About the MetalStorm Awards
| Written by: | BitterCOld |
| Published: | 13.01.2010 |
More brutal, more kvlt, more tr00, and every bit as predictable as the Oscars, each year Metalstorm hosts it's own awards, where we ask you to step up and vote for your favorite albums of the year.
So here are some thoughts, observations and answers for you in regards to everyone's favorite time of the metal year.
To preemptively answer the question that seemingly gets asked 16 times a day starting in mid-October?
"When are the awards?"
They kick off the same time they do every year. Like clockwork. February 1st.
Why February you ask?
Well, dear reader, it is because they are a truly colossal undertaking which, unless you have played a part in the process, cannot hope to fully wrap your head around.
Simply put there are an awful lot of albums released in any given revolution around Sol. We must sift through these and weigh in on what we liked, what we thought was mediocre, and what we'd rather puncture our own eardrums with a rusty ice pick than listen to again? stuff them all into nice little genre packages (not easy when many bands blur lines, invariably you bastards always bitch about why Band A should be Donkeyrape Metal rather than Donkeysodomy Metal or whatnot), and then with all of our distinct tastes, we bribe, fondle, threaten, entice, belittle, badger, and immolate one another until we finally "weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved" awards and come up with a Top 10 for each genre. Or less, in some cases.
Even then, things are not clean, ties (and maybe bones) must be broken.
Finally, once that is complete, we hit the stage in the game where the real work begins. Last year saw 19 different genres represented. Nineteen. The vast majority of which have ten nominations? which, according to my mad math skills, means that there are somewhere around 190,000 write-ups that must be done.
And 190,000 bands which, via hook or crook, must be notified so that they can display their nomination on their web/myspace/facebook/twitter/(whatever the fuck is trendy this week) pages to encourage their fans to show up and vote in support.
Also at this stage, 190,000 separate entries, not to mention the drama, cover songs, video, stuff which falls outside genre specific polls, must then all be dumped into proper web formatting, all album covers inserted, all 4,200,000 links (190,000 home page + 190,000 myspace = 4.2 million) checked for accuracy, etc.
That is a lot of work.
Keep in mind your MS Staff and Eliters lead busy lives - both in their "human" guise, doing such mundane things as going to work, visiting family for the holidays, taking exams, and puking on public transport, as well as in their MetalStorm alter egos, like fighting crime, helping crime, slaying dragons, bedding chicks, bedding dragons, slaying chicks, bedding then slaying hipsterposers, leaving the hall for Manowar shows, conducting interviews, writing reviews, answering emails from MSers who spam each and every staff member as to why we haven't proofed their review within 23 minutes of them hitting the submit button, and our weekly Ice Cream Social in the sacred halls of MetalStorm Towers.
It truly is a labor of love on our part. Heavy on labor, heavy on love.
So hopefully that has helped it sink in a tad what a Herculean undertaking this is each and every year.
The awards will effectively kick off in a couple weeks. Enjoy them. And, please, take advantage of the 190,000 myspace links we plug in. Check out the nominees. You have a fucking month. No need to hurry, awards are not won or lost on day one. Take your time and enjoy the ride.
And for the love of Zarquon, don't be the douchenozzle that blows your wad three minutes after the polls open clicking on your favorite bands then whining when, inevitably, the most popular artists win 90% of the categories? after all, their fans did the same thing you did.
 | Written on 13.01.2010 by BitterCOld has been officially reviewing albums for MetalStorm since 2009. |
Comments page 3 / 3
| Mikyz Posts: 711 From: Lebanon  |
Written by Introspekrieg on 28.01.2010 at 06:37 That's what actually sucks, I don't really care about who wins, though I would like to know who the staff nominated in case I missed some releases 
---- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250  |
Written by Mikyz on 28.01.2010 at 10:51 lol you noticed as well. read the opening paragraph to my 2008 Picks Blog
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Mikyz Posts: 711 From: Lebanon |
Written by BitterCOld on 28.01.2010 at 18:03 You couldn't have said it  People who lack musical depth usually instantly worship their favorite bands release, which ruins most "public" votings, so I usually check "professional" or people with an interesting musical taste's favorite albums of the year. the fact that you nominate the albums fix things or we will end up like Terrorizer or whatever magazines' Behemoth for all awards.
---- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Oops, actually meant to quote Intro on that, as he was the one referencing the write-ins for albums not released in the year we were voting on. doing so now to increase the likelihood of him visiting this discussion again... Written by Introspekrieg on 28.01.2010 at 06:37
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Introspekrieg Totemic Lust Posts: 2747 From: USA  |
Written by BitterCOld on 28.01.2010 at 18:03 Haha, nice article, not sure why I missed it before. I think it might just be new members not understanding that it's an annual event encompassing only albums from said year. Or it could just be some jester having a jest. You're telling me that this is all a joke... ...organised by a couple of jesters? Is this you is it?: "Oh let's do a jest - a great big lark in the courtyard of the king and see how he takes it". IS IT!?
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| Umideath Posts: 177 From: Iran  |
I already too !!
---- My Top 90 Metal Albums Of 2023 - Part 2 >> https://youtu.be/6Yi7zV9Xo58 - Part 1 https://youtu.be/8F0E_CAfmMM
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Oh, a couple other things... 1. before writing in a band, please check to see they are not a nominee elsewhere. 2. before writing in a vote, please be sure to spell the band name and album correctly. 3. and as above, before writing in a vote, please be sure the album was actually released in the year we are voting on.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| MeloDeathViking Posts: 514 From: USA  |
I was I had an ice cream social to go to  goddamn staff has all the fun!
---- "I am not superstitious, but I'm a little 'stitious." - Michael Scott
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| JCJen7 Posts: 423 From: USA  |
Not sure if it was purposeful exhaggeration, or I am missing something else, but 19 x 10 doesn't equal 190,000
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by JCJen7 on 29.12.2010 at 08:22 yes it does. duh. your calculator must be broken. but i was on my 3.75millionth beer when i wrote that, so i might have been off by a dozen or so.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Kennoth Posts: 2502 From: Croatia  |
While I wasn't around during previous awards, looking at winners, it's all pretty predictable. Fans with large fanbase always get all the awards. Say Fear Factory got one whenever they released an album in 'industrial' category (even though their newest album is great). So did Napalm Death in grindcore etc etc. So how's the voting system gonna be this year? I'd personally like the staff to decide about the winners instead of users.
---- *insert something deep and profound*
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| Susan Smeghead Posts: 6941 From: USA  |
Kennoth, We do both. We have a "Staff Choice" award as we as the main awards being decided by user votes.
---- "A life all mine Is what I choose At the end of my days" --The Gathering "A Life All Mine" from Souvenirs
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| Trerot Posts: 20 From: Norway  |
How long time do we have to vote? like a month or more? i need time to listen to all the albums 
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| Marcel Hubregtse Grumpy Old Fuck Posts: 40071 From: The Netherlands  |
Written by Trerot on 12.01.2011 at 16:03 The nominations will go on-line on february 1st and you have the enitre month of February to cast your votes.
---- Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.) 05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996 
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| Czerny Reiter Posts: 291 From: Portugal  |
Written by Susan on 08.01.2011 at 17:50 About this, something I've been meaning to ask for a while: Do all of the categories include a staff pick for a given year? I'm pretty sure there have been nominations where I've checked for the staff seal of approval and didn't find it on any of the 10+ nominees (e.g. Progressive Metal category for 2008). I.
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| Susan Smeghead Posts: 6941 From: USA |
@Ininteligível - All categories have a staff pick for 2008... I'll look into why they're not all showing up on the album pages.
---- "A life all mine Is what I choose At the end of my days" --The Gathering "A Life All Mine" from Souvenirs
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| JCJen7 Posts: 423 From: USA |
Just wondering, if we don't agree in a particular category a band is put in, can we write them in as a "write-in" vote for where WE think they should be?
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by JCJen7 on 28.01.2011 at 06:40 nope. we just delete the vote and laugh at the user.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| JCJen7 Posts: 423 From: USA |
Written by BitterCOld on 28.01.2011 at 06:43 I can see all the staff members huddled around a monitor (idk how they all met there) laughing at ridiculous write-ins, and then moving on to laugh at more.
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by JCJen7 on 28.01.2011 at 06:46 with the people who cast in the wrong category, we might chuckle, depending upon how off it is. you would be surprised what some people call "black" ... if you write in an album that is 2008/2009, we will laugh, and we will all collectively laugh horribly if you nominate something more than 3 years old. sadly, it happens every year.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Posts: 21306 From: Canada  |
Written by BitterCOld on 28.01.2011 at 06:51 So what you're saying is, I can't vote for A Blaze in the Northern Sky? Surely it's better than anything released in 2010! PS - I think it's more thrash than black, so I think I will submit my write-in for that in power metal.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 28.01.2011 at 07:07 two examples from last year... someone wrote in Cobalt - Gin in "symphonic metal", and someone else pissed away their Black Metal vote writing in Dissection's Storm Of THe LIght's Bane, which was 15 years old at the time...
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Promonex Cathemeral Posts: 9720 From: Germany  |
Written by Guest on 29.01.2011 at 08:52 Here.
---- All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu... This is the truth! This is my belief! ...At least for now. - The Mystery of Life, Vol. 841 Ch. 26
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by Guest on 31.01.2011 at 07:41 1. it's still January. 2. the 2011 awards will not be up for another year.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| 3rdWorldFuckFace Account deleted |
3rdWorldFuckFace
Account deleted Written by BitterCOld on 31.01.2011 at 19:00 I'm sorry.That was a mistake,It should've been 2010(sort of a Freudian slip  ).Nevermind, Why isn't Salome's "Terminal" nominated in the doom category??? Not even a single MS staff listened to it???? 
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| BitterCOld The Ancient One Posts: 15250 |
Written by Guest on 15.02.2011 at 18:06 we listed 10 albums, even though there were far more than 10 doom albums released last year. we picked the 10 we collectively enjoyed the most. If it is not nominated, it simply means we didn't like it (collectively, not individually) as much as we did those 10 albums. you can always use the write-in feature to vote for it.
---- get the fuck off my lawn. Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Posts: 21306 From: Canada |
Written by Sentinel65 on 16.01.2012 at 02:57 Read the first few sentences of this article. 
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Spirit Molecule spirit molecule Posts: 1918 From: India  |
Like any other year end lists or awards, the MS awards for me always is about checking out releases that I missed out. Considering that quite a few on the staff are quite into sludge/stoner doom I always find stuff that I've overlooked or maybe hadn't even heard off. I've barely heard new releases this year, so I'm looking forward to finding some new stuff.
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