Written by Himann on 11.02.2009 at 11:44

It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre the fighter pilot and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" He grabs a bottle of merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?" asks the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles, and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up. Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." He tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

"Pierre, what are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!" They resume their passionate interlude. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of cognac and pours it in her lap. He strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.

Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms up and screams furiously, "Pierre, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Pierre stands up defiantly and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!"

hahahahh, this one was fucking good!

Written by Fhuesc on 10.02.2009 at 22:32

Written by X-Ray Rod on 10.02.2009 at 16:28

Do you know why the girl fell when she was in the swing?



... She didn't have any arms! DUH!

Do you know why a squirrel fell from a tree?




...Because it was dead.

LOL.... I really laugh at that one




Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby?








... Two dead babies!

I'm sure some of you out there read Harry Potter, so those of us who do probably get the best kicks out of this. A few years ago I found a blog or something, can't remember what it was, but the author had read the first four or five books and replaced each "wand" with "wang" in his/her mind and quoted the results in the blog. Here are the best picks, I hope this isn't old stuff:

Quote:
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything"

Quote:
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

Quote:
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."

Quote:
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

Quote:
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

Quote:
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

Quote:
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

Quote:
"He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them."

Quote:
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Quote:
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

Quote:
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.02.2009 at 16:55

Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby?








... Two dead babies!

Yes, this one made me laugh... haha.. So there's another one about double.

An American stupid guy arrested two rubbers who came to his house, and called 1822 immediately...

* 911 x 2 = 1822

Written by Graveheart on 12.02.2009 at 00:05

Quote:
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

Quote:
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

The Harry Potter thing was classic lol.. The above quotes in particular just cracked me up lol.. Ok, few more:

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.

The rich lady approaches the butler and speaks to him.

"Take off my dress" she says, so the butler removes her dress.

She then asks the butler, "Remove my bra", which he does.

"Remove my panties", she says, and he does this also.

Finally, with a steely glint in her eye, she says, "And never dress in my clothes again!!!"


======================================================

A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.

When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''

She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''


=======================================================

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 07:39

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.

The rich lady approaches the butler and speaks to him.

"Take off my dress" she says, so the butler removes her dress.

She then asks the butler, "Remove my bra", which he does.

"Remove my panties", she says, and he does this also.

Finally, with a steely glint in her eye, she says, "And never dress in my clothes again!!!"

hahahhahahh this one was awesome but sadly it might not work in romanian...

Written by Valentin B on 12.02.2009 at 09:54

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 07:39

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.

The rich lady approaches the butler and speaks to him.

"Take off my dress" she says, so the butler removes her dress.

She then asks the butler, "Remove my bra", which he does.

"Remove my panties", she says, and he does this also.

Finally, with a steely glint in her eye, she says, "And never dress in my clothes again!!!"

hahahhahahh this one was awesome but sadly it might not work in romanian...

Lol, why is that?

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 10:03

Written by Valentin B on 12.02.2009 at 09:54

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 07:39

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.

The rich lady approaches the butler and speaks to him.

"Take off my dress" she says, so the butler removes her dress.

She then asks the butler, "Remove my bra", which he does.

"Remove my panties", she says, and he does this also.

Finally, with a steely glint in her eye, she says, "And never dress in my clothes again!!!"

hahahhahahh this one was awesome but sadly it might not work in romanian...

Lol, why is that?

well it's a bit in-depth, but.. when someone says the romanian equivalent of "take off my clothes"(da-mi jos hainele) as in "take off the clothes which i am wearing" is different from "take off my clothes which you are wearing", which would be "da-ti jos hainele mele".

now if i would say that joke to someone, i'd obviously have to say the lady tells the butler "da-mi jos hainele"(which would be understood as take off the clothes which i am wearing), and when i'd say the last line he'd be all confused since it doesn't have the same dual meaning as in english, and he wouldn't get it.

nerds ftw

Written by Valentin B on 12.02.2009 at 10:10

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 10:03

Written by Valentin B on 12.02.2009 at 09:54

Written by Himann on 12.02.2009 at 07:39

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.

The rich lady approaches the butler and speaks to him.

"Take off my dress" she says, so the butler removes her dress.

She then asks the butler, "Remove my bra", which he does.

"Remove my panties", she says, and he does this also.

Finally, with a steely glint in her eye, she says, "And never dress in my clothes again!!!"

hahahhahahh this one was awesome but sadly it might not work in romanian...

Lol, why is that?

well it's a bit in-depth, but.. when someone says the romanian equivalent of "take off my clothes"(da-mi jos hainele) as in "take off the clothes which i am wearing" is different from "take off my clothes which you are wearing", which would be "da-ti jos hainele mele".

now if i would say that joke to someone, i'd obviously have to say the lady tells the butler "da-mi jos hainele"(which would be understood as take off the clothes which i am wearing), and when i'd say the last line he'd be all confused since it doesn't have the same dual meaning as in english, and he wouldn't get it.

nerds ftw

Mmm ok lol.. nerds ftw indeed

Written by Valentin B on 12.02.2009 at 10:10


well it's a bit in-depth, but.. when someone says the romanian equivalent of "take off my clothes"(da-mi jos hainele) as in "take off the clothes which i am wearing" is different from "take off my clothes which you are wearing", which would be "da-ti jos hainele mele".

now if i would say that joke to someone, i'd obviously have to say the lady tells the butler "da-mi jos hainele"(which would be understood as take off the clothes which i am wearing), and when i'd say the last line he'd be all confused since it doesn't have the same dual meaning as in english, and he wouldn't get it.

nerds ftw

bottomline... if i want to ask a girl to take my clothes off, i'd say 'da-mi jos hainele'?? just curious

Written by tulkas on 12.02.2009 at 21:56

bottomline... if i want to ask a girl to take my clothes off, i'd say 'da-mi jos hainele'?? just curious

yeah, lol

spanish has some similarities with romanian, through the common latin ancestry

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart.

While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He asks her what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the room.

He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but what's with her wearing the two coats?
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, ''FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!''


===========================================================

How many blonde jokes are there?

None, they're all true!

===========================================================

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?

Envelopes in the disk drive.

===========================================================

A married couple was
in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


===============================================================

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Himann you love women, don't you?

Written by Elio on 13.02.2009 at 15:06

Himann you love women, don't you?

Almost too much

The second one was the best imo. really true.

If women ruled the world...

- Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
- A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
- Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
- PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
- Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
- Men would get reputations for "sleeping around".
- "Ms Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
- Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
- Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
- Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".
- Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
- Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
- Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
- Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry," "I love you," "You're beautiful," "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit," "Go to sleep - I'll take care of the baby," etc.
- Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
- Men would sit around and wonder what women are thinking.
- Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
- All toilet seats would be nailed down and men would sit down to pee.
- Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
- TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.
- All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator!
- During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year old boys.
- Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
- For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
- Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

Written by Ernotar on 14.02.2009 at 20:31

If women ruled the world...

- Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
- A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
- Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
- PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
- Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
- Men would get reputations for "sleeping around".
- "Ms Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
- Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
- Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
- Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".
- Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
- Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
- Men would have to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
- Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry," "I love you," "You're beautiful," "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit," "Go to sleep - I'll take care of the baby," etc.
- Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
- Men would sit around and wonder what women are thinking.
- Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
- All toilet seats would be nailed down and men would sit down to pee.
- Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
- TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.
- All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator!
- During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year old boys.
- Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
- For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
- Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

what's a hot flash? these were really funny, it's a good thing they're not true though

oh btw women aren't as good as you think, after all you bleed for 4 days every month and don't die. that is strange...

Written by Valentin B on 14.02.2009 at 23:58

oh btw women aren't as good as you think, after all you bleed for 4 days every month and don't die. that is strange...

JAJJAJAJAJAJJAJA

That remains me of Southpark when the teacher who is gay says:

"I can't trust a thing that bleeds for days in a month without dying!!!"

Written by Valentin B on 14.02.2009 at 23:58

what's a hot flash?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menopause
"The most well-known symptom of menopause, though, is the "hot flash", a sudden increase in body temperature caused by declining estrogen levels; the "flash" sensation in a "hot flash" occurs as the body temperature peaks and begins a rapid return to normal. Hot flashes can become so strong that they can raise the body temperature multiple degrees in a very short period of time and cause the sufferer to feel weak and break out in heavy sweating."

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 00:50

Written by Valentin B on 14.02.2009 at 23:58

oh btw women aren't as good as you think, after all you bleed for 4 days every month and don't die. that is strange...

JAJJAJAJAJAJJAJA

That remains me of Southpark when the teacher who is gay says:

"I can't trust a thing that bleeds for days in a month without dying!!!"

Omg, that's rough.

? Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
? What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
? If we put a man on the moon, we should be able to put them all up there.
? Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
? Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
? Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart.
? Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
? Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
? Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it.
? If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
? The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
? Remember: a sense of humour does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his.

"100 ADVANTAGES FROM BEING A MAN"

Excuse em in my english wasn't perfect. The text was in spanish so I had to translate it.
I will split the comment in some parts because I don't want to write the entire thing right now:

1- Talking to a friend on telephone takes less than a minute.
2- Most of the nude-scenes in the movies are femenine
3- You know about cars
4- When you're going for vacations for 5 days... You just need ONE bag
5- Sunday's football
6- You don't have to care about your friends' sex-life
7- Toilet's queue are 80% shorter
8- Your old friends dont give a damn if you got or lost some weight.
9- You don't get cheated on the hairdresser
10- When you're searching for something good on the TV, you don't have to stop everytime you see someone cry.
11- Your ass is not a factor when your searching for job.
12- All your orgasms are real.
13- A beer-belly don't make you invisible for the other gender.
14- You save thousands of dollars on cosmetics during your entire life
15- You don't have to carry a handbag full of stupid things everytime your going out.
16- You don't have to take your skirt everytime you go up on the stairs in public. [and even better.. you don't even use a fucking skirt!!!]
17- You can go to the toilet without going with a group.
18- You don't loose your last-name
19- You can leave the hotel without making the bed.
20- When your job is critized, you don't need to think that everybody secretly hates you.
21- If you need it... You can haunt your own food... Without even care about how you will look after.
22- The toolbox is all yours
23- You get more credit, even for the smallest act of intelligence.
24- You understand the humor on jokes about marriage
25- The world was meant by and for you.





75 more to come! 25 on the next post

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

1- Talking to a friend on telephone takes less than a minute.

That's SO NOT true! Well, not always. Personally I don't like to talk on telephone anyway, I better send sms.
I know few guys who pick up the phone and just after 5s answer with a slow "yees?". It's like, you ask him: "Where are you?", and he within 5 seconds is slowly answering: "Eee... *silence* ...home." And you know - time is money. XD

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39
18- You don't loose your last-name

Well, that's not really true either... we can keep our last names if we want to. Maybe it's different in other countries.

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

4- When you're going for vacations for 5 days... You just need ONE bag

Point made....it's not unusual when a girl takes a suitcase of roughly the same size as herself with her when going on a one week trip or so.....and well....we are meant for them to help them carry all this excess luggage....

Written by Ernis on 15.02.2009 at 18:18

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

4- When you're going for vacations for 5 days... You just need ONE bag

Point made....it's not unusual when a girl takes a suitcase of roughly the same size as herself with her when going on a one week trip or so.....and well....we are meant for them to help them carry all this excess luggage....

Hahah, take that.
But you want us to look pretty, so what can we do about it?

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

"100 ADVANTAGES FROM BEING A MAN"

Excuse em in my english wasn't perfect. The text was in spanish so I had to translate it.
I will split the comment in some parts because I don't want to write the entire thing right now:

YEAH!! That's more like it. We got to strike back against Ernotar and her anti-men propaganda, because we men got nothing better to do than sit here talking shit on forums and judge eachother's frostbittenness.

You're still not frostbitten by the way. Ragana beats you in the frostbitten competition.

Written by Ragana on 15.02.2009 at 18:24

Hahah, take that.
But you want us to look pretty, so what can we do about it?

Damn. She realized our weakness. What the fuck do we do now?

Errrrm....

Well it's you women who want to look pretty since your minds are obviously shaped according to the divine will of us men. Anyone who starts thinking otherwise is probably confused.

DAMN! It's not working. She realizes I'm talking crap!

Fuck...... You stupid Chinese man! Why did you make her realize our secret?!? Now she knows everything and can take over the world!!!

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

14- You save thousands of dollars on cosmetics during your entire life

Not if you are a Black Metal Dude or an Emo

Written by Ragana on 15.02.2009 at 18:24

Written by Ernis on 15.02.2009 at 18:18

Written by X-Ray Rod on 15.02.2009 at 17:39

4- When you're going for vacations for 5 days... You just need ONE bag

Point made....it's not unusual when a girl takes a suitcase of roughly the same size as herself with her when going on a one week trip or so.....and well....we are meant for them to help them carry all this excess luggage....

Hahah, take that.
But you want us to look pretty, so what can we do about it?

I bet there are easier ways to keep a girl fresh and pretty than carrying tons of cosmetic hardware and all kinds of creams, serums, hairsprays, ampullas, hairdryers, manicure kits more complex than a sanitary technician's toolbox.....
if a girl is naturally beautiful then everything is all right and she'll be pretty as a nature's child....if a girl is bland then tons of colourful plaster in her face don't sace anything but will make things worse.....




Ok....joke time now....

Moderator walks on the street with a modem in one hand and a bottle of ale in the other.
A friend sees him and asks: "Have you bought a modem and now celebrate it by having an ale?"
"Nope...My wife told me to leave the house and take all my belongings with me."



"I read through the Internet yesterday!"
"What? You don't have connection at home."
"What was it then you gave me on that flash drive?"


Doctor: "Don't you go out in the evenings with some girl?"
Patient: "I don't. I just sit at home."
Doctor: "Don't you have the sexual desire for it or are there other reasons?"
Patient: "I don't think it's about my abilities."
Doctor: "Then what?"
Patient: "My wife just doesn't let me."


A man returns from South Africa and speaks that the weather was awfully hot there.
"Imagine...there was almost fifty degrees Celsius IN SHADE!"
One of those who listened, said: "Idiot! Who told you to go in shade then?"


"Why do you want to divorce from your wife?"
"She smokes in bed."
"Can that really be a reason?"
"I can...she uses my ear as an ashtray."


And finally one I already wrote once in an older thread I think.....


Men at work. "Hey, shall we go out today after work and have a beer?"
Everyone agrees except one who says: "I can't drink alcohol."
"Why?"
"Faith doesn't allow it."
"You're a muslim or something?"
One of the co-workers explains: "No, Faith, that's his wife. She weighs 85 kilograms, 192 cm tall, railway worker."

Written by ForeverDarkWoods on 15.02.2009 at 18:43

Now she knows everything and can take over the world!!!

Oh yeah... beware.
We like to look good just for ourselves too (makes us feel better), but on the other hand, it's obviously great if we look great in front of men and so. I can't choose which of these is more important.

Written by Ernis on 15.02.2009 at 19:08

I bet there are easier ways to keep a girl fresh and pretty than carrying tons of cosmetic hardware and all kinds of creams, serums, hairsprays, ampullas, hairdryers, manicure kits more complex than a sanitary technician's toolbox.....
if a girl is naturally beautiful then everything is all right and she'll be pretty as a nature's child....if a girl is bland then tons of colourful plaster in her face don't sace anything but will make things worse.....

Oh, I'm not talking about that. I totally agree that women look better without all these tons of cosmetic and other "beauty" stuff which in the end makes them look more ridiculous than beautiful, even not to mention health problems.

Written by Ragana on 15.02.2009 at 18:08

That's SO NOT true! Well, not always. Personally I don't like to talk on telephone anyway, I better send sms.
I know few guys who pick up the phone and just after 5s answer with a slow "yees?". It's like, you ask him: "Where are you?", and he within 5 seconds is slowly answering: "Eee... *silence* ...home." And you know - time is money. XD
Well, that's not really true either... we can keep our last names if we want to. Maybe it's different in other countries.

The list is about steriotypes as you can see... S it still counts
Ok... since the list got good attention.. here comes 25 more!!!
And Foreverdarkwood... fuck the grimness, here we're talking about how we rule as men!

26- You don't really feel like washing the toilet THAT often
27- You can be washed and ready for everything in around 10 min
28- You don't really care that much when it comes to your reputation towars sex [but you do care about how large it is... @@]
29- The plans for the marriage take care for itself.
30- If someone forgot to invite you to go to somewhere... he's/she's still your friend.
31- Your underwear cost like 10 dollars.... in a pack of three.
32- The hot promoters [I hope that's the word in english... in spanish is "promotora"]
33- Noone of your colleagues has the ability to make you cry
34- You don't need to shave your body from the neck to your toes...
35- You don't need to sleep beside a hairy ass every night
36- If you're 34 years old and single, noone really cares about it.
37- You can write your name on the snow!!! [ ]
38- You can go to a pee-competition
39- Everything on your face stays in the same colour...
40- Chocolate is just another snack
41- More male presidents than women.
42- You can enjoy a ride on your car... silently
43- A good bunch of roses fix everything
44- You don't need to care of other people's feelings [not all the time anyway...]
45- You think about sex 90% of the times you wake up... And it fine with you.
46- You can have a white and kinda tight t-shirt in a place with a lot of water.
47- You don't feel forced to stop your friend who wants to seduce a girl on the party.
48- The mechanics don't lie to you.
49- You don't give a fuck if someone don't/do notice your new haircut
50- You can watch TV with a friend... In total silence for hours without thinking "He must be angry with me.