kinds of animals

Bloody sights of the past
Are going before my eyes
I feel I can't stand
All these things
I've realized that
For last four millennium
The age of death and torture
Has been lasting

Civilizations were lost in а moral corruption
Savages seized them and destroyed the culture
There was horror all over the land
Blood flooded both east and west

Seeing mankind's bloom on the eve
I am at loss to understand
That decay of morals
Why did people break
Sacred harmony of the Universe
And turned paradise into hell

People were hang on cramps-iron
Trampled under feet of horses
They built walls from corpse
Furious crowds sated thirst for blood
Torture instruments all the time
Improved beginning from
Fires, crosses, axes
To electric chairs and gas chambers

History's written in bloody ink
I'm watching it like horror film
I'm probably lost insane.
Our endless envy and greed

Put us on this way
Last four millennium's been
Age of death and torture.

Suddenly my heart as if has stopped
I see myself at that fatal moment.
My mistake's triggered monstrous process
And has led to global plague

Toxic chemical agent got to water
Slick covered all the oceans
Water stopped to vaporize
Tsunamis, tornadoes, earthquakes
Were all over the earth,
They swept aside everything in their path
The earth cleared itself.
It was saving from death.

There happened great tragedy
Poles shifted, some continents sank
Chill locked all the earth.
The Ice Age began
And in a moment most of people died
The rest froze to death bit by bit.
The only place the elements spared
Was wild and cold Siberi

I can't comprehend how it's happened
My body stopped filling chill and pain
My heart was breaking
But I've never felt myself so alive
It seems the fog of my mind's faded

Somewhere far I saw pagan priest
I came to him and heard the voice
"I've been waiting for you, man,
Hovering here, between life and death,
I'll help you end your way.

"You'll end up in spirit world.
There won't be turning back.
You have fulfilled your destiny.
You were given a chance to purify your soul."

He started strange ritual.

My body began to be shaken.
My arms involuntarily lifted up.

I left my body and wild animal fear filled me.
I saw a huge blooming tree pulling me to it self
And coming nearer I soared up to its boughs.

Hundreds of different worlds and creatures
Went through me.
I watched and couldn't believe my eyes.
Calm replaced fear and tiredness.
I lifted upper and upper
Leaving gloom somewhere far,
Meeting warm light.

At very top I was dazzled by shine
Coming from wonderful creatures
Looking like birds on blooming boughs.
I began speaking and heard their answers.

Developing mentally people go upper and upper,
Attaining the highest degree
Here they come and make worlds themselves.
We're waiting for you but firstly
Go to very bottom.

I flew down passing all levels of the universe
One by one they became darker and darker.
My heart filled with fear again.

Fear grasped me at the bottom,
I saw uneasy souls not finding calm.
Suddenly I saw my wife and child
Silently looking in my eyes.
I couldn't bear their look
And my heart was broken.

I ran to them pleading for forgiveness
For living all life in vain
And everything I did.

"You aren't guilty, it all was destined.
People always ruined everything.
So that's what we deserve and you ended that up

You're given a chance to clear and find calm.
Go and fulfill your destiny,
We'll always remember you."

Any misfortune you call haphazard
You do not see real reasons
You suppose this world big clutter

Try for size every bit of passing things
And you'll see that everything has cause

Everything you do will come back
To be able to see causal effect
You should put together facts

One can develop only on grasping any and all
And at the end of path
I am about to meet
This sunless rise

I've suddenly caught sight of light
On coming nearer I've seen a stream
With water bubbling up despite the chill.

I couldn't help desiring to drink
This shining frozen water
I've sipped out of my hands

Harshly light and might have filled me up.
It seems as if I've awoken from sound sleep
As If I've never lived before.

One can develop only on grasping any and all
And at the end of path
I meet this sunless rise
This bright ascent of soul.y