Written by Bulletdodger on 16.05.2012 at 18:54

"It was such a trivial solution."

I love this genre of jokes... I'm going to add a couple of these now...

A biologist, physicist and mathematician are in a train. When they look out of the window, they see a black sheep grazing on the meadow. The biologist says: "A breed of black sheep has been introduced here." The physicist claims: "We have indeed a black sheep here because if one side of it is black, so must be the other side. The mathematician, on the other hand, claims: "I can only see that this sheep has one black side. As I can't see the other side, it is not possible to claim that the entire sheep is black."

Three mathematicians and three economists are in a train. The mathematicians have bought a ticket each while the economists have one ticket for all three. When the train inspector arrives to check the tickets, the economists go to a toilet. When the inspector knocks on the door, one hand appears and shows the ticket.
Next time the mathematicians also try this trick and buy one ticket for all three. The economists, however, decide to buy no ticket at all. When the inspector arrives, the mathematicians hide in the lavatory. The economists knock on the door, take the ticket and close themselves into another lavatory.

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are having an espresso at a street café. As they observe a building on the other side of the street, they notice two people entering the building. After a while three people come out of the building.
The biologist says: "They have reproduced while inside."
The physicist claims: "The observation wasn't accurate enough."
The mathematician says: "If one person enters the building now, it'll be empty again."

Written by [user id=105293] on 16.05.2012 at 17:21

OK, time for the Ivanov Joke, which is legendary in Estonia.

I don't think I've heard of it. Who was this Ivanov, after all?

Or is it like the krõmsa joke I posted couple of posts ago?

Written by Ernis on 17.05.2012 at 23:31

I don't think I've heard of it. Who was this Ivanov, after all?

Or is it like the krõmsa joke I posted couple of posts ago?

It's pretty much in the same nonsense category. It sounds so much better in Estonian though. Or maybe I just suck at translation.

Wow, I scrolled two pages to see that goddamned carrot joke everyone is talking about. I want my 5 minutes back.

Seriously, anyone who is contemplating going back to read it, just don't. you'll thank me.

Written by Ernis on 17.05.2012 at 23:31

I love this genre of jokes... I'm going to add a couple of these now...

Good ones, the second one I knew from before, but still good.

Written by Ernis on 17.05.2012 at 23:31

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are having an espresso at a street café. As they observe a building on the other side of the street, they notice two people entering the building. After a while three people come out of the building.
The biologist says: "They have reproduced while inside."
The physicist claims: "The observation wasn't accurate enough."
The mathematician says: "If one person enters the building now, it'll be empty again."

Man I have a hard time with that one, could you explain it a little bit for me?

Written by X-Ray Rod on 20.05.2012 at 22:07

Written by Ernis on 17.05.2012 at 23:31

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are having an espresso at a street café. As they observe a building on the other side of the street, they notice two people entering the building. After a while three people come out of the building.
The biologist says: "They have reproduced while inside."
The physicist claims: "The observation wasn't accurate enough."
The mathematician says: "If one person enters the building now, it'll be empty again."

Man I have a hard time with that one, could you explain it a little bit for me?

I didn't get it either

Written by X-Ray Rod on 20.05.2012 at 22:07

Man I have a hard time with that one, could you explain it a little bit for me?

Written by [user id=17278] on 20.05.2012 at 22:19

I didn't get it either

That is rather interesting that you didn't get the point after the first reading but I'll do my best in order to provide a more profound explanation...

The point is:

Two people enter a building. After a while THREE people come out from that same door. The question is, why did two go in but three come out?
Biological explanation: The two entered the building, mated and produced offspring, the third specimen.

Physical explanation: Two entered, three came out. Means that something was left unnoticed during the observation process and the third must have also entered at some point.

Mathematical explanation: 0+2=2; 2-3= -1; -1+1=0. Two people enter the house, three people exit. That means that the building has minus one people in it. If one person enters, the house will be empty again.

Hope this helped.

Written by Ernis on 20.05.2012 at 22:54

That is rather interesting that you didn't get the point after the first reading but I'll do my best in order to provide a more profound explanation...

The point is:

Two people enter a building. After a while THREE people come out from that same door. The question is, why did two go in but three come out?
Biological explanation: The two entered the building, mated and produced offspring, the third specimen.

Physical explanation: Two entered, three came out. Means that something was left unnoticed during the observation process and the third must have also entered at some point.

Mathematical explanation: 0+2=2; 2-3= -1; -1+1=0. Two people enter the house, three people exit. That means that the building has minus one people in it. If one person enters, the house will be empty again.

Hope this helped.

That was totally obvious from reading the "joke". I am boggled as to how anyone (JohnDoe and Mr. Doctor) cannot comprehend that.

Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 20.05.2012 at 23:02
I am boggled as to how anyone (JohnDoe and Mr. Doctor) cannot comprehend that.

Fuck off. I'm exhausted from camping and can't bother to think anything at all xD.



And yes, it was kind of obvious.

Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 20.05.2012 at 23:02

That was totally obvious from reading the "joke".

I apologise if wasn't funny enough for your taste or clear enough for the two others. Just posted these as an addition to the one already submitted by Bulletdodger and, as he liked them, I think everything should be all right.

Well, I liked them... Probably because I'm studying math and math jokes are unbelievably lame that I end up liking them anyways. So thanks.

A guy walks on the Penrose stairs and says to himself: "God damn it, I should have taken the elevator".

What's the similarity between an burned cake and a pregnant woman??

If you had taken it a minute before, nothing of this would have hapenned!!

Written by [user id=114505] on 10.06.2012 at 03:22
What's the similarity between a burned cake and a pregnant woman?

If you had taken it out a minute earlier, neither would have happened.

That makes it less painful to read, although I still don't find it funny to be honest.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 10.06.2012 at 03:32
That makes it less painful to read, although I still don't find it funny to be honest.

Don't know why but it reminded me of this shitty joke:
The difference between a rock and a dead baby?



You can't fuck the rock.

Written by X-Ray Rod on 10.06.2012 at 04:02
You can't fuck the rock.

See? That's funny. Because it's true.

Two friends talking...
"So I was walking in the park late night when I noticed a young pretty girl walking ahead of me."
"Yes, and what happened next?"
"She looked back and suddenly started walking faster. It was strange and I felt like walking faster as well... just in case."
"And then?"
"At one point she started running and so did I. And as we were both running she started to scream... so did I. And in the end I didn't even understand what had been chasing us because I didn't see anything behind me."

Written by kkktookmybaby on 02.09.2010 at 01:55

One day bill over hears his parents arguing and mom calls the husband a 'bastard'

and so then the dad calls the wife a "bitch"


So the next morning billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a bitch and a bastard?"

and the mom says "well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen"




and then later billy goes outside and listens to his neighbors having sex, and hears "Put that dick in my pussy!"


So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a dick and pussy?"



And so mom says "Well Billy, a dick is a hat and a pussy is a coat"

And later that evening Billy's parents are preparing for thanksgiving dinner, and billy walks in on his dad shaving.And as billy walked in he his dad cuts himself and says "shit"


and billy said "Dad, whats shit"

And then his dad says
"Well billy, shit is a type of Shaving cream "


So billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and yells "fuck!"


and then billy says to his mom "Mom whats fuck?"

"Well billy fuck is a way of cutting the turkey"


and at that time the guests arrive and billy's mom sends him to greet them.

And so Billy says
"Hello bitches and bastards, you can put your dick's and pussy's in the closet.
Right now my dad's upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is still in the kitchen fucking the Turkey"

that shit was funny.

How does a New Zealander find a sheep in high grass?








Very pleasurable!

A father is told that his son is not doing well at school. Instead of concentrating on his studies, he spends time drinking and smoking and hanging around with a girl of dubious reputation. So the father summons his son into his office for some serious talk.

"I heard from the teachers that your grades are getting worse because you do not concentrate on studying any longer. They told me you smoke. What brand, may I ask?"
"Err... Golden gate... American legend..."
"Here, have a Davidoff. Try it and tell me what you think."
"Well... yes, it's different. It's good."
"And how about the drinking?"
"Beer... sometimes vodka..."
"Right! Here's some Ardbeg Corryvreckan. What do you think?"
"It's good..."
"And the woman you're seeing?"
"Just some random chick I met in the park."
The father takes his telephone and says, "Christina, darling. Could you come into my office?"
A stunningly beautiful assistant steps into the room.
"Please take my son out to that restaurant. You know which one I mean. I wish you a nice evening!"

Next day the father asks about how the son spent his evening. "It was very nice. Thank you, father!"
"Now you see... But I hope you also understand that in order to afford a life like that, you need to concentrate on studying."

Ah man, the point of a joke is to laugh... Not to make me feel like I need to fight more for my life.

But anyway, long time no see dude.

A group of students preparing for an exam. The students need to prepare a number of topics they need to be able to do a presentation about. Everyone is studying hard except one who just prepared topic 13. The rest of the group were questioning whether someone could really be so naive to believe that the he'll pick topic 13 from the pile at the exam day.

On the day of the exam that particular student is the first to arrive. As he picks a random card from the pile he gasps "Oh GOD! It's 13. There's no way I'm going to make a presentation about this topic. Let me take another one!" He sticks the card back into the pile and starts shuffling.
"No, you're not going to do that!" disagrees the professor. "You picked 13 and 13 is exactly the topic you're going to do the presentation about. Here's the card. You've got fifteen minutes to prepare."

***

You're all welcome to comment how boring and pointless this joke it is.

Can that even be considered a joke.

I didn't get it at first, and then I got it but like... "laughter" didn't seem to be the appropriate response.

Those "jokes" make me feel uncomfortable.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 18.06.2014 at 23:45

Can that even be considered a joke.

What can be considered one?

Does it have to contain obscenities or does it have to possess some kind of shock value?

Anyways... I got this particular one from a newspaper. I can say I found it amusing. Something wrong with me?

Written by Ernis on 19.06.2014 at 12:55
Does it have to contain obscenities or does it have to possess some kind of shock value?

Has anyone said that?m No... I just think there's barely a punchline big enough to be called a joke. That's what Troy is commenting.


In any case, if that ever happens to me at Uni, I'm totally stealing that strategy.

Written by X-Ray Rod on 19.06.2014 at 14:42

Written by Ernis on 19.06.2014 at 12:55
Does it have to contain obscenities or does it have to possess some kind of shock value?

Has anyone said that?m No... I just think there's barely a punchline big enough to be called a joke. That's what Troy is commenting.

Just wanted to say the same more or less. Where is the punchline?

Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 19.06.2014 at 14:55

Just wanted to say the same more or less. Where is the punchline?

The point lies in how the student managed to trick the teacher. Or did you guess the outcome already from the first sentence? To be quite frank, I don't see how this leaves some people completely bland.

Written by Ernis on 19.06.2014 at 12:55
Does it have to contain obscenities or does it have to possess some kind of shock value?

No, and at no point did I say it needed to. Not sure why you're on the defensive already when you basically asked for people to critique the joke.

In order for it to be a joke I think there needs to be some kind of punchline. This just read like a series of events that you'd see in a kid's movie where the student tricks the professor and it works to his advantage, but it's more so a clever act on behalf of the kid than it is something to laugh at as an audience member as it were.